Worried about lack of naps on holiday

[Cashmeresocksandpjs]

My DS is nearly 18 months old and I’ll admit I have been very rigid with his napping schedule which up till now had worked for us… he always naps in his cot at the same time each day and will sleep for up to 3
hours.

We are going away to visit some friends soon and they don’t really follow a routine with their DD so she’s become very good at napping wherever and whenever ! Our friends have planned a busy itinerary for us with lots of hiking etc which sounds amazing but I’m really stressing about DS not having any time over lunch in his cot (or even in his pram as he’ll be in the backpack carrier).

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get DS used to napping out and about? I’m even worried about our flight as he never sleeps on me either.

And, if it all goes to pot for a week, how likely am I to get my little boy back into his routine after we are home.

Do you have to do everything with the others? If he won't sleep in the carrier I would just say you'll meet up later after his nap. DS was unbearable without a sleep!

I really hope someone comes along with some good advice for you because I would have no idea how to handle this! I’m exactly the same as you and always had a rigid nap schedule so my boy has always been a brilliant sleeper. People used to always say to me oh let him sleep in the pram or the carrier and I’d be thinking hell no! Either he won’t sleep and be grumpy and tired, or he won’t sleep long enough and be grumpy and tired, or he’ll sleep at the wrong time and then bedtime is thrown off which mean the next day will be thrown off 😂

Hopefully someone will have some magic tips and I’ll be able to steal them as well!

here are things I tried: I took his cot bedding with us (unwashed...but not dirty iyswim, just to smell of home and not hotel) I bought a massive tommee tippee (i think) blackout blind from Argos, to fit any and all windows. My DC would not sleep with even a suggestion of day light. I downloaded whitenoise (its what we used to use)

where are you going- flight duration? jet lag? heat?

I found it hard going....sorry op 😕hopefully your dc is a more flexible napper than mine. You can get portable blackouts for buggies (I think you're buggy-less though? and in a warm country you need to be careful with not overheating.) I took a gro egg x

What a great idea about the unwashed cot sheets,I'd have never have thought of that!

Mine naps in the backpack carrier even now as a toddler; fresh air and excitement may also help with tiredness. I also accept that is we go out and about we may only get short car naps, and I adjust bed time if necessary.

I have always planned days on holiday around a nap in the pram at least as mine would nap in the pram. Sometimes this just meant one of us enjoying a coffee after lunch after wheeling the pram around for a bit. They can fall asleep in backpack carriers but I don’t think they offer a good position for sleeping. It’s one thing saying babies and toddlers will just fit in with adult plans but sometimes you do need to consider their needs too.

You can't go from a rigid nap routine to being flexible on holiday. Do you never do days out or weekends away or sleepovers with family? I would have struggled being home for the same 3 hours over lunch every day for 18 months, how tying! I'm glad it works for you but I would have hated that.

I would aim for a car nap or pram nap and accept it will be shorter, bring bedtime earlier.

I usually found it fine to revert to routine at home.

I’d just see if he naps. Surely, if he’s tired enough, he’ll sleep. Maybe you’ve just been too anxious about it before and you haven’t given it proper time to work because you’ve stressed to much about a routine.

Otherwise, take him for a nap in the afternoon! It’s fine to say we’ll do mornings and evenings with you. You just have to be up front now so the plans can be altered accordingly.

We were very laidback about routine. Naps happened as and where they did. My eldest once slept for 2 hours in the carrier, hung on a hook on the wall in a pub while we had lunch. 🤣 But I have friends who will drop fork and knife halfway through lunch at the slightest inkling of a yawn and rush off home to the blackout curtains. I mean, it’s annoying, but it’s fine. I let them get on with it and we enjoy what time they do have before they rush off.

Yes a sort of imprisonment - for both of them. How does that even work?

If we are at home my almost 2 year old has 2+ hours in his cot in the dark with white noise. If we are not at home we make do. I also have a 6 year old and couldn’t spend all school holidays sitting round the house do 3 hours every day to facilitate a nap. We go out for the day and he either naps in the car (maybe a short nap in the morning and another in the afternoon) or in his pushchair. Or he doesn’t and he’s a bit grumpy, and maybe we have an earlier bedtime. But I can spend every day of my life sitting round at home.

Id give it a go trying to get him to nap out and about and if it really doesn’t work you might need to opt out of some days/afternoons to stay home. But I wouldn’t ben paying to go on holiday and then structuring every day to be spent half at the accommodation to accommodate naps.

He’ll nap in a travel cot so we can still visit family & friends… it’s just that he needs the cot and dark 😀 - previous holidays we just planned the day around his nap so we were always in the villa which suited us. Appreciate it sounds awful to some but I like the time to myself to get things done round the house !

My son has a very rigid routine. Nap in his crib every day (although it's only an hour at 17 months) and a full 12 hours sleep at night.

Whenever we mess with his routine for any reason, he wakes every 2-3 hours at night. He gets clingy, I don't get any sleep or any break at all and I want to die from severe sleep deprivation after a few days of it.

I'm sure mumsnetters will come back to tell me it's my fault and call me stupid or whatever but the truth is routine is what got him sleeping in the first place. He thrives on it.

I'd take a full night of 12 hours of sleep over whatever activity is being planned. This is my personal preference.

