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Original poster

Two year old DD doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep and I’m losing my mind

57 replies

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 07:54

I’m in a very low place at the moment so please don’t reply with those robust MN pep talks as they won’t help me just now.

DD is two (and eight months) and I feel like I’m doing an absolutely shite job. She doesn’t eat, at all. She refuses breakfast most days, doesn’t matter what you offer her. She may (or may not) eat half a banana mid morning as a snack. For lunch, if it’s one particular thing she’ll eat it, if not, she won’t. And then refuses dinner.

Sleep is shocking; she went to sleep at quarter past nine last night and was up at 515. It isn’t generally this bad to be fair, but she does wake constantly through the night, it’s absolutely doing my head in and making me tired and snappy and angry. I’m so frustrated with lack of sleep, it feels like I have a newborn. I’ve tried sleep training but it didn’t seem to work (it did with her sibling) please don’t suggest co sleeping, it’s just no sleeping for anyone, she dicks about all night and windmills and thrashes.

Obviously her behaviour isn’t very nice probably because she’s tired and hungry.

OP posts:

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Original poster

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 11:53

Definitely not for the finances for a night nanny, unfortunately. I’m not sure medication of any sort is the answer really. From what I’ve read with melatonin it helps getting children to sleep which isn’t a problem with DD generally, it’s more the endless wake ups that are a problem.

She has just had a decent lunch to be fair to her but she probably won’t eat anything else today and I’m honestly not exaggerating there.

OP posts:

EwwPeople · 07/03/2026 12:13

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 11:20

Thank you. I do appreciate the answers as I really am in a dark place at the moment. For the record she’s eaten absolutely nothing yet today, seems fine in herself though. It doesn’t sound harsh to say she’ll eat when she’s hungry but I think she gets to the point where she’s beyond hungry, she will literally go hours and hours without eating anything. So today for instance she’s been up for six hours and hasn’t eaten a thing.

I don’t think I care any more. I think I’ve stopped liking her much, maybe it’s tiredness talking. I don’t know. I feel like if she wasted away it would be a bit of a blessing as I do honestly regret having her so much.

What really helped with DD was routine as much as possible around mealtimes. Breakfast, lunch, dinner at the same time (for a few years). We sit down to eat. Even if she just nibbled or pushed the food around. Just to build that habit and routine. In time, her body did start to finally recognise hunger around those times.

Original poster

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 12:15

Out of interest, what do you think we have been doing?

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gamerchick · 07/03/2026 12:23

NorthernishLass · 07/03/2026 08:25

This may sound harsh but kids will eat if they are hungry.

I know it's hard but I think you need to break this cycle of always giving her the food she likes. Mix it up a bit and if she refuses to eat it, throw it away and say nothing.

She won't starve herself. Seriously!

Maybe try adding one new food with the regular stuff and keep doing that.

Are you eating the same things? At the same time?
You didn't answer that question.

Show quote history

Try saying that to any parent who's kid has ARFID.

They will absolutely starve themselves to death.

Rach247 · 07/03/2026 12:25

@Doingshite you have all my sympathies. I know exactly what this is like - the (not) eating and the (not) sleeping. I found magnesium gummies have helped with constant wake ups, hopefully linked below.

amzn.eu/d/0dC02GMR

PurpleGreenO · 07/03/2026 12:55

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 08:24

They won’t @NorthernishLass ; they say they can’t stop her from sleeping. There is no way at all she’s just taking herself off to nap but I am not there so I can’t really do much. In any event it doesn’t make a difference. The nap problem is that it takes her ages to go to sleep on nursery days but I can live with that twice a week. It’s the waking through the night I hate.

This is very annoying! My son was like this at this age, stopped naps very early. Nursery were still putting him down and we just couldn't get him to sleep on those days. We asked them to stop, and they would take him to the room for the older children while others were napping. Im sorry yours won't do this for you. Have you spoken to them about how hard it is making things at home?

EwwPeople · 07/03/2026 13:46

Doingshite · 07/03/2026 12:15

Out of interest, what do you think we have been doing?

I don’t know. Due to DD’s issues I met a few parents who had similar issues and we were all doing various things, had been given different advice. Some waited for their child to actually ask for food (the idea being that they will be hungry and will eat) , some just offered snacks rather than full meals throughout the day, there would always be fruit, cheese, toast , something out for the child and they’d pick something up whenever , some did 3 meals at set times likeI did, some did a mix of meals and snacks throughout the day.

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