Using holiday clubs whilst I am off work

[theemeraldcandle]

Some background: I work full time in a busy, high pressured job. Mum to four year old twin boys who are going through a very challenging time at the moment, think terrible sleeping, constant fighting, not listening etc. Their Dad sees them every other weekend only, no contact in between. I have some support from family but nobody will have them overnight or out of my house.

Easter half term is approaching, I have some annual leave to use up and will be taking the first week off work.

I use a holiday club during some school holidays and I’ve been offered some dates to put them in on the week I am off work. I’m tempted to book them in 😭 they are so incredibly challenging at the moment. In the house they’re destructive, don’t listen, either play like maniacs or constantly play fighting (which always ends in tears). If I take them out it nearly always ends in tantrums or one of them running off.

I’m totally burnt out from lack of sleep, work stress, lack of doing anything but being Mum and working.

Would I be unreasonable to put them into holiday club even though I’m using annual leave?

As I type, it’s 7:15am, they’ve been up since 5am and also woke at 1am and are currently screaming and rough playing despite me asking them 50,000 times not to

Do it and don’t think twice about it! They’ll enjoy it as well.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to use the annual leave during normal term time rather than when they’re off? Then they can just go to school rather than needing to pay for additional care?

@ClefableI mentioned the idea to my Mum and she said it was horrible that I wasn’t wanting to spend time with them and it made me feel terrible. Despite never having had them herself overnight, she does help but that always means coming here whilst I am home- so never actually a proper break.
Ive a full day of work ahead including 3 hours of travel and I can barely think straight 😔

But you’re right they love the holiday club and I’m sure would be happy there for a few hours a day.

I have to use my annual leave before the end of March. @goz

Of course you’re not unreasonable!! They’ll have so much fun with their friends, and come home to a chilled mum. Honestly don’t give it another thought!!

God do it

Good god
do it
you need some time to regroup and look after yourself

But I would put them in for more than a few hours a day or it wouldn’t be worth it (reading your update). Don’t listen to your mum, do you usually take parenting advice from her? I have no idea why others try and make people feel guilty like this. I think it stems from jealousy to be honest.

Absolutely do it. I’m a teacher and mine have always carried on going to nursery for a couple of days a week during the holidays!

Your mum has NO right to imply you’re terrible for wanting to do it

Of course put them in holiday club.

Did your mum work when you were 4? Have support? Have twin boys?

If your mum comments, tell her she is welcome to take them both out but she can’t look after them at yours because you need a break. If she’s not prepared to take them out for a day, then she knows it’s hard an shouldn’t be guilting you into not getting a break.

I’d meet in the middle and alternate having time with just one, actually.

Also depends if they enjoy the holiday club. I sent ds to one, morning only, the first day of half term but he hated it.

@LameBorzoiNo she didn’t work. Had more support (My Dad and more friends with children similar ages so they’d meet in groups and share the load) and no twin boys.

@navigatingthestarsConsidered this. But they really hate being apart (will get used to this in September when they go into different classes at school) and I can only imagine the kick offs that would occur when I have to drop one off at holiday club and drive off with the other.

Right! Then in that case go for it, you need a break sometimes. You’ll be able to collect them and make the afternoon more fun for them after having a bit of them to yourself.

I put my 5yo in for half day football club for a lot of the days of the holiday even though I'm a teacher. It's outdoors.

The kids all seem to really love it, three hours straight of football in the morning, and that sets the routine for the day.

After I pickup, it's lunchtime, and then I don't feel pressure to do something active or outdoorsy because she's already had three hours of that.

She much prefers football club to the more general holiday clubs where there's always a bit of sitting around doing basic arts and crafts and getting bored.

@navigatingthestarsThey love the holiday club, have been going there for a while now during school holidays. Ironically behave really well there, I suspect due to it being a different environment and surrounded by some older children

I think you’re thinking if it too much as sending them to childcare while you’re off. Think of it as they’re heading off to camp/ school/ the other fun places kids actually enjoy going to on holidays!

If they love it and are well behaved there, it's a no brainer, get it booked!

First post nails it

emjoy.

Absolutely do it! You need a break as well and they will have fun!

Yanbu at all, but I’m assuming you can’t take any of the next two weeks off instead? I do think it’s a bit bonkers taking holiday time off when you could just have a breather while they’re at preschool? Surely they’d be going to the club in the holidays if you were working?

Do it. You need the break to recharge, you sound burnt out. Ignore your mum. I find people have very rose tinted glasses when they remember child rearing. I’m sorry you don’t have much support, the dad only sees them every other weekend? Is that due to distance or is he not bothered?

@ZippidydoodahUnfortunately not: every day at work is back to back meetings which I cannot change!