What do most Year 7s do after school and at weekends?

[ZanyGoldFish]

This thread is probably going to sound so lame but I just don’t know where else to get some advice from.

What do 11/12 year olds get up to after school? Do they chat to their friends every night after school and also meet up on a weekend?

So my DS started year 7 in September with a great group of friends, who he went all through primary with. He is also friends with lots of other kids in his year and is happy, seems confident and doing well at school.
For years now, probably about 5, as soon as he came in from school he would be straight on the phone to these friends, sometimes one - sometimes more and they would chat and game for most of the night.
Since starting high school, it’s all kind of dwindled away…it’s gone quiet, no one seems to ring or text him to play and he now comes in and either just sits on his phone or is doing some homework and when I ask him if he’s going on his PS or maybe playing out, he’s just like no. I feel like he doesn’t seem to want to make an effort with anyone. I’ve asked him if everything is ok and if they are all still friends and he says yes there’s no problems.
I’m worried that he’s not putting himself out there to speak to anyone and not getting involved. Logically, I know I’m probably totally over thinking all of it but I keep thinking it’s coming up to the holidays again and he’s not going to be speaking/meeting up with any of his friends.

I’m curious to know what other kids this age do? Am I just so used to him being on call to his friends and now actually they are a bit older and school is harder so they can’t be bothered when they get home?

So, if I understand this correctly, your year two, a six year old child, was… on his phone, gaming? For most of the night?
lol, what on earth?

Sports. Scouts. Walk the dog. Homework.

Not scrolling mindlessly that’s for sure. Maybe a bit of that for half an hour but no more.

@whyyyyyisitmonddayy To be fair I made it sound like all night, when he was younger they used to chat on the PS but only until like 6pm, then it was bath and bed. It’s only been on his phone in the last maybe 2 years and when I say night I mean until like 8pm.

My DD is the same, the phone calls to friends and going out also dwindled, would be interesting to see if same is happening to others DC’s so will be watching with interest

My daughter is in Y7 and whilst she has activities like dance and guides 2/3 nights a week I just let her chill on the others as she is wrecked! She watches TV, does some art or coloring type stuff or reads. Plays on her phone a bit, homework, music practice. I also think they are still settling down and finding friendship groups so I wouldn't worry too much.

@TwinklyRoseTurtle phew! Thank you! Reading your message has made me think I’m not totally overthinking x

DD is straight out after school to hang out with her pals unless it’s a night with extra curriculars in which case she’s on the phone to them until it’s time to go out.

and yes meet ups at the weekend.

DS has adhd and struggles socially and doesn’t interact much with friends outwith school but does go to extra curriculars

@clareykb That’s what I’m thinking, he works hard at school so maybe needs to decompress when he comes home. He’s an only child as well so I don’t know if that is another thing.

Still very poor form to let a six year old child play on a PS every / most evenings.
really ridiculous

My 11 year old now has a longer commute to school and hasn’t had much free time in the evening it’s usually spent doing homework showering/doing her hair and enjoying her hobbies, reading, crochet & music she messages friends but they only meet up during holidays from school

@whyyyyyisitmonddayy thanks for your lovely words of support! Out of all that I wrote, I’m glad you picked up on that! Really ridiculous😀

The kid is y7 so 11/12.

If you look at the OG post / follow ups OP says her child has had a PS for five years and a phone for two.

OP clearly says Y7 and 11/12 year old on the first post...

My DS was exactly the same in Y7. I worried a lot. Now in y8, he’s started to go out a little bit more, go to a pal’s house after school sometimes etc. Not loads, but enough to reassure me he’s not a hermit! He has also started doing a sport with his dad which he is really into, and he likes watching telly with me. I think altho they are growing up, they still want to be around their parent/s a lot at this young age.

So mine does sports from 4:30-9pm three nights a week after school. She sees friends there. She may go over to a friend’s house one day after school. On the weekends, we mostly do things as a family, but sometimes she’ll have a sleepover.

She does sometimes chat with her friends, but from checking her messages, I get the sense that friends aren’t often on their phones or aren’t responding. I assume if she’s doing sports 3 afternoons and evenings a week, others must also be off doing things. So they chat, but not necessarily in real time. We also have 3 nights of homework to do too.

She can’t really meet up with anyone without us driving her as we live rurally and not in walking distance of anything. Usually I’m quite happy to drive her places though.

@whyyyyyisitmonddayy judgy much?
so all you’ve taken from my post is that all he’s ever done is been on a PLAYSTATION. Didn’t realise I needed to go into that much detail. Yes he has a PlayStation, has done since he was about 5 actually but that doesn’t mean that is all he’s ever done! Jesus 🙄

Same for my son in Y7. He's now in Y8 and on the phone to all his mates who are in the same game as him. They pile into his room on a weekend. He meets them in town. A couple of them stay overnight here and there...

Y7 is a massive watershed year and you don't really appreciate it until you can look back on it.

Mine aren’t allowed to game on a school night and have quite limited phone use, so after school at Y7 has generally been library, homework, TV until dinner, then he spends time with us (after we’ve finished work) we do watch a lot of tv though, we’re not saints lol. As it’s getting lighter in the evenings he’s spending a bit more time outdoors again.

Maybe if the majority of his interactions - since he was 6 - have been online / via the Ps5 then he’s not very good as real life interactions and may be struggling?

My year 7 ds does piano one evening, science club one evening and trampolining club one evening. Sometimes he will go to chess club. He does his homework and watches videos on YouTube, either other people playing minecraft or cat videos.

Forgot to add he doesn't have a phone.

My 12 year old is the same, no talking with friends or going out 😢

my 7 year old and 10 year old are constantly talking online or FaceTiming friends, but my eldest seems to have no one and it really worries me 😢 she says she has friends, but she never seems to talk to them or see them outside of school

Choir, drama, piano, art class, homework, crafts, reading, yes a bit of being on the phone with friends too. Probably constantly on the phone on the bus.