How strict are you with toddler sweet treats, and how to cut back?

[Alibali22]

I think Mother’s Day has brought this to the forefront of my mind, thinking about what makes you a good mum etc.
I think I’ve kind of f up when it comes to my toddler and her diet.
I was pretty strict on sugar until she was 2 then a family holiday relaxed me and over a year later I’ve gone too much the other way and now I think they are actually addicted to sugar.
I’ve used sweet treats as a bride or a reward and that has definitely not helped either, now saying no causes an upset.
I actually wake up some days and think right today no sweets, ice lollies, cakes and then I just give in.
How strict are others with sweet treats? And any healthy alternatives? Or anyone been in the same situation and managed to change?
my reasons for changing are obviously health and her teeth.

LOL at mango being a special treat, and an exotic fruit. You can get one for less than a pound at any supermarket.

Dried apricots and raisins are the worst shit for teeth that you can give your children. Even worse than chocolate and many sweets. Ask any dentist. They stick to the teeth, and cause cavities. The advice from people sometimes!

Very strict tbh she’s 2.5 and has had a spoonful
of ice cream a couple of times wasn’t bothered by it do I haven’t pushed it. She wanted to try and cousins chocolate button didn’t like it and that’s it really . I don’t want to make a big deal of them so each time she’s asked to try I’ve let her but it’s been rare and she hasn’t liked it. I think I’m just lucky she doesn’t have a sweet tooth

I tend to homemake my sweet treats for the children’s snack or dessert. I ask chat gpt for easy recipes including what I have in the cupboards/ fridge. This week we had a chocolate courgette cake with a homemade Nutella topping (dates, powdered hazelnuts, cocoa powder and milk) it’s really delicious although probably quite savoury tasting without the topping. I also just offer cashew nuts or something similar if they ever ask for snack at other times.
My husband has a totally different take on things so I’m pretty strict.

Of course a mango is an exotic fruit.
£1 for a snack from the supermarket that you still need to prepare and only has about 2 portions is decently expensive per serving. What a weird comment.

No sweet bribes. Only occasionally did mine have sweets. As a treat. Ditto icecream. You could offer a sweet at a certain time to celebrate the week if it’s been a good one.

Birthdays, holidays, Christmas I don't worry about.
But for everyday, I just don't buy things I don't want my children to eat.
So no chocolate/sugar cereals.
No packaged snacks.
I don't buy cake bars or biscuits.
No fruit sweets.

They still have sweet stuff like greek yogurt, fruit, malt loaf sometimes for a snack.

If anyone starts the day with empty carbs (sugary cereal & white toast in particular) you are setting them up to crave sugar all day.

having protein for breakfast is not an 'out there' concept if you are in anyway interested in nutrition.

you can have whatever opinion you want, but to call someone else's post ridiculous is just rude.

Parties, birthdays, holidays and meals out then they can have whatever but I don’t have ice lollies or sweets in the house. There’s absolutely no need. Cake it depends- I personally think something a plain madeleine cake as a snack is fine so long as it isn’t more than once a day.

If you need rewards/bribery then I’d personally do a sticker chart and if they get 10 they can choose a toy or something like that.

Mango is 100% a special treat in the fruit world. £1 is loads compared to an apple or banana.

You can get 4 portions out of one — combine it with other fruit. Nobody is saying everybody in the family has to devour a whole one.

It is a bit ridiculous to suggest that a 3yo should not be having carbs at breakfast as if they’re on the Atkins diet. They should be eating balanced meals, not eliminating entire food types.

I think healthy swaps are your best bet, OP. Mine both have a very sweet tooth but we try to do apple rice cakes, oatcakes with spreaded cheese and a little bit of honey, dried fruit snacks instead of chocolate, sugar free peanut butter and plain popcorn instead of sweet etc. I rue the day I gave my eldest her first Freddo! But you can get them onto healthier alternatives.

The only way I manage is not having any sweets or chocolate in the house (that the kids can find) and eating chocolate in secret / when the kids are in bed. Ours will larder raid at any chance they have but it gets less fun if all they can find is flour or rice cakes. And whilst we only have milk and water and no ultra processed snacks (eg I take peanut butter sandwiches before an after school club) they will go absolutely mad for juice / crisps / chocolate if given the chance at a party so I don’t agree with the poster before who said that they had somehow managed to stop their children wanting the stuff.
Mine are only allowed overnight oats / porridge or weetabix for breakfast. I try and make stuff myself when I can as I’ve noticed that so much of the cheaper products (especially the Aldi dupe) are just full of sugar. They used to ask for the more sugary cereal but have now just got over it.

My DS is 3 (4 in June, rather than just turned 3 like yours). Monday-Thursday he doesn’t usually have sweets. We have fruit after dinner sometimes, a melon, a pineapple etc and he always has fruit with his lunch. On a Friday if he listens in his swimming lesson he can choose a packet of sweets.

Usually I made pudding on a Saturday. Sometimes we will take a walk up to the local farm shop and let them choose a cake on a Sunday afternoon.

This weekend they had cake twice yesterday at an event and then for the afternoon tea we did for my mum, and then cake this afternoon after dinner as they wanted to do a Mother’s Day dinner. So more than usual but it’s not every day.

