Page 2 | 15 year old daughter wants to be pregnant

Survivingnotthriving24 · 30/01/2026 20:50

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 20:40

This is what I thought maybe chemical/miscarriage but theres no sign of her period or any bleeding and there's nothing much the dr can do with the tests we did on tuesday being negative. So we have to wait until tuesday test again and then get back to see her about contraception.
They were def positive and the boyfriend was with her when she bought them and when she did them and was scared to death when he saw the result I did initially think was taking the mick but she was dead serious

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She might only be 15, but if she's had a positive test that she's been happy about only to get a negative test at the GP she must be feeling devastated. While we might not understand a 15 year old wanting to be pregnant, have you leveled with her and asked how she's doing or has it been a case of "oh that's great news, let's get you some contraception!"?It might go a long way to strengthening your relationship if you sympathise with her a little, and when the time is right then discuss the ways in which pregnancy isnt a good idea and steps to prevent it until she's more stable and capable of providing for a child.

Original poster

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 20:51

ShawnaMacallister · 30/01/2026 20:35

This!
ADHD 15 year old without medication wanting to get pregnant - this is 100% hormone driven. When she's no longer in this frame of mind have a serious conversation about what would happen if she got pregnant and try to get her agree to an implant.

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Im hoping she does calm and change her mind but she very very much seems to be on the road of wanting to be a mum.
She is medicated has been for a long time but has refused all week to take her medication where as last week and the week before once I had pressed the issue she took her meds all im getting now is "you cant force me" and alot of resistance and me being spoken to like something on the bottom of her shoe

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Original poster

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 20:57

Survivingnotthriving24 · 30/01/2026 20:50

She might only be 15, but if she's had a positive test that she's been happy about only to get a negative test at the GP she must be feeling devastated. While we might not understand a 15 year old wanting to be pregnant, have you leveled with her and asked how she's doing or has it been a case of "oh that's great news, let's get you some contraception!"?It might go a long way to strengthening your relationship if you sympathise with her a little, and when the time is right then discuss the ways in which pregnancy isnt a good idea and steps to prevent it until she's more stable and capable of providing for a child.

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I also got that too i have had many disappointments with pregnancy tests over the years and have sympathised with her and asked her how she feels and all I get is that she feels confused. We have sat down and talked about what its like to be a parent, what she will have to do etc etc
I have asked how she is and I get blanked or she kicks off with something. She's also a kid that doesnt talk about her feelings so I know some of this is because she doesnt know how to manage her feelings and my heart aches for her it does. I end up being her emotional punch bag and everything is aimed at me and its all negative rather than her just talking and telling me what's going on I cant force it out of her as much as I wish I could.

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WanderlustMom · 30/01/2026 21:20

Survivingnotthriving24 · 30/01/2026 20:50

She might only be 15, but if she's had a positive test that she's been happy about only to get a negative test at the GP she must be feeling devastated. While we might not understand a 15 year old wanting to be pregnant, have you leveled with her and asked how she's doing or has it been a case of "oh that's great news, let's get you some contraception!"?It might go a long way to strengthening your relationship if you sympathise with her a little, and when the time is right then discuss the ways in which pregnancy isnt a good idea and steps to prevent it until she's more stable and capable of providing for a child.

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I completely agree with this

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/01/2026 22:06

TFImBackIn · 30/01/2026 18:51

A baby would be taken from her immediately!

It sounds as though her hormones are creating havoc. Have you noticed a connection between her mood/behaviour and her periods?

Unlikely. Ss would expect grandparents to carry the load.

Viviennemary · 30/01/2026 22:15

I thought the same. Usually a baby is not removed from a mother unless there is risk of serious harm or negect. And even then the mother would be given every chance and the rest of the family probably would be expected to give support

