I feel so sad and desperate

[NotABanana]

My DS1 and DD have just completely ruined DS2's birthday.

I am off to eat my dinner.

How?

It takes a lot to ruin a birthday when you are a child. You might be more sensitive about it than he is himself.

Eat faster will you!
We want to know 'how'?

Hope that's not true.... ???

TBH I think DS2 had a lovely day. He said he had when I asked him earlier. Then it was time to get ready for bed and their behaviour just decended into a nightmare. Oh well. I should be used to it by now.

You didn't say how!!!
Nice cliffhanger!

It isn't meant to be. It certainly isn't entertainment where I am sitting.

What happenned ?.
I'm not taking the piss. You are obviously quite sad.

Thanks for that. It doesn't always come across how people mean things on here and is very easy to take things the wrong way.

I am very sad. Sad that we are doing everything wrong, sad that our children have no respect for us and sad that they can't even be good for a special afternoon.

Thanks for that. It doesn't always come across how people mean things on here and is very easy to take things the wrong way.

I am very sad. Sad that we are doing everything wrong, sad that our children have no respect for us and sad that they can't even be good for a special afternoon.

You're not the only ones.
Its the way of the world.
Our children expect the world to be handed to them on a plate, but they don't want to thank you for it and the next day they want something else.
Never satisfied.
I haven't raised mine to be this way and I was never like this as a child, but all 3 expect anything they demand.
I'm pretty sure you are not doing everything wrong. You clearlly had high expectations of the DC's on this big day and children aren't great at living up to our expectations.

Oh NAB stop. Birthdays here always descend into blardy chaos and end up with one or the other or even dh going to bed in disgrace. Plan the rest of the weekend to be quiet. If dd is older than ds2 as well, you might have a little word about their behaviour.
Give yourself a break. You are not doing everything wrong. And don't put 9 eggs into the birthday cake again, will you!?! [Have namechanged recently, never made a car cake like your brilliant one but once did a disaster of a teletubby]

i think if you expect all your children to be good all day when the focus is one onE of them, you are expecting too much.

children are not grateful and appreciative, and expecting them to be is unrealistic.

It is not that.

They are the same every bloody day. It just hurts today as it is the youngests' birthday

They have been in bed since 7

I was staggered when DD didn't cry at her party last year.
At some stage the anticipation, the excitement the whole partiness of the thing gets them so emotional that one of them blubs or has an arguement or something.
Some years it isn't even me.

NAB. Sweetheart. At some stage you have either got to go and see someone and get some specialist help ( And I don't know what but like parenting classes or behavioural therapy or something) or you have just got to learn to shrug your shoulders a bit more.
your constantly feeling that it isn't working and you are not doing a good job is just so sad for all of you.

When DS was identified with SN we were allocated time with a behaviour management team in Kent where we were living. Would you be able to talk to social services or your Gp or health visitor or even citizens advice about where you can get some POSITIVE support.
Because I am sure you are doing a better job than you think. And maybe having someone just hold yourhand for a while would help.

BTW I am sorry to reference your various previous threads. i wouldn't normally do that but you seem so sad and tired.

Well at least they are predictable!
Did you tell them that you thought they might make more effort today? Did you also let them know how this is making you feel? I'm sure that they'd hate it if they knew they'd upset Mummy. I know mine would.
You will feel differently in the morning, things are always better after you've slept on them.

Is there any way that you could take the birthday boy on a special trip with you tomorrow? A special outing for just the 2 of you? Cinema, play centre, park, just to the shop for an ice-cream? It will be lovely for you to be alone with him and will let him know that he is special.

Everyone woke up very excited about today. Nothing was said apaprt from let us all have a nice breakfast with no one arguing just for once. I didn't put any pressure on the children. The birthday boy was fine. DD was defiant and DS1 was cheeky, rude and full of back chat. I think I will give up. I even had the thought I would stop telling them off in any way at all and just leave them to it.

BTW Pagwatch no worries wrt other threads. TBH I am sick of reading myself saying the same old same old so I don't blame anyone else if they are sick off it too.

I hate my parents. If only they had let me be adopted I might have had a chance.

KerryMum - they are 7.3, 4.10 and 3 today.
Remember the thread where you said about yours drawing blood each day? Can you see if you can find it as I asked you a question please.

NAB
I am not the slightest bit sick of it. I wish I could suggest something to help is all.

And you do have a chance. You have to give yourself a break.
I am just getting the hang of this parenting lark and my eldest is 14 !
I just wish you could access some help. Because my sense is that mostly you need a dollop of confidence.

KerryMum, here

I sometimes wish I could post my background so that the things I post would make more sense but then I would have to acknowledge it all happened.