15 year old daughter wants to be pregnant

[Raven8385]

Context-
Just 15 year old daughter with severe adhd potential asd just completed ehcp and in the process of trying to get her another school place, produces 2x positive pregnancy tests and doesnt one bit seem phased at all seems excited and happy boyfriend is underage also and has said he isnt ready to be a dad (obviously)
We book her in at the gp I do a do a digital test and it comes back negative and a downward spiral begins she began to kick off in the drs the gp did another 2 tests and they were also negative and her behaviour continues to spiral. We have had issues with her behaviour in the past shes assaulted me twice and kicks off with her brothers when she is in these episodes and we have worked so hard over the last year to get her to a stable place with her behaviour and its all come undone from Tuesday. The way she has spoken to and treated me since tuesday is absolutely disgusting then because I don't want to let it go just like that shes calling me a child and pathetic.
Soo... what on earth do I do?? -
I understand that she doesnt think that far forward when she is behaving the way she does but its affecting the whole household now, the 2 youngest are in school and shes been loud and kept them awake in the night. Everytime she looks at me shes after starting an argument even when I am calm and composed shes trying to push buttons. Shes been horrible to my husband who has been in her life since she was 18 months old and does more for her than her dad has ever done.
Shes soo angry being defiant and soo aggressive I dont know what to do. My point is, is that this has all stemmed from the negative tests.
Has anyone ever been through this?? How do I navigate it??
Im also suffering with a couple of chronic health conditions and its taken it out of me this week and I actually do not know what to do. I cant send her to her dads for a break as he assaulted me over Christmas and he drinks alot and I dont think thats the correct environment for her either I havent got any family that can have her well not with her behaving the way she is doing anyway amd shes refusing her meds so she is completely unregulated.
Anyone got any advice??
We are waiting on a social services assessment too as its obviously a problem with her clearly wanting to be pregnant and being underage and her behaviour becoming the way it is. Im lost and dont know what to do i dont feel comfortable in my own home with her behaving like this.

You did the absolutely the right thing referring to social services. They may suggest a contraceptive injection. I sympathise as I don't know what I'd do either. If you have chronic health problems you can't possibly take on a
baby if thats what she is expecting you to do.

A baby would be taken from her immediately!

It sounds as though her hormones are creating havoc. Have you noticed a connection between her mood/behaviour and her periods?

I'm afraid it's time for tough love . Tell her she is lucky she isn't pregnant and spell out to her that it's not all about just dressing the baby up in nice clothes but give her the reality that she will not be living under your roof if she does go on to become pregnant.
Plus she can't claim benefits under 16 so how will she survive looking after herself plus a baby ?

Is there anywhere that you could borrow one of those electronic babies that mimic a real baby crying etc so that she can see what it might be like. As a PP says no doubt the baby would be removed.
Please Google side effects of Depo Provera particularly for women and girls who are autistic before considering.

She must be in a lot of emotional pain to construct an alternative reality that she believe strongly enough to bring to you. This strongly suggests an unmet need. It could be years of trauma from masking, it could be family dynamics, it could be bullying. There is something causing this behaviour. I don’t think simple tough love is going to resolve this.

Have you found out where the positive tests came from? Has she fabricated them or miscarried/had a chemical pregnancy?

Frankly you need to go nuclear and spell it out to her that you will not facilitate this - you will not house her or a baby no babysitting, no financial support, no moral support, nowhere to live - she'll need to find a new home, new support network, ability to finance rent / bills

She really needs a reality check- her behaviour is not acceptable, ND or not. Do you pay for her phone or anything like that that you could stop as a consequence? I agree she shouldn’t go to her dad’s by the sound of him and you’ve done the right thing referring to SS.

Show her one of those sex ed movies about childbirth. Also an implant

Contraception is the priority here, as she may try to get pregnant, so injection or implant. Having the baby taken off her would really damage her.

I hope social services will provide some support, so hard for you all.

As a sexual health nurse, I’d be really wary of fitting an implant for OP’s DD. They are quite superficial and can be removed by someone who is determined enough (unfortunately I have seen this a few times in similar situations!)

I would be heavily encouraging the Depo injection in OP’s shoes, as it cannot be sabotaged once administered. The side effects vary and can occasionally be unpleasant, but the risk of pregnancy in a volatile 15 year old who is actively trying to get pregnant far outweighs the risks posed by the Depo itself.

Surely you can't administer anything against someone's will ?

A baby would not be safe with her. So yes get her sorted on the contraception that can’t be sabotaged. She is not, on any level, fit to have a baby.

That’s why I said if I were OP, I would be heavily encouraging it as her Mum. I didn’t say anything at all about administering any medication against someone’s will.

Why are women/girls having to remove their own implant in the first place. They have to give ongoing consent to have them.

Are you certain she isn't pregnant, where did the positive tests come from, were they evaporation lines?

