To continue pregnancy or not…

[QuaintLilacBee]

Please note I don’t want any anti-abortion messages or people telling me how disgusting it is to abort.

here’s my situation:

found out I was pregnant 2 days ago. I currently have 2 children, 9 and 3. My eldest child now lives with his dad. Me and my partner (the father of my 3 year old), have been together for 5 years and have a pretty stable relationship. However:

• my last pregnancy was PPROM, waters broke at 23 weeks, constant monitoring throughout pregnancy, and ended up septic in labour - there’s a risk of this happening again
• my partner works but I’m currently a SAHM
• we live in a 1 bed flat, actively bidding for properties with the council but getting nowhere, and cannot afford private rent
• i have 4 cats and I am unwilling to just ‘get rid of them’ - I don’t agree with this, they are a lifetime commitment not a throwaway
• We have no family support/babysitter - our son doesn’t go anywhere, nobody will have him, this would be the same for another child, so have to do it completely alone
• my 3 year old is currently under SEN at school, awaiting assessment for potential special education needs

im asking for advice if people think I should continue or terminate the pregnancy. I don’t want lectures about terminations, cats, or my housing situation. I’m very early in the pregnancy, est 4 weeks, so I have enough time to make a choice.

I did have both my eldest and youngest here for the first 2 years of my youngest son’s life. When he was a baby he shared our bedroom until he was 1 year old (we turned the living room into a bedroom) and then he shared his room with his eldest brother, so wouldn’t be very different from this.

thank you

The OP has two kids one of which is SEN and she lives in a one bed flat with little or no hope of escape. There are also serious medical issues with another pregnancy. She needs to consider her own mental/physical health and being there for her existing children. I don't think just wanting another baby is always the right thing to do.

Contraception should be a priority.

It's always people who aren't walking in your shoes who say this. Ignore them.

You must do what is best for all of you.

Please don’t ask a bunch of random strangers to inform a decision. It is entirely your own decision and if you do not know what to do, please speak to people who are trained to ask the right questions so that YOU decide what’s best FOR YOU. A good place to start would be the BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service). None of us have to live with your decision, but you do and that’s why talking it through is so important

If you’re saying you don’t want lectures, being quite defensive and then justifying how early it is then I think you’ve already made your decision. You don’t need anyone to give you the go ahead or tell you you’re right if you already know deep down what you want to do. It’s your choice.

If it was me, I would terminate, due to the danger that you would end up hospitalized with this pregnancy. As someone has already mentioned, it’s better that you are fit and healthy for the two children you already have. Especially if you don’t have much support, other than your partner.
Also, if your little one is currently awaiting SN assessment at present, then it’s hard to guess how much care and attention they might require.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
Btw, it’s lovely to see someone committed to continue looking after their pets x