SherbetDipDap · 30/01/2026 22:55

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 20:25

Thank you all I wasnt expecting soo many replies.
I forgot to mention that the gp said to test again next week as I want her on some sort of protection. The pill was the option but as she is refusing to take her adhd meds the pill is going to be a struggle to get down her. The injection was the next option I think as she cant stop taking that or remove it.
I would obviously support her if she is and keeps baby however after a long think and the fact that we are already full to bursting in this house there is absolutely no feasible way that we would be able to house a baby, the reality would be that she would need to move out when the time comes.
We have touched on the mother and baby places and explained to her what will happen if she cannot abide to their rules there shes only given soo many chances and then the baby would end up in foster care until she was able to show she can provide for the baby and look after them properly. She isnt stable enough within herself to look after a baby shes too young and needs to learn about her send needs and deal with her feelings etc etc in a healthy way and she is nowhere near that yet. Honestly social services would look here and say she would have to be housed somewhere else anyway theres not enough space here at all.
We are looking into counselling even prior to this week anyway.
Im 100% supportive i have fought tooth and nail for her with her send needs in her education and that has been a 4 year struggle and we are finally coming to the end of that, made soo many adjustments at home as to how we manage her behaviour.
I could cancel her phone yes however the times that I have been assaulted have been the times I tried to confiscate her phone due to her displaying similar behaviour to now.
I try soo hard with her and for her as all I want for her is the best and I feel like im constantly failing. She becomes soo nasty and belittles with really personal comments and this week has been an avalanche of her displaying this behaviour.
I 100% know at this point i need some extra support with her in cannot manage this on my own at all my husband is supportive as well and tries his hardest with her but then she starts on him I have a whole weekend now to get through until I can even ring anyone and get someone to come and speak with us.
I think some of my fear is is that she has just finished work with youth justice after an arrest last year and she got a deferred caution and I have had to call the police the two times she has assaulted me in the past and I dont want her with a criminal record because she is obviously going through something but I also hold her accountable every time we have issues but usually its a day or 2 we talk and everything is okay but I have had 5 days of it now.
She bought the tests from Asda and her boyfriend was with her when she took them so I know that they arent faked they could just be duds esp after doing 3 tests the following day and them being negative.
Sorry this is all over the place, theres soo many posts.
I love her dearly but no amount of love means I should have to accept the way she has treated me this week.
Im worried about her and her future and what a potential baby will do to that.
I think today has been worse as I have been for my infusion and it makes me tired, migrainy and sick and I have hit my limit with all this now.
Thank you everyone for you advice and back up I appreciate it.

Who are you working with with regards to her dysregulation and violence? Have you spoken with CAPA? I don’t think many of the posters here fully understand what it’s like to have a neurodivergent child who is in crisis. Consequences/punishment/reading her the riot act aren’t going to have any affect on a nervous system that is completely misfiring.

parietal · 30/01/2026 23:02

24Dogcuddler · 30/01/2026 18:58

Is there anywhere that you could borrow one of those electronic babies that mimic a real baby crying etc so that she can see what it might be like. As a PP says no doubt the baby would be removed.
Please Google side effects of Depo Provera particularly for women and girls who are autistic before considering.

Apparently those electronic babies on average make girls want a real baby more not less

definitely look up long term contraceptive options.

SevenYellowHammers · 31/01/2026 02:13

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 18:44

Context-
Just 15 year old daughter with severe adhd potential asd just completed ehcp and in the process of trying to get her another school place, produces 2x positive pregnancy tests and doesnt one bit seem phased at all seems excited and happy boyfriend is underage also and has said he isnt ready to be a dad (obviously)
We book her in at the gp I do a do a digital test and it comes back negative and a downward spiral begins she began to kick off in the drs the gp did another 2 tests and they were also negative and her behaviour continues to spiral. We have had issues with her behaviour in the past shes assaulted me twice and kicks off with her brothers when she is in these episodes and we have worked so hard over the last year to get her to a stable place with her behaviour and its all come undone from Tuesday. The way she has spoken to and treated me since tuesday is absolutely disgusting then because I don't want to let it go just like that shes calling me a child and pathetic.
Soo... what on earth do I do?? -
I understand that she doesnt think that far forward when she is behaving the way she does but its affecting the whole household now, the 2 youngest are in school and shes been loud and kept them awake in the night. Everytime she looks at me shes after starting an argument even when I am calm and composed shes trying to push buttons. Shes been horrible to my husband who has been in her life since she was 18 months old and does more for her than her dad has ever done.
Shes soo angry being defiant and soo aggressive I dont know what to do. My point is, is that this has all stemmed from the negative tests.
Has anyone ever been through this?? How do I navigate it??
Im also suffering with a couple of chronic health conditions and its taken it out of me this week and I actually do not know what to do. I cant send her to her dads for a break as he assaulted me over Christmas and he drinks alot and I dont think thats the correct environment for her either I havent got any family that can have her well not with her behaving the way she is doing anyway amd shes refusing her meds so she is completely unregulated.
Anyone got any advice??
We are waiting on a social services assessment too as its obviously a problem with her clearly wanting to be pregnant and being underage and her behaviour becoming the way it is. Im lost and dont know what to do i dont feel comfortable in my own home with her behaving like this.

Can she have a few days and nights with one of those simulator baby dolls? If they still exist?

MILLYmo0se · 31/01/2026 13:45

Raven8385 · 30/01/2026 20:40

This is what I thought maybe chemical/miscarriage but theres no sign of her period or any bleeding and there's nothing much the dr can do with the tests we did on tuesday being negative. So we have to wait until tuesday test again and then get back to see her about contraception.
They were def positive and the boyfriend was with her when she bought them and when she did them and was scared to death when he saw the result I did initially think was taking the mick but she was dead serious

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I think I would ask about a blood test to be absolutely certain..... Or at least get an early morning appointment for the pregnancy test

Crispynoodle · 31/01/2026 14:09

Tell her it’s all well and good and exciting until at week 5 you develop hyperemisis gravidarium then feel ok until 2nd trimester when you develop hideous pelvic and hip pain never mind the giving birth and sleepless nights

Original poster

Raven8385 · 31/01/2026 15:45

SherbetDipDap · 30/01/2026 22:55

Who are you working with with regards to her dysregulation and violence? Have you spoken with CAPA? I don’t think many of the posters here fully understand what it’s like to have a neurodivergent child who is in crisis. Consequences/punishment/reading her the riot act aren’t going to have any affect on a nervous system that is completely misfiring.

