We don't celebrate mother's day.

[Hopthegoodgod]

We have one son who is 30 and I have never encouraged him to celebrate Mothers Day. I believe that love and respect for family members should be celebrated everyday. Plus over the years I have seen Mothering Sunday turn into a commercial racket. Both my husband and I have a great relationship with our son and when he was little and made me a handmade card at school , I always thanked him and praised his 'artwork'. But that's as far as it went. I have a wonderful mother who also instilled in us to celebrate and respect one another daily. She also shunned it once we were old enough to understand. However, I am increasibly aware that those around us think its strange. Does anyone else out there think Mother's Day is just a forced con?

Seems abit joyless. Surely it’s nice to have day where mothers are appreciated? Doesn’t need to be a big cost really.

It's fine OP. Some people celebrate it, others don't. Just make your own decision that you're happy with and don't worry about what other people do.

No. Over commercialised like everything these days, but not a con.
You do you, as they say, but leave others to enjoy Mother’s Day if they wish.

I think when DD is 30, I’d love a happy mothers day message but beyond that no I wouldn’t expect much, by then I would hope my job is done and she’s flown the nest and is happily looking after herself. i do agree with you that respect, love and acknowledgment should be the baseline of your relationship.

Me!
I have 3 wonderful DC and a wonderful DM and like to think we all show each other love every day.

My DC insist on buying me flowers and getting me nice cards but that’s as far as it goes. We don’t do anything else on the day and feel no need to. It’s just not something I feel is important to me. I’d rather they just said on a random day in November….”Mum, do you fancy going for lunch?” I’d much rather feel that they wanted to spend time with me than felt they had to just because it’s Mother’s Day.

Obviously I completely accept the importance to some people and understand that for some Mum’s it may be the only day of the year they get made a fuss of.

I think it should be more like fathers day, something simple to mark it but no more. Reading some people's dilemmas on who goes where and spends time with who and who got it last year makes it sound a joy suck worse than Christmas.

Hi Op We have it low key in our house , flowers only which I think the children enjoy buying. Means I feel appreciated whilst not a big deal.Also depends what happens on Father’s Day(if dad is around).
If nothing I think it’s fine to stay as you are but if Father’s Day is celebrated you run the risk of sending a message that women are not as important as men in the family.

We don't either. Or Father's Day. But there's a lot of thingd we don't celebrate. My birthday just went by, so I get presents and a fuss for that.

I tend to find those who discourage celebrating on a particular day often do not, in fact, celebrate every day.
I also don’t even understand that logic, we gift things at Christmas do make it a special occasion, and celebrate birthdays so should be not do that and instead it’s a daily thing or nothing?

My kids make a big effort with DH for Mother’s Day. My DD draws loads and loads of pictures outside of school and hides them in her room, excitedly asking if it’s Mother’s Day yet in the run up.

I go out of my way to make holidays social for my family and I love that they enjoy and get the same satisfaction in returning the effort for something like Mother’s Day, even as little children.

I think it’s a bit sad if an adult child can’t make a little bit of effort for their mother on Mother’s Day. A sign of appreciation takes more effort than money and it’s just lazy not to imo.

I’m also not sure why people are always desperate to twist themselves in knots and infer those who celebrate Mother’s Day are not appreciated throughout the year.

We never celebrated it growing up because my mum hated the pressure her mum put on her about it. So to me it’s a totally alien concept. I find it really hard because people don’t seem to understand this. My kids have no other mum, I’m the only one. So all the ‘best mum ever’ stuff is meaningless to me. My kids are older now, youngest is in yr6 this year and has complex needs. He will have created something for me at school which I will graciously receive. But I’d prefer them not to have any pressure to thank me at all. I chose to have them, it’s my privilege to be in their lives.

Father’s Day on the other hand… I’m sole parent to my children (no contact order) so I’m happy to take Father’s Day!

I love and respect and "celebrate" my husband and son daily but that doesn't mean birthdays and making a fuss of them is a "con".

Mother's day - or rather Mothering Sunday as it was originally - has definitely lost its way. It was a traditionally a time for young women working service to go home to their mothering church to be cared for but it became confused with the American Mothers Day and then commercialised beyond recognition.

But we celebrate quietly regardless. A day out of my choosing during the week (when places are cheaper and quieter) for some quality time, a token present, and DH will cook a meal of my choosing.

Noone will force you to celebrate, OP, but that doesn't mean those who do are doing anything wrong.

