Sad my baby will already have 2 smaller cousins

[maria199]

My baby was born in October and when she was born my sister was around 2 months pregnant. My baby is now 4 months old and we have just found out that my husband’s brother & partner are expecting at the end of the year. I am obviously extremely excited and happy for everyone and I can’t wait to be an auntie again, but it has weirdly left me feeling irrational feelings of sadness that my baby will not be the littlest one now on both sides of the family.

My husband does have a nephew but he is 10 and I have a niece but she is 8, so my daughter was the first baby on both sides in a long time. I suppose I just feel a little sad that she will not get any time on her own as such as on both sides of the family there will be little cousins.

I know this is completely irrational and I am surprised at myself for feeling this way, but I can’t help it. I don’t know if it’s postpartum hormones, I am still breastfeeding etc. I just wondered if any other mums had weird, irrational feelings like this when their babies were young?

Before people attack me because it seems to happen on here, I am genuinely so happy for both my sister & my husband’s brother (and partners). I am excited that my daughter will have cousins and hopefully friends for life, and I expect she will relish in being the older one! I know that people can have babies whenever they like and it is nothing to do with me, I am just expressing some feeling that has made me surprised and looking for possible comfort that I am not a horrible person or weird and that other mums have had similar things!

It will end up being a good thing growing up with lots of cousins around your own age is such a blessing

Try to realise that these feelings are not for your baby – they are for YOU. Your baby will not know any other way and they will not experience this as you are nor have any negatives about it.

In reality, your baby will only experience positives. My twins are part of a cousin set of 4, all born very close to each other. They are the absolute best of friends. As someone who grew up as the youngest cousin on both sides, with my closest cousin in age 7 years old older than me, I can’t tell you how happy I am for my two to have what I didn’t. Growing up as the youngest, with no family kids my age sucked.

Maybe there is some primal urge that sees other young babies as a threat to our own, if resources are scarce? Regardless, you are obviously not alone in your irrationality. As a grandmother, I can promise you that the only thing better than one new grandbaby is two new grandbabies - even if my family won't let me get a double buggy!

Honestly, please get a grip. You are being ridiculous.

My sil was like you when I announced my pregnancy while her youngest was a baby. She felt that due to his prematurity and various other issues he ‘deserved’ to be the baby of the family for a few more years and I was selfish not to plan our pregnancy for after he was 2 years old lol. Provided you don’t start bullying the younger kids like she bullied my kids you’ll be fine. I think you just need a bit of a break - go on holiday if possible

I am STILL salty about the fact that I never got to be the only pregnant one in the families! My ex's brother and wife had their children at almost exactly the same time as my older two, and then MY brother and his wife had their elder three at the same times as I had my younger ones.

And my youngest is 30.

But once the children are older it really does stop mattering.