17y/o driving without license

[onlyforyou]

Found out 17y/o has on several occasions driven their car while we were out or during the night and had on at least one occasion taken a friend with them.

they have a provisional licence and can drive safely when one of us is with them but that’s not the point.

what would you do?

Shes female, and my step daughter but to be fair her sex is irrelevant to the crime or the punishment.

I meant tell her friends parents though, her father already knows. If my daughter was getting in a car with a friend in the middle of the night who didn’t have a license I would want to know.

Then they don’t have a car or learn to drive until they are able to fund it themselves. Not too hard to work that out?

I would also want to know.

Wanting to drive doesn’t automatically equal being able to, especially at the age of 17, presumably funded by parents. It’s not a legal right. If he isn’t responsible enough to follow basic law then he obviously isn’t mature enough to be driving. A bit more frontal lobe development and less impulsive behaviour seems necessary in this case.. Being on the road is a privilege to be earned.

Surely it is better for another mother to knock on your door to tell you your child is being an idiot than a copper to tell you your 17 year old is dead because he got in a car with some other idiot that hadn't even passed his test ?

Statistically young males are far more likely to drive dangerously/illegally. I don’t think that it was a crazy assumption.

Driving is a privilege not a right. Keys gone and lessons gone for six months. They both could have been killed

No, why on earth would you reward such awful behaviour? He needs to mature before he is allowed to take to the roads. Maybe a few years of having to walk everywhere and working to pay for lessons, car and insurance will focus his mind.

One of my friends did this at the same age. They ended up in an accident and got a driving ban when they were so close to passing. I'd be warning your DC of the risks. He probably feels it's fine because he can drive but any of us could end up in an accident and the police do pull over young people randomly, particularly at night.

Yes, I’d definitely tell the parent of the other teen. That teen is making poor choices too and if I were their parent I’d want to know.

As for your step-daughter, take the keys away, tell her if she does it again the police will be involved, pause the driving lessons for a year or so and see if she grows up by then. The immaturity is shocking.

If this is your child and you inform the parents of the passenger, they may report them to the police. If you are happy with that risk, inform them. Personally as nothing has happened (thank God), and I’d really rather not set my child up for a police investigation (even though they deserve it), I’d confiscate the keys and implement some form of punishment. One that packs a punch.

Won’t these other parents go to the police? Remove the car. Keep lessons going and practice with a parent. Her dad needs to control use of any car.

this!!
clearly can't be trusted with a machine that's capable of killing himself and other people.
Why the hell does a 17yr old who hasn't passed his test even have his own car in the first instance??

There is evidence that even teens on a full licence are more likely to have an accident than older people. Even more likely with other teens in the car and if this happens and there is a fatality they will be charged with death through dangerous driving. If this happens on a provisional licence with insurance invalid they will rightly throw the book at him.
When you're young you don'r always realise the potential serious consequences of what would probably have seemed to him a more or less harmless prank ... especially if he already thinks he's a good driver. An accident of any kind or even being stopped by the police without a licence isn't a great start to adult life. I think you need to make the potential legal consequences and that this does not come under the heading of a bit of teen fun crystal clear. I would mention it to the other parent as well.im sure that if another teen had taken your son out in the night illegally driving you would want to know.
don't know about other consequences. For me it would depend on his attitude. If he is normally sensible maybe knowing of your definite displeasure and disappointment would be enough and he's unlikely to do anything potentially dangerous again. If he is a bit mouthy ...hasn't done anything wrong ...only a bit of fun etc etc after you have explained why it was both stupid and illegal I might stop paying for the driving lessons for a while. Cause and effect and all that. 💐

If you don't already know, I would find out which friend. I would then get your husband to have a stern word with your step daughter and the friend together. I would point out that although the SD can drive she has not passed her test and the implications of driving without a licence and insurance. Find some of the horror stories online to back up your case. If you or your husband are currently teaching her then I would stop for 1 month as a punishment or if professional lessons suspend them for 1 month stating immaturity as a reason. I would also tell both of them that you will report them to the police yourself if it happens again.

For those stating that they don't know how a 17 year old has a car, many parents purchase a car for their child or they may have had their own money saved over several years. There is no law to state that a 17 year old cannot own a car nor have their own insurance. There are laws however that state they cannot drive unaccompanied on a provisional licence which is what the SD presumably has.

I'd also be concerned about WHY they were out driving at night - was it just a drive, if were they meeting someone they shouldn't have been, and was alcohol involved for example.

Car is technically hers, an old car that we kept for her to learn in and to have when she passes.

We live in the middle of nowhere so not possible for her to walk or get public transport without first getting a lift, which she does always get. Delaying her getting her licence would just put us out more but I think is a fair consequence for the moment.

@onlyforyou Control use of the car for driving with you only. You know you have to. She’s not bought it from you has she? Who insured it? Her? I doubt it. I assume you do insure it - what’s the cost if she’s the owner? Staggering I would think.

The consequences of her actions could have been hideous. Keys taken and locked away.