I realised you also asked for advice on how to cut back. I’ve definitely been in a place where they are having more sugar than I would like. The easiest thing you can do is not buy the sugary snacks. We don’t keep ice lollies in the house unless it’s the height of summer. As I mentioned we have a dessert on a Saturday and I get them involved with making or choosing it. My 3yo loves making carrot cake, banana bread, banoffee pie (but we do buy the toffee part as toddlers and hot sugar don’t mix).

I have lots of fruit and veg in they can choose, 8yo loves carrots. I do keep on cheese crackers, oat cakes as you do need snacks you can shove in a bag sometimes. DS3 often just asks for cheese. I also keep prunes in for DS3 and they will choose these sometimes. DS3 in particular is a monster for snacks but I do limit these as otherwise he doesn’t eat meals.

A very different approach here tbh.

Being honest, we aren't strict and have never been. If they want a biscuit or chocolate or sweets, then they have them and have done since toddlers. One of them has appetite issues and her dietician encourages cake etc as we need to get calories in.

Because it's never been forbidden, they weren't that bothered. At Christmas we have a chocolate buffet which they've been allowed to help themselves from since they could walk, but rarely eat more than the occasional could of smarties. They are far better at this than me 😂. They go through fruit phases but the one without appetite issues is as happy with a bowl of fruit as biscuits.

One is underweight and the other about 40th centile for weight and quite tall. No issues with teeth.

I'm not saying our approach is right or wrong, more that it works for us. I've had visitors friends sneakily stuff their pockets with biscuits from our house because they are very restricted. Mine still have Easter chocolate from last year because they don't bother much with it.

My children are 5, 3 and 1. I’m quite uptight about food/nutrition and have had to work hard to relax a little bit for fear of creating issues! I wouldn’t allow any of them to have sweets at any point - although I think a couple have got past the eldest at birthday parties. Big one would be allowed a biscuit or a piece of cake at a birthday party, though if I’m honest I have to sit on my hands a bit when the party rings are brought out. Middle one would be allowed a small bit of homemade cake but not chocolate or ice cream yet.

Ideas for alternatives:
Get some ice lolly makers and do frozen Greek yoghurt mixed with berries or cooked apple
Peel and freeze bananas and then blend with a spoonful of nut butter and a splash of milk
Mix Greek yoghurt with frozen berries before serving a meal, and it kind of makes ice cream for desert
Flapjack with oats, nuts, blended banana

I was strict until nursery and school…who give puddings after every meal.

I also feel that they’ll just got mad on it when they’re older and start secret eating if you make too big of a deal out of it.

DC will have a croissant/cereal/porridge/yoghurt for breakfast with a fruit salad.

Fruit snack, even if it’s those bears paws things.

Lunch is at school, or it will be a sandwich with a few crisps (not a bag and reduced salt), crudités and fresh fruit followed by a soreen/bun/yoghurt.

Tea will be whatever we’re having followed but a pudding. This can even just be a biscuit.

Most families I know are like this or less strict but this thread makes me doubt it now. DC is 6 for reference.

Cut down on the sweets treats and start to introduce slices of fruit, apples oranges , bananas etc.

Replace the ice cream with thick low fat yogurt

Weetabix and buttered toast is a perfectly normal breakfast for any child or adult. You are letting perfect be the enemy of good.

I think it's tough when it is others offering the treat who mean well and wish to spoil but if it's everyday then it's not good to normalise it. I am a sucker for a sweet treat though. I think it's a case of explaining and being firm with your relatives which can be difficult or hiding it away to have another time. Also I'm not sure how healthy dried fruit is, apparently it is full of sugar.

Keep the quantities small.
My two got a little container with 4 jelly babies in it, or 4 malteasers, or 5 haribo, - a few days, after dinner.
Never a packet of sweets or a bar of chocolate (except a Freddo, at a party)
More often than not, they got crusty rolls or strawberries.
Cut up cheese, and fruits, and don’t bring sweets into the house, then they can’t have them.
Avoid going near sweet shops.
It is possible to retrain - you have total control of what they eat.

I’d cut out sugary foods entirely. To help her stay full longer, start the day with protein—eggs, salmon, or similar options are great. For snacks, try vegetables with a dollop of butter, or fresh-cut veggies and salads. Other choices are avocado, cherry tomatoes, porridge, greek yogurt, cheese and whole-grain/sourdough bread. Once she’s a bit older, nuts and seeds like almonds, walnuts, pecans, and cashews are good. For fruit, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries are the best options, though you should rotate in other fruits to ensure she gets a wide variety of nutrients. Mine ate pretty much what I ate for snacks, and still has pretty much the same habits.

It might be 'perfectly normal' but that doesn't make it healthy & it is not in the least bit helpful if you're trying to reduce the sugar cravings. This wee girl is (understandably) about to get her sugar hits removed. The least you can do is give her a good protein start to the day to help reduce her cravings.

suggesting protein for breakfast is hardly difficult or unattainable

It doesn't make it UNHEALTHY either. I mean Weetabix, seriously?! That's the level of pettiness we're getting at now?

No child is craving sugar because they eat Weetabix for breakfast.

you can be as defensive as you like, it doesn't make you right.

protein & healthy fats are a far better way to start the day.

im not interested in going back & forth on this, so will not be replying to you again.