How strict are you with toddler sweet treats, and how to cut back?

[Alibali22]

I think Mother’s Day has brought this to the forefront of my mind, thinking about what makes you a good mum etc.
I think I’ve kind of f up when it comes to my toddler and her diet.
I was pretty strict on sugar until she was 2 then a family holiday relaxed me and over a year later I’ve gone too much the other way and now I think they are actually addicted to sugar.
I’ve used sweet treats as a bride or a reward and that has definitely not helped either, now saying no causes an upset.
I actually wake up some days and think right today no sweets, ice lollies, cakes and then I just give in.
How strict are others with sweet treats? And any healthy alternatives? Or anyone been in the same situation and managed to change?
my reasons for changing are obviously health and her teeth.

I was incredibly strict until age 3 and then socially for parties started allowing cake when it was someone’s birthday. I have always given as much fruit as they wanted and tangerines have always been a firm favourite. It can be a bit more expensive giving them things like mango or more exotic fruit for special treats, but worth it.

Going cold turkey probably isn’t going to work for you if they’re already used to it, but you can slowly cut back. How about things like dried apricots, raisins and other sugary fruit like that? Or if they’re seriously addicted to chocolate, can you start offering chocolate coated nuts instead?

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Just because cutting all sugar entirely might be unrealistic at this point, cutting down can still be really helpful, especially with behaviour.

Do they like any other sweet snacks that are slightly healthier?

My nephew has the occasional sweet treat but it’s occasional. He doesn’t eat brilliantly at the best of times. His dad with his older brother did buy him
ice creams a lot so I think they’re trying to avoid this with the younger one.

Do you eat sweets, ice lollies and cakes everyday? If yes, you need to change that too to set the right example. If no, you just stop buying them for your DC.
Of course you can just go ‘cold turkey’. You will have to deal with meltdowns until it becomes the norm. Dealing with the headache and meltdowns is a small price to pay for your child’s health and teeth. Just be ready for a few difficult weeks whilst they adjust.

Every day is way too much at that age. Your kid expects it as it’s that often which is why you are giving in. You need to cut right back and just not have that in your house.

@coconutbiscuit honestly no I don’t so it’s even more ridiculous I’ve let me child do so.
I actually think cold turkey might be the way forward.

Your DD is 3, that's well beyond being a toddler.

i don't think going cold turkey is the way forward & I don't think there is one universal right answer. Depends on your DD & your routine.

Personally I'd say make sure she starts the day with protein & healthy fats. Not carbs (cereal, toast)

then make snacks, treats, etc things like berries or apple.

but allow her something like cake, chocolate, sweets after lunch. Then back to protein or berries.

just gradually swapping them out.

its more expensive & less convenient, but so much better for her.

Christmas, birthdays, days at grandparents or friends popping round always ends in a sweet treat from them. Not that it’s an excuse but often it’s not me actually buying the sweets.

We had to be told not to buy chocolates and sweets for the older boy as he was getting fillings and wanting this more. He is now occasionally allowed sweets but in moderation and as a treat. In fact the last pack of crisps and sweets I got him he only ate half. His toddler brother tried a slice of home made cake recently but didn’t eat all of it so I do think it’s what’s offered is key.

You have to be honest with yourself to tackle the problem OP. These things don’t happen everyday. Even if you had three of those events in a week, which would seldom be the case, that’s still four days a week your child can eat no cake, no chocolate, no sweets and no ice cream. Remember you’re the parent and you have all the power to create a new norm, it just won’t happen overnight

I will reiterate again that you can go cold turkey - there is no need to be offering your child bags of ultra processed sweets for the sake of weaning them off. Just stop buying them. You can do it!

@SummerFrog2026 I would say a just turned three your old is still a toddler.
They eat really well at nursery
@coconutbiscuit thank you I think you are totally right, I’m the adult I have to say no and remove these items from my home. Sometimes a reality check is needed!