Perfectly possible to do fun stuff for a few hours only. We now plan to only stay in large Air BnBs, we rent a full size crib (not the travel cribs, he hates them), bring his sheets, his bathtub, his toys, towels, bowls, basically everything to make it homely. And we stick to the nap routine. It means I have to be back at the Air BnB for 12. Some people's idea of hell. My idea of bliss. It's how i get actually rest and can enjoy myself.

@SoSadandTired7 yes that is exactly my logic and the way we have done things till now - I wouldn’t have agreed to the trip had I known the detailed plans !! I’m thinking I’m going to have to insist on at least a few Days of proper naps and then be a bit flexible with timings on the other days

Try a day out with the backpack carrier early on in the trip. Theyre pretty magical for naps for many.

At that age I would try and prioritise a nap every other day as mine were always foul if overtired. That might mean one of us coming back early or doing something in the pram, or splitting the day into two activities with villa time in between. I would try not to stress about it though, your son might surprise you and you can adjust if it’s not working.
I think he will go back into his routine fine after.

My little girl was similar. We would have been able to have a cat nap but not a pram nap at that age, but she would have slept in the carrier.

Personally I would either 1) go with it for the first day and see whether he naps in carrier hiking or not, if not then you know for the future days to factor in a nap somewhere, even 20mins will be restorative. Or 2) go through the itinerary and pick which activities you can do around a nap.

He’ll go back to napping as normal once home!

One of mine just stayed awake and wasn’t even grumpy 🤷🏽‍♀️

Whatever you do, always take a lightweight folding stroller!!!!!!!! A child who is Tired will cause HAVOC !!!! With screaming meltdown episodes.!!!!!!!!!

At that age I was out and about doing days trips with my kids. Legoland, zoos. Country parks, the coast etc I can’t imagine not going out because I had to get my kid back in a cot.
Just don’t worry or think about it. It seems like the routine is now creating more issues. Just get a backpack hiking thing and take the buggy for any flatter walks. You might also find a car drive happens at nap time which is handy. Just enjoy the day out. It’s lovely sometimes going for a long walk with the buggy to get to sleep. If you then end up back at the house just push it inside and let them carry on sleeping.

I wouldn't have agreed to that. Surely the plans should suit everyone and not just your friends? The flight is obviously a necessary disruption but can you not just tell your friends that although it all sounds great your son isn't used to napping on the go. Say you'll give it a go but might have to duck out of some plans if it doesn't work.

I used to just split the day into 2 halves around the nap. Can you not do morning and afternoon plans rather than whole days? I've tried to just go along with other peoples plans in the hope my son would just miraculously nap in a pushchair he's just ended up exhausted and nodding off in the car at like 5pm on the way home, it really wasn't fair on him so I didn't do it often.

Im trying to think back as its quite a few years now but we had a very rigid routine for both kids at home (long nap in the cot in the morning - 2/3 hours) and more relaxed nap out and about in the afternoon. To those knocking routine, when you have no ‘village’ and partner works incredibly long hours, the long nap was a godsend so I could stay on top of everything and have a happy child! I noticed even friends who were against routine pre-kids, always ended up having a nap schedule in the end.

I think by the time we first went away abroad (roughly around age of your child), we were down to one nap a day and did that after a fairly early lunch. Mornings were spent by the pool, kids little waterpark, lunch, then either nap in the room and one or both of us chilled on the balcony (living the dream there compared to when you have two running round the pool all day when they are past the nap stage) or took it in turns to go to the pool on our own. We did sometimes break that and do long walks to the nearest town and let them sleep in the buggy. When they are so exhausted from the pool/hotter climate, it is more likely they will sleep in the buggy (both of ours were nappers mainly in the cot at home and slept in the buggy abroad).

Never had an issue getting back into routine at home (even if you had a one off funny first day back, they will be straight back into routine after that).

Enjoy relaxing on the balcony whilst they sleep because those days will be over possibly by your next holiday!

Now is the time to chill out a bit and start being more flexible. Just go with the flow. You are going on holiday - it’s ok to do things differently. You might find flexibility is actually easier than rigidity.

I’d just aim for a nap a day and not be too fussed about how long it is or when / where it happens. Could be the stroller (easiest option), sometimes in your hotel room, maybe on a sun lounger or in the car / coach. It’s not ideal but as long as he’s had a bit of a nap and you then adjust bedtime it will be fine.

As the PP says, if you were to have a second kid then they have to fit in more. My youngest will happily have 2-3 hours at home in his cot with white noise. If we’re out and about it will be a quick car nap, he never sleeps in the pushchair at home but will on holiday as the sea air / pool time etc naturally tires them out.

Try to relax a bit and enjoy the holiday. You can always opt to skip some of the massively over scheduled days.

Sorry just realised your are staying with friends - I read it quickly as on holiday with friends. But nothing changes from above. Go out in the morning, sleep after lunch (whether at their house or out and about) but it can be on your terms. You know your child and holidaying with an overtired child is no fun.

Surely you wont spend every minute together so can’t you do things in the morning together or after the nap? If its a full day out somewhere not near where your staying, i’d try nap in the buggy on holiday as hotter climate/being exhausted from all the fun, will probably mean they crash out asleep.