3 year old sleep regression

[MaybeItsTimeForMeNow]

Argh. Thought i was done with all this but here we are !! 3 year old packed up sleeping a week ago. Went from beautifully saying goodnight rolling over and sleeping 12 hours to waking every 10-40 minutes and that's if I can get out if the room in the first place. Will scream her head off and run constantly to my room. I am absolutely broken. She wont go to dad do cant tag team, she's in a horrible mummy mummy mummy mood. Slept on her floor first night (thought she may have been ill or something!) Co slept the second night from 1am because I had to drive for work. Put a lid on all the to prevent new bad habits but here we are, a week later and I have been up and down since 7pm yesterday. She doesn't nap anymore, ive got two night lights, we do bath, story, no screens. She has a doll she sleeps with.

What the hell can I do. I have a big week at work next week so im slightly worried 😟

If she's waking that much in the night she's probably exhausted.

Can you do a strategic car nap as a little catch up or a very early bedtime? It probably feels counter productive but they can sometimes wake more when extra tired.

How are you getting on now @MaybeItsTimeForMeNow?

I've tried the car, we have done a couple of 40min journeys after shes had a meltdown in a cafe/shop and still no sleep. In the day she acts like nothing is wrong minus the very odd tantrum which I expect of most 3 yo. Even the childminder is puzzled. We had two better nights on Wednesday and Thursday where she did not cry, did not scream, did not run, but still woke me up ~11 times but was walked back to bed and straight back to sleep. Last night however, she slept from 7, woke every hr til around 11 then refused to stay in her bed till 1.30 when for whatever reason I had a light bulb moment and decided to switch her bed round so she was fully facing the door. She seemed a lot happier with that although still woke a couple of times thereafter.

Im absolutely shattered. Last night I fel weak and disoriented trying to keep going. I can only hope she prefers her bed that i guess? But from Tuesday I'm catching the train into the office all week. No idea at this point how I will manage it.

We’re having the same, dd is 3 next month, always been a good sleeper. She’s started waking several times a night saying she’s scared and crying. It’s so hard.

Think we're going into week 4 now not sure! Last night she woke 11 times. The night before she woke at 10.45 and went down at 4.15am. Utterly ruined here 😴

I'm sorry to hear you're still going through this!

What time does she get up for the day and what time does she get into bed on a night?

Hi @ThatMintMember last couple of weeks she was up between 5-5.30 insistent it was morning. This week i am managing to get her to last til 6.30 which is when we all get up for school/work. She will go to bed around 7pm-7.30pm at the latest. In the day she doesn't nap, not even on car journeys and despite being absolutely shattered im making sure shes out walking, playing, park or whatever to get plenty of exercise and fresh air. She doesn't have screen time atleast an hr before bed.

Thanks for the extra detail :)

I still think an earlier bedtime might help. On the days she's going from 5:30am-7pm that's a really long day. For my son who's 3.5 I aim for a 12 hour day, if he wakes at 7am I put him to bed at 7pm and he goes to sleep shortly after. If she's up for the day at 6:30am, get her to sleep for 6:30pm. It's early but once she's sleeping we'll you can always nudge it forward. Does she get hyper before bed?

@ThatMintMember that's great thank you I can try that. No she doesn't get hyper, she genuinely goes to bed really nicely with a story, dim lights, her dolly. She will last an hr or so and then that's it, I'm up and down with her all night. Some nights she literally runs to our room (which is next door) like her life depends on it so I do think shes scared but ive tried gently asking if theres things in her room she doesn't like, we've moved a few bits around, but nothing seems significant. Ive talked to her about shadows and she doesnt seemed bothered anymore about those. Every other night or so she will have one wake up when shes inconsoloble, yelling her head off, doesnt want me to hold her but also yells if i put her down so she bucks her body around. I go through a series of things to try and snap her out of it so to speak, like lets look out the window for a bird, let's tuck in dolly, last night she calmed when I sang I'm a little Teapot....Its really random. Then she will smile and go back down. I would guess its night terrors?