I genuinely don’t understand why people start giving kids sweets. They don’t want them or need them. We just never introduced them and it wasn’t an issue. We never had ‘crappy’ foods in the house either. Small occasional amounts of chocolate was all they had. They also only drank water or milk.

Our kids are now young adults and did they gorge on sweets once they got the chance? No, never. They hate fizzy drinks too. Both have perfect teeth with no fillings.

@AsparagusSeason good for you but I did so do you have anything helpful to comment or just a boastful reply of your excellent parenting?

When you mean crappy foods what do you mean? My DB and his wife occasionally buy hot cross buns, croissants so is that crappy? The older child talks about sweets with his friends at school, half the time he’s seen them or heard about them but hasn’t tried them.

We don't make a big deal about them at parties, but never have sweets, chocolate or shop bought cakes in at home.

I do bake, but focus on naturally occurring sugars. There are loads of recipes that are made using mashed bananas or apple puree and no refined sugar which are also full of lots of other wholefoods and nutritional value e.g. oats, buckwheat, nut butters etc. They'll be a bit of an adjustment for her taste buds, but much better for her.

For ice lollies we blend and freeze watermelon in moulds, which makes a delicious ice lolly. You can add in chopped fruit like little pieces of strawerry too.

At Christmas and Easter I just don't buy lots of sweets and chocolate. E.g. no big tubs of Quality Streets lying around. Maybe a single chocolate reindeer in the stocking. Easter is one egg. Close family members either give a book or little toy if they really want or pop money in savings. If someone else gives something it tends to get put to one side and forgotten about.

But we are very low key about it all and wouldn't make a big deal if someone gave him something.

He's not that bothered now when he is given stuff. He's not very keen on chocolate and will have one or two sweets then lose interest.

@Tiptopflipflop perfect thank you, have you got any recipe recommendations or where to find them?
like home made oat bars, muffins that type of thing.

Easy trap to fall in to tbh! We are definitely on the stricter end of the spectrum, kids (3&4) don't have any sweets or chocolate at all with us. We do baking together so that's the treat. We make sure they've had a big lunch before parties so they aren't just scoffing sweets and cake, but we don't actually restrict them at social occasions etc.

Although, I did once get sucked in to a digestive biscuit spiral with them after a road trip with limited food options 😂 that went on for weeks and was mainly driven by me as I also love them.

Maybe it's easier said than done but just don't have treats in the house at all. Just like everything with pre-schoolers the initial reaction/resistance is intense but they do get over it, especially when you really mean it (which you will if you haven't got anything to give them!).

You could try doing a tray bake of (low sugar) flapjack type things per week and use those as the treats. Or protein balls are so easy to make and you don't even need to bake them and you can make loads at a time. We use peanut butter, dessicated coconut, collagen, raisins, sometimes almond flour, maple syrup - the possibilities are endless. Easy to store and travel.

my first child didn’t eat anything sweet til 2 (he did have birthday cake when he turned one but didn’t eat much). My second had some. I’m pretty relaxed about food as I have my own issues and have not denied sweet treats, though I’d say only ice cream van on Fridays (he was at their school every day in warm weather), but don’t recall using sweets as a bribe or reward. Now my kids are early 20s, my DD is very strict with herself and my son is feast or famine (he’s into fitness in a big way after being chubby as a child). But not really sure how I fed them had anything to do with that. They always ate well and loved their vegetables - not fussy at all. It’s more their attitude to food closely relates to their personalities.

Mine didn’t have added sugar at that age, so it was easy because they didn’t know about it. It’s trickier for you because your daughter’s expecting it, but she’s only three, so you can still pull it back.

When mine were a bit older, we used to have a weekly proper tea party with a tablecloth, china and cakes. I also didn’t restrict sweets at birthday parties or celebrations.

