Worried about lack of naps on holiday

[Cashmeresocksandpjs]

My DS is nearly 18 months old and I’ll admit I have been very rigid with his napping schedule which up till now had worked for us… he always naps in his cot at the same time each day and will sleep for up to 3
hours.

We are going away to visit some friends soon and they don’t really follow a routine with their DD so she’s become very good at napping wherever and whenever ! Our friends have planned a busy itinerary for us with lots of hiking etc which sounds amazing but I’m really stressing about DS not having any time over lunch in his cot (or even in his pram as he’ll be in the backpack carrier).

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get DS used to napping out and about? I’m even worried about our flight as he never sleeps on me either.

And, if it all goes to pot for a week, how likely am I to get my little boy back into his routine after we are home.

I agree totally with routine. You can do it in a hotel too. I remember the days of lying on the sunlounger on the balcony, DH bringing back drinks from the bar and eldest child asleep for 2-3 hours - total bliss.

Then we had a second and think we possibly got one year of them both napping abroad! Then its watching them like a hawk from morning till night at the pool. Almost full circle with teenagers now and can relax properly on the sunlounger again 😁

If you've never flexed from the 3 hour naps in the cot you might be surprised that he naps elsewhere. I was lucky and my son had two hours whenever and wherever and we adjusted bedtime if needed if there was a slightly shorter nap. He used to sleep in the carrier for hiking albeit maybe slightly shorter like an hour or so but then would have another hour in the car. I'd maybe try to keep a little consistency with a third of the days planned for a proper nap.

My friend's son did 3 hour cot naps too and I could never understand her reluctance to ever deviate to meet friends or go out over lunchtime. It worked for her but 2 kids on and still doing the 3 hour naps ...and limited time means we actually don't really see each other much anymore.

Agree with PP who said take a stroller. You can fashion a makeshift shade to provide darkness.

I’d just wing it personally, if they are tired enough they’ll sleep on the go. This could be a gateway to you not needing to stick to such a rigid routine all the time which might help over summer at home maybe?

My kids will sleep on the go or at home in the cot/bed. We’ve planned a 5 week road trip with them (age 4 and age 7 months at the time) and it’s the lack of routine which is one of the more exciting parts as parenting can become quite samey otherwise

I’m sure little one will adapt and you’ll have a great time- hiking in the fresh air sounds fab!

We find one day on routine and one day off works as a good compromise for holidays and weekends. Our daughter will nap on the go but only for half an hour Vs 1.5 at home so if we did it every day she'd be overtired and grumpy. Your son probably will eventually crash in the backpack carrier so he should have some sort of nap.

Rigid 3 hour cot nappers and easy going 'they'll nap on the hike' nappers should not holiday together 😁

Stroller with a huge shade to replicate the dark of the cot. Try a couple of times at home first. One of the big snuzpod shades makes the whole pram dark.

Time to break free of being chained to the house and the cot !

I would honestly just try and be as relaxed as possible or you'll have a horrid time, three hours is a long time to have to work around and you'll never get anywhere!

I would let go of your expectation and your routine, he will nap in the carrier if he's really tired and yes it might be that he has two cat naps instead of one long one, and they might not be the times you would choose, but then I just wouldn't stress about bedtime and bring it forwards or backwards as planned. I used to stress about naps so much when my little girl was tiny and it ruined so much for us because I felt really anxious about it. When I was able to let all that worry go and take more of a 'what will be will be' approach (which funnily enough happened on our first family holiday at age 18 months!!) we had a much nicer time x

Totally agree. Unfortunately what can happen is that as these kids get older unless their strict routine is met they can’t sleep on their own. They may be brilliant sleepers now but I think that it is a false start. I’ve known a lot of mums who have high fives themselves on their strict schedules and their kids can’t cope when okder - not to mention having to be home at the same time every day and missing out.

My advice. It’s a holiday. It’s a few days. Learn to be flexible and do the best you can. Your toddler will be fine.

Trying to duplicate this rigidity will
only stress you and toddler.

This is what I was thinking. This will probably be the last time these friends will want to holiday with a couple so rigidly focused on 3 hour naps anyway.

Mine never “ napped” find it quite amusing really….

If you have a baby that wakes every 2 hours when they're not in a routine, you'll understand why some of us have different priorities. If my 18 month old doesn't get his nap (tbf it's only 1 hour, not 3), he sleeps horribly that night and I get zero enjoyment out of anything then.

Besides, don't they drop their naps around 2? So this whole being chained to a schedule issue is very short lived.

You know your baby best and if they need 3 hours in a cot at home then they will need 3 hours in a cot on holiday. I think its a bit irrelevant what works for other people, babies are just so specificand different! Having said that, you could try a carrier nap at home before you go they might surprise you and it might work out.

If not, unfortunately thats the sacrifice youll have to make as a parent of a young one that naps a specific way, it is what it is! My eldest absolutely needed 2 hours minimum until just after 3. The older and more distractable they got the more it meant leaving things early, missing events etc to ensure we were in an environment to have that nap. They were not a child that did well at all with little or no nap so it was just something we had to do.