Yes, that sounds like night terrors which also relates to being overtired! My son gets them occasionally if he's overtired or too warm in bed.

When they get overtired a stress hormone is released that makes it really hard for them to stay asleep hence the frequent wake ups. Might be an idea to add some downtime into your day too if possible so she gets a rest even though she doesn't nap. My son stopped napping about 6 months ago but we've kept the afternoon chill time with some calm tv and then kinetic sand/playdough etc.

Let us know how you get on :)

OK thanks. Shes been up and down since 10pm tonight. All shes saying is shes not tired. Will try and early night tomorrow. Assuming I survive going to work!

Have you tried making the bedtime story extra special by making it about HER? We had similar issues and started using personalized stories where our daughter was the main character. There's a site called Monstie.ink that creates custom stories for free using AI.

Something about hearing a calm story where SHE is the hero really helped. My trick is I tell my daughter that the character she created will come visit her in her dreams tonight, so she actually looks forward to falling asleep now!

She started loving bedtime because she wanted to hear "her story" and then dream about the adventure. Might be worth a try when you're at your wit's end! Hope things get better soon 💜

@ThatMintMember I have been up either all night, possibly worst night yet her longest stretch is now from 5.15am. Im getting ready for work 😩

If she is over tired would you put her to bed early tonight? Assuming she wakes up in a min. Weve been putting her to bed at normal time each night. Im debating trying 6-6.30pm to try ansld give her a running chance. All she said in the night were here eyes won't stay closed which i can testify to as I was watching her on the monitor and she is trying for a few minutes sometimes longer but her eyes then start blinking again. If I sat in her room she'd go to sleep though. I just can't do that.

It sounds like you are completely drained, and I just want to give you a huge hug. My oldest went through a phase between 2.5 and 3 where she absolutely refused to sleep—she’d stay up until 3 AM! It took me quite a while to get her back on track, but here are a few things I learned along the way. I really hope they help.

1. Take a breath—it starts with us, not them. When we’re desperate for them to sleep but they just won’t, we get so anxious. Even if we think we’re hiding it, kids are like little sponges for our energy. Think about it: if you were trying to focus on a task and a coworker kept hovering and rushing you, you’d feel tense and probably want to push back, too. Now, I try to let go of that "strict bedtime" pressure. I just lie there with her and chat—really casually—about my day or the friends she saw. Honestly, after a few days of this, she relaxed so much and started falling asleep way earlier than I expected!

2. Ask if something is weighing on her little heart. Is everything the same at home lately, or has there been a change? Even a conversation she overheard might have made her feel uneasy. For example, my daughter Ellie is obsessed with her grandpa. Once, she overheard us talking about him leaving after a visit and she just burst into tears. For the next few nights, she kept waking up because she was so worried about him going away. We had to have a very open talk with her, promising that even though he was leaving for now, he’d be back in three months and we could call him anytime. Only then did she start feeling secure enough to sleep again.

3. Stick to a cozy bedtime routine. I know everyone says this, but it’s a lifesaver. We do teeth and washing first—if she’s grumpy about it, I’ll say, "Let’s do it together!" She loves seeing us both in the mirror with toothpaste bubbles everywhere. Then we pick 3–5 of her favorite books. While we read, I’ll weave in little chats about her day. Once the books are done, I dim the lights and hum softly until she finally rolls over away from my arms to find her own pillow. That’s my cue that she’s ready to drift off on her own. I can then tip-toe out and gently close the door. It takes a while to build the habit, but once it clicks, it saves so much sanity!

I’m not sure how things are going right now, but please don’t be discouraged. This "sleep nightmare" is just a season. As she grows, it will get better. Hang in there, mama! ❤️

babyessentialshub.org is my blog website, where I share many of my parenting experiences. Welcome to visit!

