Working mums how do you do it

[Natasha35]

As the title says I’m only on my second week.
My son is 8 months tomorrow has bad conjunctivitis chest and cold. So is waking a few times a night.

he attends nursery 2 days a week, my mum has him 1 day and I WFH with him 2 days.

I leave him at 8am and get back at 6.30pm.

my husband picks him up from nursery and takes over from my mum.

when I get home it’s dinner a quick cuddle and the baby wants to be in bed by 7.30 😭

then I have to pack his bags do the days bottles ready for the morning. I’m exhausted already

I miss my baby 😭😭

I'm sorry to clarify but you WFH with him? How does that work?

That is a long working day - sympathies! I'm lucky in that I don't have much commute.

How are you working from home with an 8 month old though?

At the moment it’s ok I know it will get tougher and when the funding kicks in I can up his nursery.

im not on video calls on these days so my attention is on him. For example we have baby group on one day, then we go out food shopping and a walk on the other day. I work in the evenings and on nap times etc x

It gets easier as time goes on, are you able to go part time? X

Well i could never WFH with my toddler there. I’d probably get fired and rightly so, and it would be unfair to my daughter. My DH drops off and I start early; and then I pick up at 5. It’s just life! Bottles will stop soon as well. We cosleep to all get the most sleep.

It doesn’t. I had a manager who did this one day a week and she was not doing her job to an adequate level.

Badly / with difficulty.

Can you wfh at all?

I leave at 4.30/5 some days so I am back at 5.30 - 6. I do an hour or two post 7/8pm

I also get all clothes / stuff prepped the night before so in the morning we can 30 mins play (more important once they get bigger)

And your employer is ok with you spending two of your working days focusing on your child rather than your job? Are you sure?

You're either working or you're looking after your baby and it sounds like you have two full days with your baby. You cannot be working and lookinf after a baby at the same time. Is your work place ok with your arrangement?

Yes you're other days are long but you're still spending 4 days a week with your baby.

And like others, if I was to go to a baby group or out to a food shop on days I was meant to be working from home, I'd be sacked on the spot.

Op - why would you do a full working day whilst also looking after an 8 month old baby?

My work is pretty flexible, for example i answer emails, messages etc all hours of the day weekends. I work with China and India so the time zones are different. I make my boss a lot of money. I worked pretty much through my maternity leave just not office based but only got maternity pay etc.

I have a good relationship with my boss. I guess I’m lucky in that respect I just miss the baby so much

I start early (DH does drop offs) and finish at 16:30. I also have a short commute, which makes a huge difference.

I don't want to sound snarky but it sounds like you spend two full 'working' days with your baby plus the weekend. I'd say that was quite a lot of time for someone working full time.

I’m afraid it is horrendous until they get over the nursery bugs, and start mostly sleeping through the night. That can take a year or so. After that it’s still relentless and tiring but most people muddle through. The only people who manage better are those with lots of family help

Ok, so you’re sacrificing your weekend with your baby too. I don’t think many mums work 7 days a week op with a baby. That sounds very hard. With your dh also earning full time money, can you not put him in nursery another day, so that you can actually spend some quality focussed time with him?

The number of people who have latched onto the OP working from home with her baby around... typical horrible mumsnet.

OP, it will get better. Once he sleeps better at night that will help enormously.

Honestly this wasn’t my aim
to be judged about trying to earn a living with bills to pay and be the best mum I can.

I wanted tips such as prep this and that, anything I’m missing anything that could help me in that sense.

it will get easier once I find my feet I’ve had him every day for 7.5 months 😢 it’s just hard

OP there is a lovely Facebook group called The Village- a Parenting Community for Humans. You'll get lots of great advice on there.

In answer to your question, the way I do it is:
Have childcare in place for all the hours I work
Stay late on the days my husband does pick up
Leave work at work, no weekend working no evening emails
Do all the laundry at the weekend
Do all clubs etc during the week, so the weekend is free

I am no good to anyone if I am exhausted and burned out.

People weren't being horrible merely questioning it when it was in the OP. The point is you cannot work and look after a baby at the same time, something has to give and its neither fair on the employer or baby. All parents have to make a juggling act.

It isn’t judging so much, but more trying to fathom why the op is doing this, to then help her.

Regarding prep this and prep that, wouldn’t your husband be doing all that since you already essentially work 7 days a week? You have a Full time job 5 days plus 2 days solo care of baby. So he has a full time job and thus in his other 2 days he does all the housework and prep this and that.

I don’t know what the OPs job is but some jobs don’t have a set time, it’s task driven rather than time driven. So as long as you do the tasks, you can do them when you want.

DHs role is a bit like this although he does have meetings during the working day and is out with clients or in the office Monday - Thursday. On Fridays apart from meetings it’s up to him when he does the work.

It’s a difficult adjustment but I think it’s just around expectations. I get up at least 30mins before my boys to empty dishwasher, put washing on and prep breakfast. I then have a quick shower and start work early (so don’t really see my boys much in the mornings). My DH takes over and does the rest and drop offs on his way to work. This means I get to finish early and get an evening with them (whereas my partner doesn’t get back until after 7). You have to remember they’re having a life of their own at nursery - new experiences, friends etc. that really benefits them. It sounds like you’re getting nearly four full days with him which is a lot more than most.

And prepping bottles and packing a bag really shouldn’t be taking you any more than 20mins.