17y/o driving without license

[onlyforyou]

Found out 17y/o has on several occasions driven their car while we were out or during the night and had on at least one occasion taken a friend with them.

they have a provisional licence and can drive safely when one of us is with them but that’s not the point.

what would you do?

No Keys.

Is it your child? I'd remove the car keys so they can't drive without you.

Do they realise they can get points on their provisional licence and that they are not insured as a learner without someone else in the car.

Obviously keys have been taken, would that be the end of it for you?

Yes, the were fully away they were not allowed to do so and breaking the law.

Take the keys. If it happens again inform police. I certainly wouldn’t be paying for any further lessons/insurance or access to a car either! This is woeful OP. What are the current consequences you have given? How on earth has this been allowed to happen multiple times?

Do they have their own car?

I'd be selling the car on the basis that DC was clearly far too immature to be driving.

Would you inform parents of child they had definitely driven?

No.

Just take the keys. Get him driving lessons, make him pass his test before he can drive your car again.

I drove before I had a driving licence. Many people used to.

Key word: used to. We did plenty of dangerous/irresponsible things in the past - it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. OP’s son could easily be prosecuted with driving ban before he’s even passed his test FGS, never mind the risk to others.

My god i would come down on him like a tonne of bricks.Car would be sold and not another penny would be spent on his driving lessons. And he would not be getting a lift anywhere ever again.

Yes. But he has been found out. And access to the car has been stopped. Why go and tell the other parent? What actual good would that do?

No I would just focus on punishing my child

Do you not think that stopping driving lessons would be slightly counter productive?!

Who bought the car? Who pays for lessons? It’s that serious imo that the car would be sold if and lessons stopped.

I’d argue that access to the car has really been stopped if this has happened multiple times.. Once is bad enough but if this was my child and it happened a second time the car would be sold. End of. As for telling the other parents, I didn’t comment on that as I don’t see any point. What’s done is done

14 year old lad I know is often out in "his" landrover defender - but we are way out in the sticks, in fairness to the lad he's a good driver.

I did point out that if he gets caught the DVLA will have his licence, which he pointed out would be impossible, as he hasn't got one. Can't argue with that!

Interesting that everyone assumes this is a son, despite the OP not mentioning sex. Is this your child, OP? I only ask as you mention telling the parents. Or did you mean the parents of the friend they took out with them?

I wouldn’t tell the other parents as it will come down on you for being bad parents from their perspective.

I would be selling the 17yo car though. Taking the keys just wouldn’t be enough for me knowing that even though you say they “drive responsibly” it’s not responsible to be out on the road alone with just a provisional license and lack of driving knowledge.

Genius idea. "Stop person who wants to drive from learning to drive legally!"

I wouldn’t tell the parents of the friend, but I’d definitely take the keys away and restrict access to the vehicle if it’s a shared car or one you have bought them.

If they were keen to drive legally they would not have driven illegally. Actions have consequences and not a fucking chance I would reward such a serious rule break with facilitating further driving. Fuck that shit. You get one chance and it’s really easy not to fuck it up.

They would need to earn the car and my trust back.

Agree with pp that it’s funny that people have assumed it’s a boy.

And then what? The car is taken away. The driving lessons are taken away. What then?

I would tell the parents of the friend because they obviously don’t have much sense either.

Wow, they'd be immediately losing access to the car and I'd be pausing lessons until they are mature enough to take a sensible approach to driving.

I wouldn't inform the other parents but I'd be coming down hard on the amount of freedom/independence he currently has since he clearly requires supervision to stay safe.