When does it really get easier? It does it ever?

[SwordFishh]

Really when does it get easier? Or maybe it doesn’t till they are adults? Please don’t say when they are at school as they go to school but in some ways it’s actually worse (I mean it is for me anyway) I’m so exhausted and feel like it will only get better when they are grown up which still feels a long way off and sometimes feels like I’m wishing their childhood away.

Yep, OP I 100% agree. I found this era difficult. It will get better. I feel for you.

So is it just the commitment and effort of school runs?

No it’s not it’s just less pressure.

This is a bit like drawing teeth OP.

What is the pressure? No one can begin to offer any advice or even understanding with your reluctance to share what is the actual problem.

I’m not reluctant I would just have to list things because it’s practically everything, school just doesn’t make it easier and actually adds pressure, just wondered if anyone else could relate if you can’t that’s fine.

I find holidays easier - no pressure to be up and sorted, no lunches, homework, costumes, theme days, running around to clubs. I find it a different exhausting - teen needs support/running around/goes to bed later so it’s hard to talk to DH and have us time and 9 year old is currently in the sweet spot but also likes attention. The days of them being in bed by 7.00/7.30 and then having an evening are gone.

I think having 4 children is always going to be hard, as there is 4 of them.

I could list things, the constant cooking and cleaning every day even when you’re ill, which I am at the moment, the amount of mess they make. Bed times and trying to get everyone to sleep and not stay up, the mornings are hell, trying to get everyone out and ready in the mornings, takes ages 11 year old hates school so is always tricky in the mornings and makes the mornings harder, 8 year old has started copying, the constant meetings and threats of fines because he’s not getting to school on time, which affects the younger one, the pressure of having to do everything for everyone and being pulled in all different directions. The fact it’s so constant and relentless the never ending piles of washing and cleaning.

Thank you I feel like the only mum that finds holidays easier, school is just constant pressure it’s always something, I actually can’t wait till it’s over.

I think it’s simply the fact that you have 4. It’s a lot to handle

You have four of them...

I’m glad you typed their ages out as I wasn’t going to respond. But I can now as you’re already there. One of my children at 13/14 was by a billion times the hardest age for her. But she’s now 17 and an absolute and utter delight.

the problem is that you’ve got 4. So demands on you probably never ever stops.

it would have been good to have been able to give you advice when you had 2 under 5s to say they get harder, but it’s basically impossible to write on a thread where someone writes ‘I’m struggling with 2 under 5s can anyone tell me when it gets easier’ that for me 13/14 for one child was so hard, as they don’t want to hear that reality. I will also say that my other child at 13/14 was an absolute dream, so it’s not a given. I expect ND/NT is the difference.

Mine are 11 to 6 and I feel I control of everything for the first time ever.

However that is because they now go to breakfast club and afterschool. Mornings are now easier, calmer and less to do. Afterschool means homework is done by the time I get home from work.

They will also keep their bedroom and playroom tidy, clear away things they have left around the house.

I've changed to low touch dinners during the week and finally feel like I'm in a good routine with laundry.

It has been very diffulicult over the years but finally feel There's a lot less panic and worry in general over different things.

Agree it’s literally just the fact you have 4. You’re never going to have an easy ride with 4 at once, at least one will be difficult/ struggling with something/ having a bad time so overall parenting in general will feel more relentless.

Thats not to say ‘get over it’ but more so try to be at peace as much as you can with it because it won’t really ever get “easier” with so many kids of different ages.

I get it and I only have two kids, 8 and 11. Life feels relentlessly busy with school, homework, after school clubs, birthday parties etc. Constantly trying to juggle work and drop offs/pick ups (no option to wfh) and no time to yourself in the evening because the kids go to bed later. Amazing how much calmer I felt over half term when I took a few days annual leave and we had some calm, lazy mornings and easy days.

Thank you, I feel like the only parent that envoys the half terms, I saw so many posts celebrating kids going back to school but I dread it. It was so much easier when they were little, thats why i “have 4” because I enjoyed it when they were little and didnt realise how awful the school years would be

I didn't really find the ages you are talking about massively hard (apart from bullying/SEN issues but that was an issue for a long time for both of them). It's hard to understand when you won't be specific OP!

I did further back I think you must have missed it