Are you given much on Mothering Sunday / Mother's Day?

[52inJan]

Just doing some research / being nosy!

What do you get given for Mother's Day, if anything, and how old are the DC and does your partner organise it for them?

Card and flowers

I think flowers chocs or something small is appropriate and full on gifts are consumerism gone mad.

Mine are small so love arts and crafts, they’re always drawing for me in the lead up to Mother’s Day and hiding it.
I get flowers from DH and a lovely token gift, children’s birthstone necklace, on my first Mother’s Day he got me a dried floral arrangement so I could keep my first ever Mother’s Day flowers which was very sweet.
Then the day is a bit like ‘mummy’s favourite things’ so DH will nip to get me my favourite coffee, I’ll request a breakfast I know the kids actually love, we’ll go for a nice walk on the beach, cook food together and generally spend the day making it a little nicer than an ordinary day.

Honestly I don’t get the people who shit all over those who partake in Mother’s Day, it just comes across miserly.

I will get a card and gift and husband is making an afternoon tea at home and then we are going out in the evening with our DD

How does the child ever become aware of it unless it’s behaviour modelled to them though?

I made it clear to DH when DD was born that I want to keep Mother's Day simple. I don't need to be Queen for a Day.

He helped her make me a card and buy some tulips. Now she's an adult she usually works MD so we go out for coffee and cake the day/week before ... and tulips!

My mum died when I was a child so MD is bittersweet for me.

My three "kids" all adults now, aged between 30 and 23. They usually do get me something even though I am not particularly big on Mother's Day. Just maybe a card, or going out for coffee and cake. I send my own elderly mother a nice card and maybe a potted plant and give her a call.

I must say that this year I had virtually forgotten about Mother's Day due to difficult personal circumstances but will get stuff sorted for my own mum. I don't think I really care about it anymore for me but it will be nice to see my DDs and whatever they do decide to do will be lovely.

It isn't though. According to the BBC in the UK in the 16th century it used to be that you returned to your Mother church if you had moved away for work. Children as young as 10 used to go into paid employment. They would return to their "Mother Church" which was typically the church in the place you were born and usually where your parents still lived. That meant families coming together and so Mother's Day sprung from that.

The US Mother's Day is a 20th Century thing. Totally different and a Hallmark holiday.

I get lovely cards from my now adult sons, they write what they love about me. I also get some chocolates but everyone shares them and I have no problem with that. Their little faces used to light up at the box of chocolates and it is tradition. They have a calendar reminder they set up so they don't forget it. This year we are moving it to the following Sunday as we collect Ds2 from uni on 21st March so he can be here for Mother's Day.

My DH has always supported DS with Mother’s Day. And I do the same for Father’s Day. It’s important that children are taught to show appreciation on important events like Mother’s Day, birthdays and Christmas.

I never understand the ‘but he’s not your mother’ comments. I’m the mother of his child and it’s part of his job as a dad to teach DS how to treat people and make those we love feel special.

Unfortunately DH will be working away this year but I know he will sort out a gift and card before he leaves. I’ll be joining my friend’s Mother’s Day lunch which will be lovely.

No thank you, I don't want much and don't expect much. It's like Valentine's Day.

Nice to get a card or perhaps a small token gift, maybe a book or something little and useful but hate all the chocolate, flower, restaurant stuff.

I'd much prefer something like 'family' day, where the whole family celebrates being a family. Mother's day to me is twee.

Adult dd sends an appropriate amusing card from Thortful or Redbubble.
I am not a fan of Mothers Day as I would rather be appreciated every day😀
Plus ds is dead so everyone tiptoes around me

I really don’t like gifts and don’t want them (I hate them on Christmas too! Last thing I need is more stuff).

But I do tend to get a few small ones on Mother’s Day that everyone knows I knows I probably won’t be too offended by. Like a candle, chocolates, flowers, a bottle of something alcohol free. Mostly, what I like is people doing nice things for me. I usually get coffee in bed and a nice breakfast (not in bed, that’s grim 😂). Then cards and presents. Then we do something nice and they usually make me lunch. I don’t really want stuff. I just want a nice relaxing day with no one fighting.

Dh mostly organises it, but dc make cards and have some input. They are 8 & 13. We don’t do anything with our mums - I’m NC with mine and Dh and MIL don’t really have that sort of warm relationship either. We’ll send her a card and a WhatsApp message though.