I'd try putting her to bed about 30 minutes early and just see if it makes any difference :) she'll presumably be pretty tired from another rough night even though she eventually slept until after 7am

@ThatMintMember thank you, she slept better last night. She woke every 2 hours but this is a vast improvement on the previous few nights and required just to be walked back to bed and tucked back in.

She was up at 7.15 today. Would you revert back to 7pm bedtime or assume shes still catching up abit and do another 6.30? We will just be pottering around today so nothing overly strenuous.

I'd presume she's still catching up since it was a disturbed night (although less 🥳). Sounds like she had over 12 hours with a few short wake ups which sounds like a lot more sleep than usual!

Maybe try 6:45 tonight (asleep by 7) as she might not be tired enough for 6:30 tonight.

Thank you @ThatMintMember this is so helpful. You wouldn't believe this is my third, my 2 ds were terrible sleepers but not as toddlers so dd has thrown me. I thought i was done with the relentless sleep spells!! Thank you

You're welcome! I hope things continue to improve and you all get to catch up your sleep.

I feel like sleep is like a science, I've had to figure out what's going wrong with my sons sleep so many times over the years but it's always been fixable thankfully!

Well I put DD to bed at 6.45. She slept til 9ish then woke every 45min to an hour again, really unsettled around 3am getting up and down for about an hr or so, and then decided to sleep from around 5-7.30am 😴 when will this end 😒 I have a function tonight, no idea how to get through it. Dd will be with dh....going to go one way or the other I guess.

Ok so that still sounds like overtired. I'd try the earlier bedtime again if your DH can tonight (asleep by 6:30 if that's what worked the previous night). Then if that bedtime leads to a slightly more settled night then stick with it for several day and let her catch up her sleep a bit. Also include some chill time in the afternoon.

I'm sorry it was another rough night but that seems to show that the earlier bedtime worked better! I can recommend eye drops for your eyes to feel less tired, hope you manage ok for your function tonight.

Well update from me. She woek DH 3 x all night, one of them needing a few attempts to get her back to bed but on the whole no dramas. Last night, I was back, she was back to waking every few minutes- max 1 hr. On both occasions she went to bed 6.30ish.

Shes now following me everywhere. Sits outside the toilet, waits for me to have a wash. Screams blue murder if I lock the bathroom door. Bloody hell.

I was going to take her out today in the car to a massive playground, have a girls day. My phone is telling me I've had ~2 hours sleep so I wont drive. So another day stuck at home/walk to the little park. Back to work tomorrow. Ive Absolutely had enough.

Surely this has to end soon, we aren't introducing any new sleep bad habits, been consistent and everything.

This sounds so exhausting and stressful I really feel for you. I have a two year old and a newborn, and we found having the non preferred parent settle DD2 when she went through. Period like this just before Christmas really helped as she kept waking up for the other one. So it could be worth a try of Dad doing all the waking tonight to see if that’s better and being clear to your daughter that Mummy isn’t getting up tonight?

Oh that's so frustrating! Hopefully she just missed you from the night before and things improve soon again. My son is pretty clingy to me but I get it away with it buy building some connection time in everyday (he just rejects his dad constantly if i dont!). I get him up in the morning and we have 15 minutes before his dad joins us, after nursery we have about 30 mins just us two before his dad joins us too.

Sorry to hear this OP, sounds rough.

To me this sounds like a classic case for Ferber. Particularly as she is 3, she is now at an age where she is communicable, and has the ability to manipulate as well. Not from any malicious intentions, but it's still manipulation.

Two things are happening. One, her wake up intervals are coinciding with her changing sleep cycles. We all do this as adults but we go back asleep and don't even realise it. At three, she's panicking.

The second thing happening is that, as you've said, she's very attached to you. That's great and shows you're doing a great job as her Mum, but it doesn't mean it's healthy for her to believe you are at her beck and call at all hours of the night. It's a bad habit which needs broken, and I think the easiest way to break it is to go with Ferber. When you go into comfort during Ferber, keep it simple, routine, boring. It might take 1-2 weeks but I'd be very surprised if it didn't work.