They are fitted and licensed for three years after we gain the patient’s consent to fit them, we don’t visit patients every day to check they still want the implant. Most often it is teenage girls who try to remove them in the hope they get pregnant when they really shouldn’t, which is why I’d be very wary of fitting one in the first place.

I don’t want to derail OP’s thread any further.

Thank you all I wasnt expecting soo many replies.
I forgot to mention that the gp said to test again next week as I want her on some sort of protection. The pill was the option but as she is refusing to take her adhd meds the pill is going to be a struggle to get down her. The injection was the next option I think as she cant stop taking that or remove it.
I would obviously support her if she is and keeps baby however after a long think and the fact that we are already full to bursting in this house there is absolutely no feasible way that we would be able to house a baby, the reality would be that she would need to move out when the time comes.
We have touched on the mother and baby places and explained to her what will happen if she cannot abide to their rules there shes only given soo many chances and then the baby would end up in foster care until she was able to show she can provide for the baby and look after them properly. She isnt stable enough within herself to look after a baby shes too young and needs to learn about her send needs and deal with her feelings etc etc in a healthy way and she is nowhere near that yet. Honestly social services would look here and say she would have to be housed somewhere else anyway theres not enough space here at all.
We are looking into counselling even prior to this week anyway.
Im 100% supportive i have fought tooth and nail for her with her send needs in her education and that has been a 4 year struggle and we are finally coming to the end of that, made soo many adjustments at home as to how we manage her behaviour.
I could cancel her phone yes however the times that I have been assaulted have been the times I tried to confiscate her phone due to her displaying similar behaviour to now.
I try soo hard with her and for her as all I want for her is the best and I feel like im constantly failing. She becomes soo nasty and belittles with really personal comments and this week has been an avalanche of her displaying this behaviour.
I 100% know at this point i need some extra support with her in cannot manage this on my own at all my husband is supportive as well and tries his hardest with her but then she starts on him I have a whole weekend now to get through until I can even ring anyone and get someone to come and speak with us.
I think some of my fear is is that she has just finished work with youth justice after an arrest last year and she got a deferred caution and I have had to call the police the two times she has assaulted me in the past and I dont want her with a criminal record because she is obviously going through something but I also hold her accountable every time we have issues but usually its a day or 2 we talk and everything is okay but I have had 5 days of it now.
She bought the tests from Asda and her boyfriend was with her when she took them so I know that they arent faked they could just be duds esp after doing 3 tests the following day and them being negative.
Sorry this is all over the place, theres soo many posts.
I love her dearly but no amount of love means I should have to accept the way she has treated me this week.
Im worried about her and her future and what a potential baby will do to that.
I think today has been worse as I have been for my infusion and it makes me tired, migrainy and sick and I have hit my limit with all this now.
Thank you everyone for you advice and back up I appreciate it.

In regards to her periods she gets hungry and a bit snappy but absolutely not usually to this extent. We have had one time like this in the last 10 months until today and that literally lasted 2 days we talked and it was done.
This isnt her usual behaviour at all and it all started with the negative tests which is why im certain she actually wants to be pregnant as shes done a nose dive and hasnt stopped since.

Definitely weren't evap lines they were very definitely positive tests

This!
ADHD 15 year old without medication wanting to get pregnant - this is 100% hormone driven. When she's no longer in this frame of mind have a serious conversation about what would happen if she got pregnant and try to get her agree to an implant.

She may have had a chemical pregnancy then. Tests rarely have false positives. Or she is pregnant and the other test was wrong. But hopefully not!

Id speak to the boyfriend’s mum. If they’re not using contraception then she needs to know.

The Depo jab is probably best so she can’t forget it.

I would also be sitting the boyfriend down with her and having a proper conversation with him. She can’t get herself pregnant. If he doesn’t want a baby and it sounds like he doesn’t, then you need to get him onside. I’d be having a chat with his parents if you know them too.

This is what I thought maybe chemical/miscarriage but theres no sign of her period or any bleeding and there's nothing much the dr can do with the tests we did on tuesday being negative. So we have to wait until tuesday test again and then get back to see her about contraception.
They were def positive and the boyfriend was with her when she bought them and when she did them and was scared to death when he saw the result I did initially think was taking the mick but she was dead serious

Me and his mum have spoken and we are all on the same page. We arent sure how this has happened anyway as they were using condoms and apparently it split. But neither of them spoke to any of us as I would have just taken her for the morning after pill but she didnt know how to tell me. This surprised me as im very open with all my kids and really approachable so I cant get my head round it, I also dont know if I believe that it split either but we will never know that i suppose. He very much suggested a termination i dont agree with them but I have had to bend my morals on this occasion as I know she won't be able to hand it and inevitably lose the baby so ss, his mum wants a termination if it comes to it she is pregnant but she is very much my body my choice and refuses to even think about a termination.