We don't do much for Mother's Day. The dc usually have made some kind of craft at school/nursery, and this year I've bought myself some cosmetics so they can give me that (but I would have bought them anyway). This year I'll be recovering from surgery so I won't want to go out.
I don't make a fuss about Father's Day either to be fair. Generally I don't like receiving chocolate (am dieting) or flowers (too much maintenance) so I prefer to get my own gifts.

I rarely get anything as lone parent and teen DD is autistic. It stresses her out no end having to remember to think about a card or gift beforehand

They get encouraged to hand over the cards they make at nursery and school and pick out from a shop if not once they are old enough to understand what they are doing.

Buying a card and pretending it's from a baby isn't modelling anything.

The kids usually make me a card. And my DH plans a nice meal or something. I usually get asked what I fancy doing so the day gets planned around that

I have a weird relationship with mother's day. My mum used to get heavy reminders from her dad in the weeks leading up to mother's day so that she didn't forget it, and it left her feeling irritated and "got at". Thus, she was never that bothered about it for herself when I was a child, and said so aloud on multiple occasions.

I'm an adult with my own children now, and likewise I don't really care about mother's day. Sometimes my kids make me a card at school, sometimes they don't. It is a completely nothing day to me, and yet I still feel guilty if I forget to get my mum something, because the societal pressure is so huge. My kids love me, I love my mum, she loves her mum. That's true whether or not it's mother's day.

Its very weird to have an issue with someone wanting to celebrate the mother of their children on a day for mothers.

I don't have an issue with it. I just think it's odd. Everyone does things other people find odd.

I would only have had an issue with it if it was done to me. DH heard from the dads' NCT WhatsApp group that some of them were planning this and thought it sounded odd so checked with me if I wanted that. He was correct in that I didn't and would have found it a bit cringey so he didn't.

How do you feel about it in the case of a severely disabled child, as I outlined above? My DS will never have the awareness or ability to buy or make me a Mother’s Day card, so my husband does it. When you parent a disabled child you miss out on all sorts of ‘normal’ things that other parents take for granted, like the first day at school in their uniforms etc, so I think it would be really upsetting for me to never get a Mother’s Day card, even if it is my husband doing the actual work.

I think, like birthdays and Christmas and any other day you should get the celebration you want and I think it's lovely your husband facilitates that. I have everything sympathy for you in a situation of which I have no experience.

Does your husband get Father’s Day presents?

He has done yes - I've instigated it, usually a hand made card or drawing by the kids, only ever something small. My ideal would be a handmade card and daffodils which I just LOVE and epitomise spring Mother's Day to me. I told all three of them yesterday it's what I'd love this year and every year. Let's see! For me it's the demonstrated thought that counts.

Although I love the post listing the random gifts given that the kids actually want (mini drum kit and brain licker sweets ).

Thanks to everyone for sharing

Everyone is completely entitled to their own views on this of course, but for me I don’t feel any embarrassment or guilt over making a big deal of Mother’s Day. My own mom passed away a few years ago and in the years prior to that we’d never even had a relationship. As an adult I absolutely longed for children and was diagnosed with PCOS at 36. Miraculously I went on to have two healthy children at 37 and 39 and so yes, to me Mother’s Day is a really special day because I get to celebrate the fact that I’m a mom and that I am part of a mother and child dynamic, which is different from the day to day grind of taking care of a two year old and 8 month old! My partner on the other hand, has a great relationship with both his parents but mothers and fathers days were never a “thing” in their house growing up, neither were birthdays made a big deal of. Despite this, last Mother’s Day he organised a hamper of all my favourite things, flowers, a Moonpig card and a bbq for us and our oldest (second wasn’t born yet), and it was just a wonderful day because he knows it means something to me. I also make a big fuss over him on Father’s Day despite him not being too fussed about it. It’s something different to look forward to, this year we’re having a lovely brunch out and I can’t wait!

Single parent here to two teen boys.. might get a handmade card 🤷🏼‍♀️ ExH won’t bother and given that he wrapped me a used candle for Christmas it’s probably wise he doesn’t attempt to do anything. I’ll treat myself and give myself a pat on the back. Same for my birthday - days before. After years of nothing I’ve learnt to just buy myself something and appreciate the fact that I can afford to do so.

I completely agree with this and think it’s really lovely that your husband understands this and does it for you and your child