Hope you still manage to enjoy your holiday though, I still believe in getting out and enjoying the world with adjustments for the kids.

Honestly, in these situations I've just said "sorry guys we can't do loads between 12 and 3, he needs a sleep". My children had rigid sleep schedules and others I knew didn't, it just meant if I randomly tried to flex it was a nightmare and my children were grumpy and tired and I felt embarrassed at their moaning. Unfortunately, the downside of a rigid routine is that it is hard to just randomly go with the flow. There's no harm in just ensuring there's a couple of hours down time for him to sleep around lunch though, it's part of hosting to accommodate different needs. I appreciate it might feel like you're asking too much, especially if she's planned an itinerary but when we've had babies to stay I always ask now about nap and bedtime schedules so we can plan around them - I see that as polite, so my guests can relax. You'll be tense and anxious, your child will be tired and grumpy, do what works best for him and you'll enjoy the rest of it so much more.

Then they're not friends worth having are they..... Every time we've holidayed with friends we've all adapted to different needs (send needs, baby needs, toddler needs, naps, meals, bottles, bedtimes).

My son also had a very rigid, cot-based nap routine when he was little and I don’t for one second regret it. We had so many people roll their eyes and berate us for not going with the flow and being more relaxed, but guess what? They didn’t have children who absolutely refused to nap other than in a cot in a dark room and who would subsequently lose their fucking mind if they didn’t have enough sleep. The absolutely misery it would cause for everybody if we attempted to car/ buggy/ no naps at all and the absolute havoc it wreaked on his overnight sleep for days on end was just not worth it. People who have chill, easy going kids who will sleep anywhere or who can cope with a change to routine or less sleep just do not understand.

Mum of 3 here , just give it a go and if it’s not successful you might have to agree to go back to your accommodation for your little one to have a decent nap .
With my first child I tried to keep to a nap schedule but was made to feel unreasonable by my MIL when we visited them .
She was all “ you’re ridiculous, they’ll sleep in their pram / pushchair “
and she rolled her eyes at me .
Well yes child #1 would take a catnap but then would be grotty till their bedtime .
Funny that no one else wanted to deal with them 🙄 when they were grumpy and left me to it .
With my other children I had to be flexible as I had to do runs to school with the oldest and morning nursery school sessions with the middle one so my youngest did get used to falling asleep in the pushchair and then I popped pushchair in a quiet room when we got home .

Try a busy morning on day 1 close to your accommodation and see if DC will crash out in pram under a Snoozeshade - often splashing in the pool / heat etc knocks them out and you might get a decent nap. Take a good pram - we manage with a basic little pushchair now but when my son was needing more / longer naps we took our big pram from home & just checked into the hold for the flight. If it doesn’t work, you’ll need to flex your schedule a bit.

Would you be able to push an all terrain buggy which your little one could sleep in while you hike? Could you suggest a pit stop somewhere where you could lay your child on a roll up mat with his blanket from home so he can have his nap outside & you could have lunch, snacks or drinks while he slept? You could take a pop up beach tent that are usually quite light & small to carry so he's sheltered a bit & feels like he's indoors.
For the flight you can buy hammock like mats that fit over the seat in front to extend a seat so a small child can lay flat to sleep on so your little one won't be on you. You would have to buy a seat for him as on most flights children under 2 don't get a seat allocated for them & are expected to sit on a parents lap.

My daughter would not sleep out and about at 18 months, I don't think it's something that can be trained they either can or can't. She used to under a year but just stopped being able to at a certain point, even in the dark with a snuz shade on the pram no matter how tired. But will do, and still does at age 2, 2-3 hours in the cot. We didn't set out to do a rigid schedule, but she would also be so tired and having a break down by bedtime if no nap at that age. I would just explain to your friends, skip some activities and meet up later. Or you can make the judgement to go all the way through if you particularly want to and then deal with an early grumpy bedtime as it comes!

i feel your pain OP, mine was a non napper and world's lightest sleeper, would only ever nap in a cot and even then it was hard work. meanwhile friends delighted in their kids who would sleep in carriers, in the car, in restaurants, absolutely anywhere.

it's hellish having a child who is over tired and hasn't napped, so if yours wont then i would either not go on the trip or opt out of some of the hiking etc if it doesn't suit your schedule (i turned down a lot of midday activities).

Both my adult DS's loved their cot and both slept well and I never had any childhood bedtime issues
I do believe that babies and children need good sleep habits to grow and develop though
My DS's did not like other cots except their own travel cot
On a couple of occasions I tried to overnight sleep without it and it was a disaster and I came home from a hotel and my parents house in the night
Put them in their cot and they literally smiled, purred and went to sleep
18 months is very young for this kind of very active holiday
Even on holiday my kids would have a nap in the cot and maybe one in a pushchair but not both naps in a pushchair
My younger DS would cry in his carseat in the evening as he wanted to be in his cot
I would think really carefully and also discuss with your friends if this is going to work or just damage the friendshio and wether you should just delay until older