Returning to work when baby is 8week - possible?

[LeafHunter]

When DS was born, I returned to work after 8-10weeks. I run my own business and did about 15hrs per week. DH can also choose his own hours so until DS was 2, we shared care around who was working. DH works for home, I work about 20 mins drive away, opposite DS nursery.

Im due start of August and I’m trying to establish if I’m bonkers for believing I can return to work mid/end of September. It’ll be a planned section so I need at least 6weeks off. DS will be 3y9m and in nursery 9-3 3days per week.

we have great friends, altho a lot will be at work. No family. Is it possible to return? I can’t gauge how big the jump from one to two will be.

Massive drip feed by saying it’s only 4 hours a week!

I think that will be fine

Although you mention working about nursery hours, I think you’re saying that’s for your older child? I wouldn’t put an 8 week old in nursery (and a lot of them won’t take babies that young).
If you’re talking about starting with a few hours a week around your husband’s work then I think go for it at 8 weeks! I had a short leave with both mine and found going back to work was a real return to sanity. As others are saying, the second was easier than the first.

I can choose. It wont ever be more than 15, but I would begin with 4 and work it up. So if everything felt fine then I could begin with 15, but I don’t think that that would work. This is the same as I did with DS when he was born

Yes, I’d work nursery houses (9-3, 3 days per week) whilst the baby was with DH. I’d begin with a couple of hours each morning after nursery drop off, then add in a couple of evenings once DS is asleep.

the baby won’t start nursery till they’re 2, and by then DS will be in school.

@LeafHunter why not go straight for the 15 hours if doable? I’d find the mental load of only working 4 hours draining. By the time you've shifted your brain into work mode it's time to switch it off work mode.

Right! 4 hours a week however will you manage

The baby isn’t being abandoned - it will be with its father - its parent!

I would say yes as I ran my own company with 2 children and worked when they were newborns, I have my DH able to support and work with me. It was easier when they were newborns than 2-3 years old tbh so it’s doable.

@pintofpkssdid you mean to be so rude?

Yes it will be. The OP didn’t state in her original post it would only be 4 hours a week which is fine. I was thinking going back full time leaving a baby that young who will still need its mum a lot !

You can always make money back. You can never get the time back. Enjoy your baby.

I found I was much more tired after second baby - if you've been up and down all night with the baby, you can't recover during the day naps if you have a busy toddler to look after plus work.

They’re only little for such a short time, I’d prioritise time with the baby for quite a few more weeks or months.

I think 4 hours per week is fine. I’m not self employed, but certainly was working 4 hours per week on research funding applications and writing manuscripts during mat leave.

But from the perspective of your clients, I would make sure you are fully recovered and able to devote proper energy and mental effort to them rather than set a deadline (like definitely by 8 weeks). If I’m paying £60 an hour, I’d want to know my therapist is fully engaged and not thinking about a nap or a healing incision.

Dropping down to 4patient hours/week is doable, but plan for a much much slower ramp up than with your first. My second was the better sleeper but still up for feeds, and I couldn’t nap when the baby napped because the toddler wasn’t going to nap.

I really don't think this is an argument in favour!

The logistics sound fine but I was a bit of a hormonal mess at 8 weeks post partumn. Especially after my second even though she was an easy baby and it was a planned c section.
I don't think I would have wanted to be doing a very cerebral job where I was talking to vulnerable people. Is it actually fair on your clients?

@LeafHunter my best friend is a self employed speech and language therapist. She took only 8 weeks maternity leave after the birth of her third DD and often says that she regrets not spending more time with the new baby. She felt impelled at the time to keep working and earning (very part time and building up like you plan to do)
I think if you have a choice then just do the four hours per week for a good few months.

I wonder how different this would be if I was a man- there will be male therapists who are working a couple of weeks after their partner has a baby and will be existing on the same level of sleep as I will. They would probably be working many more hours than I do (FT for a therapist is often 20hrs pw).

It seems that the biggest unknown will be how I’ll feel (tired and hormonal, but to what level). I was in hospital for a week after DS due to complications so the same may happen this time too!

I found the jump from 1 to 2 harder than 0 to 1. We are all different.

My eldest also didnt sleep through so I was up.more in the night as they didnt coordinate and I had less opportunities to rest in the day.

That said I think running around the park with a toddler and a baby, then grabbing shopping is probably physically harder than doing 4 hours work, so it would have been fine.

My Mum went back after two weeks with me! But this was WAY back in the late 90s and she was selfemployed so could make her own scdhhuele and she had a massive support network around her to look after me (I was also FF so anyone could give me a bottle)

You would have got a quicker reply if you had included 4 hours a week in your original post 🥰

You sound very capable! I am a SAHM but the jump from 1-2 has been way less than I expected, especially with your age gap (mine is similar at 3.5 years) I think you'll be fine. With your DP being capable too 4hrs per week doesn't sound like a problem to me and you can judge and build it from there

Agree with this. Especially about the comments. There's nowhere quite like mumsnet for women trying to make other women feel bad.

Is your job physical? You may still be less mobile from the c section after 8 weeks. But if you have got dad looking after baby, you are not needed to breastfeed, and you love your job I think a few hours a week will seem like a holiday and you should go for it!
(I remember a trip to the supermarket ALONE being a holiday at that stage!)

I returned to a 40 hour week job at 12 weeks with both my kids. Wouldn’t have been my choice but we lived in a country where 12 weeks was the maximum. Kids are 18 months apart and we’re both in full time daycare.

I think working while your toddler is in nursery should be fine. I wouldn't attempt the evenings as well for a while.

I don't think anyone has mentioned the law of washing - for each child added, the laundry burden is squared. So forget about tiredness etc, worry more about having clean clothes to wear 😂