I don't see much change with Mother's Day over the years, unlike Halloween, which seems to have become hugely hyped and a massive event.
When DC were young I'd receive flowers and a card from each and we'd go out for a family meal.
DC1 is now aged 30. It's his wife's Birthday today, so they've gone away. DC3 will be home for Easter (from university) next week. I told her not to do a nine hour round trip for a few hours.
There'll be flowers and a card from each today (the two who aren't here had them delivered yesterday). I'll have a meal out with DC2 and DH today, but we'll celebrate it altogether during the Easter break.
As a family we celebrate each other all the time too, but I'd no more stop celebrating Mother's Day than Christmas or one of their Birthdays.

I only know Mother’s Day is coming around each year because my kids bring home cards they’ve been told to make in school.

I end up Googling the date so I can message my own mother with something along the lines of “Cheers for raising me, I’ll send you £5 for a glass of wine”

It’s a load of crap designed to get you to spend a fortune on junk.

I really enjoy it, it was a difficult day for me growing up so now with two little ones my partner goes out of his way to make it a really special day, and I do the same for Father’s Day. My partner has organised flowers, a Moonpig card and some presents for me, we’re going out for brunch this morning and then I’m doing a steak dinner for everyone this evening. It’ll be a lovely day and different to our usual Sunday so I just think “why not”!

I love it! I'm excitedly waiting in bed for my breakfast which my 11 year old is making. I don't really see it as particularly commercialised although that's optional anyway.

I think it depends on what "doing" mothers day means and I agree with others that, in an unhappy relationship it becomes the issue ie a lack of thought on the day, when it's not, it's a symptom of the relationship and a thoughtless partner but is brought into focus on the day.

I will get a card - no fuss but that's fine as I am not resentful generally or with a horrible partner so i am not looking for today to make amends for that.

As for kids learning to buy stuff and be thoughtful, I read somewhere that they don't learn about how things should be on a birthday/Mothers day from being taught to get a card etc but more from how the person being celebrated treats themselves. So if you say you don't want a fuss and it's all stupid that is what they learn is right. Thought that was an interesting angle.

We don't celebrate Hallmark Days mainly because it feels quite commercial and a lot of effort to me and I'm happier ignoring them. Given a choice I'd happily forego Christmas too but the pressure is too high with the kids. If other people want to, though, I think that's lovely for them. I'm not sure why we need a post judging people for celebrating something that's important to them?

I couldn't even tell you when Father's Day is. That is def a fairly recent thing from the States, no doubt. I am 60 yrs old and certainly don't remember it being a thing when I was young.

We have a small family run local post office who rely on these “hallmark” days. Am happy to get cards etc from them as it directly supports their business.

Thank you, OP.

My mother also didn't do Mothers' Day on the basis that we should love and care for her every day, rather than on one particular day so that card shops and florists can make more money. This was back in the 70s when it was less commercialised than it is now!

I don't do it either.

Unlike a pp, I do know when it is, but that's because I'm a Christian and know that the fourth Sunday of Lent is Mothering Sunday. That was a traditional holiday when young women and men who were in service went home and went with with their family to their mother church. It actually has nothing to do with mothers - Mothers' Day as it has turned into is a more recent American invention.

I must admit I do find myself darkly entertained by all the posts on MN around this time with people falling out with family because they didn't do Mothers' Day to their satisfaction! But I'm sure most people will have a lovely day, with flowers and cakes and smiles!

Yes, I'm late 50s and I don't remember Fathers' Day when I was very young. Maybe it appeared in the late 80s/early 90s.

Father's day was celebrated in the UK before America and started after World War 2.

Edited to add my apologies, just googled it as that's what our teacher told us in secondary and is infact incorrect. It was American first and began after an accident over there killed people.

Why on earth would it be either or? It is perfectly possible to be nice and respectful to people every day AND do something extra nice for them on a particular day as well. Do you apply the same attitude to birthdays, or are they ok because they aren't <shudder> American? I don't make a big fuss about mothers' day. I send my mum a nice bouquet of flowers and phone her. I don't see her often, because she lives a long way from me.

We are not huge on mother's /father's or valentines days. We may give a card or some flowers. Hate the cliché chocolates. We do go all out for family birthdays though and as they're a few of us, that's more than enough celebrations over the year.

I'm 47 and I think I did do father's day - I have memory of buying my dad a chocolate bar with my own money and being very pleased with myself. This would have been mid/late 80s I expect so you may be right.