If I were you, I’d make a simple weekly planner with a “Tea Party” picture symbol on one day. Carry on as normal until that day comes. Have the tea party, make a big thing of it, make it lovely, enjoy it, let her eat whatever she likes. Show her the planner, pointless to the picture and tell her it's tea party day. On the subsequent days, when she asks for sweets, stay calm, point to the planner, and say, “Sweets are on tea party day”. Make sure there are no sweets in the house. Hold your nerve. Count down the sleeps for her. If you’re consistent, she’ll get used to the new pattern and everything will be fine.

We dont buy it so it cant be offered. Have sweet treats on occasions but only ever if we offer these, never as a result of a megga winge fest or tantrum, but to be honest that rarely happens. This can just be a random day through the week when they have done really well with there tea or if they have been particularly good that day and i want to treat them 😊 sometimes I just fancy a cupper and a biscuit in the afternoon the odd day here and there and they take great delight in joining me! I personally think its important that its the parents idea to eat sweet treats, to stop the regular requests, but also so they know that they can have it from time to time. If not i worry it would become a big taboo topic and ive read this can result in binge eating etc when older (haven't done huge amounts of research into this so dont flame me for quoting that it's just something that stuck with me). In terms of frequency id say they have something like chocolate or a biscuit roughly every other week or so. I dont know if thats too much or not alot but it works for us and both my kids are great eaters with a good blanced diet 😊

At social events where there are sweet treats and 'crap' on offer I leave them too it. It might be there personalities but they dont eat much of it before stopping and ask for 'proper food' when they get home.

I wasn’t especially strict but I didn’t make sweet stuff part of any expectation.

I said ‘and that’s the end of it’ at the end of ‘not today’ etc.

”we haven’t got any today and that’s the end of it, oooh look a robin in the garden “

And grey rock any further whining / requests. Cheery, breezily, no means no and is not the end of the world.

Don’t have pudding / dessert after every meal, or make a big deal of sweet stuff bro g any more treat worthy than anything else when you do have it. Food to be enjoyed, just like a toastie or veg lasagne or rice cakes.

We have never treated things like chocolate and sweets as ‘treats’, which I think helped. We’ve never punished by taking away dessert or rewarded by giving sweets. All food has the same value in DC’s eyes. They have a yogurt and fruit for pudding.

Can you try and make some homemade stuff that has way less sugar? Pancakes made of banana etc

You could try making some healthier treats -
Black bean brownies
Pumpkin, courgette or banana bread (add 1/4 wholemeal flour).
Carrot cake (again add wholemeal flour and reduce the sugar, can swap for apple pieces).

These still contain sugar but at least they als contain other nutrients and protein.

This is ridiculous, sorry. Carbs are not the enemy and children need a lot of them. As long as those carbs are relatively healthy, there is absolutely NO reason to cut down on them in a child's diet. Or for that matter a healthy adult's diet either.

I’d focus on the teeth angle and say these are just a ‘sometimes’ food as they’re not good for your teeth. When are you giving them? For a snack we go for things like an apple cut into slices, raisins, nuts. After dinner I give ours little yogurts, so mine have sweet stuff, but not loads of processed stuff. Also with all that sugar I find when mine do have some as a treat or party etc, they’re behaviour becomes really poor. I don’t think it sets them up well with the sugar highs.

I’m not strict at all, but even that is a matter of perspective though.
Breakfast they will have wheatabix, porridge or shredded week and maybe on a Friday they will have a treat cereal of cocoa pops or something.
A standard lunch at home has no treats, then maybe half the week they will have fruit or nuts and cucumber for an afternoon snack and the other half it’ll be something like a little kid bag of cookies.
Dinner is healthy, usually they don’t finish what I consider a small portion so I don’t offer anything after, if they eat it all occasionally they might have a yoghurt or custard. It’s probably not on the same day as the cookies but I’m not particularly strict on it.
They will probably have a cake or something from a bakery on a sat/sun morning in a coffee shop and chocolate one of the evenings.

But then if we are at a party or something I won’t restrict what they have at all.