Returning to work when baby is 8week - possible?

[LeafHunter]

When DS was born, I returned to work after 8-10weeks. I run my own business and did about 15hrs per week. DH can also choose his own hours so until DS was 2, we shared care around who was working. DH works for home, I work about 20 mins drive away, opposite DS nursery.

Im due start of August and I’m trying to establish if I’m bonkers for believing I can return to work mid/end of September. It’ll be a planned section so I need at least 6weeks off. DS will be 3y9m and in nursery 9-3 3days per week.

we have great friends, altho a lot will be at work. No family. Is it possible to return? I can’t gauge how big the jump from one to two will be.

Is there a financial reason you need to go back to work?
you’ll probably fine but your new baby might need a bit more cuddles.
what difference would it make to your finances if you were to sta home a bit longer?

Will you be able to work round each other again and work very part time?

We can work around each other again, that’s no problem. I tend to work solidly on the nursery days and then evenings on the non-nursery days so I think we could do the same, and I can rearrange my hours a bit.

Financially, it’s better if I work. We could manage without it, but DH would then need to work more hours and his income is much less predictable.

I love my work (therapist) so need to make a decision soon as because it’s not the kind of work you can just pick straight back up again if you take a long break.

I returned to work, full time, after 10 weeks. It wasn't through choice and physically I probably wasn't up to it as I had a complicated birth.
It was a very hard time ....yes, it is doable but I would never do it again.
Only do it if there are no other options.

Was that a first or second child? I made it work with my first but I’m unsure how different it will be trying to navigate two!

As a therapist I would prioritise my baby's attachment and future mental health by spending a bit longer at home.

My second was a planned section and my wound wasn't fully healed and closed until about 4 months as I had issues with the stitches and doing too much. I wouldn't have been comfortable going to work.

How many hours do you need to work to make it financially viable? You said last time you worked the nursery days solidly and in evenings. I’m assuming baby will stay home with dad on the nursery days for a bit? (Or will they go straight into childcare?)
I think if you can work just during those nursery days, it’ll be doable because DH can cover those times and dads are perfectly capable of being a main caregiver (especially 8.30-3.30)
I think if you’re trying to factor in evening work as well, you might start to find it overwhelming. It will mean you get zero downtime, and are relying on two kids going to bed properly, sleeping well etc. at 10weeks you’ll be just getting into the possible swing of things when the first sleep regression comes along etc.

it’s also really hard to say as each child is different, if they’ve got colic etc or are particularly clingy it will be a lot harder than one which is chilled out and happy to lay in a Moses basket etc. but of course it is all doable - in America you’d have been back at 6 weeks if not before most likely.

Why have a baby if you need to return to work when it’s 8 weeks old.

@LeafHunter 8 weeks is fine to return to work. I did after 4.

Americans do it all the time

I did at 4 weeks..crashed and burned. Was off again for couple months, then came back with adaptions. (Baby ended up having needs and i had post partum stuff)

If returning to work means fitting in 15 hours a week from home when your DH is home, then maybe. But you know what sleep is likely to be like. Will you be breastfeeding?

I think it depends how you feel physically and how much sleep you get.
From your OP it looks like you won’t be out of the house much and your DH is there, so I don’t see why not.

I started working pt after 2 weeks because my job didn’t have maternity leave (USA) and came with a tied home so if i didn’t work I would have to move out, you do what you have to. I worked with baby in the carrier and a toddler trailing me often or when my then h was home, he sometimes did my duties too as it was maintenance and cleaning as well as accounts which I did during naps. The upside was that the residents all loved our new arrival and wanted to help by not making a mess!

When I had my first dks,in the 70/80s I was nursing. Maternity leave paid was 6 weeks. I saved enough money so I could have 3 months off.. that was the first 3 with ex H..we didn't use nurseries or childcare. He worked nights,me days. No outside help. When they were older hospital had crèche system, which they loved. Second DH, I had to return to work quickly,long complicated story caused by ex h and w. I was 41 with gynae issues and 2 MC,was told I had a very small window and in fact had menopause at 42.I went back PT,at 2 months, evenings, then twilight shift. Then nights, occasionally the 2 adult dks babysat, Oldest DD had a baby the following year.We all mucked in,looked after each others.

The jump from 1 to 2 is smaller than no baby to 1 baby. I found I just got on with it, rather than spend a lot of time agonising/trying different things with feeding, sleep, carriers etc.

I think it will be tough on you at times because you will still possibly be recovering, but I assume by therapy you mean talking therapy rather than anything physical?

It makes me sad that you have bad comments like ‘why even have a baby if you’re going back to work after 8 weeks’. I bet nobody has said that to the baby’s dad.

ideally, 16hrs a month (4 per week) would cover us. Currently do 20hrs per week so at the very most I’d be aiming for that after about 6 months.

I work during nursery hours now. After DS was born I began with 4hours per week and built it up over a year. DS was with DH and it would be the same this time.

Thanks, this is really helpful. It’s just so hard to judge what 1-2 will be like.

I can’t see me working 4hours per week is any different to SIL going to the gym for a similar amount over a week whilst her child is with her family or a friend having dinner with other friends without the baby.

I completed a masters on my maternity leave. So I think it's doable. Tbf though I only had one child. I was also able to complete a lot of the work in the middle of the night when I couldn't get back to sleep anyway. It was HARD work, but it also helped me to not lose touch with myself which could easily have happened.

If your a therapist does that mean your job is essentially just listening to people? I appreciate that will be emotionally draining, but physically it won't be difficult. You also presumably don't have to worry about making huge mistakes due to exhaustion and getting sued? Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

I think it will be an exhausting time but it's doable.

If you can get a decent nap schedule in place I can’t see why it can’t work as you’re only talking about 4h pw initially.

From the perspective of being absent from baby 4 hours a week it's perfectly doable, but if you're a therapist will you have to go back and forth if the appointments are all at different times and does that make it feel longer? Could you swap to online sessions for a short while if they are established clients to minimise impact?

Do you have clinical supervision (assuming you are registered?) have you discussed it with them? While as a PP said it's not physically demanding work, I imagine it has the potential to be heavy emotionally, you will know better having had one DC if you're able to hold space for your clients when sleep deprived/still recovering etc. I would say whilst the jump from 1-2 was less overwhelming than the jump from 0-1, that was because I was already in the midst of small children and I was definitely more tired, as I couldn't nap when the baby napped anymore as the toddler was still awake, but if your eldest is at nursery that might be less of an issue.

I would suggest you need to carefully consider not just if you can logistically, and emotionally, but also that you'll be able to adequately support your clients. As someone who has therapy, I love my therapist and if this was her I would be as supportive and flexible as I could to help her prioritise her needs while still managing some sessions if we could, but if she turned up knackered and frazzled and less engaged I wouldn't be happy - it's expensive and you need to be sure you can still 'show up', it's not like admin where you can slow down when you're struggling and pick it up later/next time.

I did my masters dissertation on mat leave with my first.

yes, just sitting.

Yes, taken it to supervison a lot.

I’m pretty confident in my ability to bracket off the tiredness. We’ve had a run of DS having terrible sleep when he was 18m, and pregnancy tiredness has been horrific but I think it’s been manageable.

The difference with the gym or dinner with friends is you can easily opt out. Working has more obligations, especially something like therapy where trust that appointments will happen is very important.

I felt much more on top of things after dd2 than I did with dd1. But it was also an easier birth which made a huge difference. Dh worked odd hours and I did a lot of bedtimes with a tired toddler and witching hour baby, that was very hard. One thing to consider is baby no. 2 may catch more bugs as your eldest will bring g them home from nursery.