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Exactly, she hasnt got the ability to regulate herself its soo soo difficult we go to camhs for regular reviews shes on a medication that finally agrees with her after 3 years.
We have to be quite gentle with our approach but she pushes to the point that everyone ends up arguing. Shes just out of control and we are at a loss of what to do now. I have been sat on pins all week just waiting for the explosion to happen.
Who are CAPA i havent heard of them just camhs we have had early help social services all involved at various times.

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Original poster

Raven8385 · 31/01/2026 15:46

MILLYmo0se · 31/01/2026 13:45

I think I would ask about a blood test to be absolutely certain..... Or at least get an early morning appointment for the pregnancy test

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We will be doing another one next week and then I need to ring the gp back and let them know and make a plan from there.

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Original poster

Raven8385 · 31/01/2026 17:02

Things are escalating today. She was quieter last night but had had a row with the boyfriend so I didnt see her until luch time when she was getting ready. We told her no one was coming in the house today and she didnt acknowledge it. She then came down again and we told her again she started shouting abuse at stepdad he asked her to come down from the stairs and speak to him she flew down got right in his face and started bringing mine and the husbands past (not violent but incredibly personal and not her business and has been laid to rest for a long time) she then stormed upstairs still shouting luckily the boys had gone to play out however the middle came in and over heard her still going on upstairs and then came to ask us about it. That's upset me as he didnt need to know at all and it will worry him hes got anxiety and struggles as it is.
I know it's getting to the point it boils over and shes going to get physical as this is the pattern she follows.
I have called out of hours ss and waiting on a call back and I will absolutely call the police if I have to.
They have called back and they have said that I have been assigned a case worker and she will call back monday to go through an assessment.
So plan is if she gets violent ring the police and just to avoid any confrontation dont try to speak to her about anything but obviously dont ignore her as it will escalate things too.
I have had a breakdown as I literally cannot even have a conversation with her or help her or understand whats happening with her i just feel like an absolute failure

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EleanorReally · 31/01/2026 17:04

you would be left holding the baby
she needs a contraceptive implant or something
perhaps get her a hamster?
or something for her to focus on

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 01/02/2026 08:18

Raven8385 · 31/01/2026 17:02

Things are escalating today. She was quieter last night but had had a row with the boyfriend so I didnt see her until luch time when she was getting ready. We told her no one was coming in the house today and she didnt acknowledge it. She then came down again and we told her again she started shouting abuse at stepdad he asked her to come down from the stairs and speak to him she flew down got right in his face and started bringing mine and the husbands past (not violent but incredibly personal and not her business and has been laid to rest for a long time) she then stormed upstairs still shouting luckily the boys had gone to play out however the middle came in and over heard her still going on upstairs and then came to ask us about it. That's upset me as he didnt need to know at all and it will worry him hes got anxiety and struggles as it is.
I know it's getting to the point it boils over and shes going to get physical as this is the pattern she follows.
I have called out of hours ss and waiting on a call back and I will absolutely call the police if I have to.
They have called back and they have said that I have been assigned a case worker and she will call back monday to go through an assessment.
So plan is if she gets violent ring the police and just to avoid any confrontation dont try to speak to her about anything but obviously dont ignore her as it will escalate things too.
I have had a breakdown as I literally cannot even have a conversation with her or help her or understand whats happening with her i just feel like an absolute failure

You’re not a failure and you’ve absolutely don’t the right thing contacting ss and the police if you need to. She is being abusive and yes she is ND, but she cannot go round abusing her family members. You have to keep your younger children safe.

SherbetDipDap · 06/02/2026 23:39

Raven8385 · 31/01/2026 15:45

Exactly, she hasnt got the ability to regulate herself its soo soo difficult we go to camhs for regular reviews shes on a medication that finally agrees with her after 3 years.
We have to be quite gentle with our approach but she pushes to the point that everyone ends up arguing. Shes just out of control and we are at a loss of what to do now. I have been sat on pins all week just waiting for the explosion to happen.
Who are CAPA i havent heard of them just camhs we have had early help social services all involved at various times.

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https://capafirstresponse.org
They have lots of podcasts and resources as well as weekly online drop ins and individual support. Their safety plan template might be useful.

Capa First Response | Together for safer families - Capa First Response

We want every family to feel safe and no child to feel they have to use aggression and/or harmful behaviours towards a parent or caregiver to communicate

https://capafirstresponse.org

15 year old daughter wants to be pregnant

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