Is it normal for a doctor to recommend unpottytraining?

[Newishmom]

So just a basic overview my sister's daughter got potty trained over the Christmas break started having accidents again we went to go see her GP and he recommended unpotty training as her letter has not developed fully and she will continue on having these accidents throughout her life is this normal?

Her letter hasn’t developed?

How old is the child? What type of accidents? Have worms, UTI and constipation been ruled out?

What age?
Letter?

@2026willbebetter@dementedpixie I I'm so sorry that was meant to be bladder she's 5 she's been having accidents out of both ends and we've had most of the usual problems ruled out

Are the accidents new? How long ago did she potty train?

accidents only started New Year's Day she's been trained for about a year the only got overnight train in the last month@2026willbebetter

Is there a reason carers waited until 4 to potty train?

My sister was not a very good mom @2026willbebetter

Any abuse?

@2026willbebetter yeah scars for the rest of Her Life

I think a counsellor or play therapist or OT would be better served to advise than a gp in this case.

I suspect the issues are much more likely to be psychological. Are you in the UK? You need specialist advice. I would start with the social worker.

I mean therapy even work for a five year old? @BilboBogginsAndHisNoggins@2026willbebetter

Yes, she will need a type of play therapy.

May I ask would that be covered or would I have to pay that out of pocket? @2026willbebetter

Do you have custody of the child?

@Needspaceforlegoyes I have full custody

Pay for a continence assessment with a specially trained allied health clinician.

Okay thank you I I'm going to prioritize this @ladycardamom

You need the local continence team involved, but if she's been abused then psychological help may well be needed. Have a look at the www.eric.org.uk website, which is basically about all sorts of toilet issues in children.

Thank you so m uch I love her so much but honestly I wouldn't really mind changing her but it's just school I really need her to go she'll be 6 going in @nocoolnamesleft

Poor child.
I think I'd be asking the GP for specialist support. I don't think keeping her in nappies is an acceptable solution.

I would be tempted to get her cloth training pants. I don't mean pampers pull ups, but the cloth ones which would hold a bit of wee, getting her time to get to the loo.

I'd also have a word with school and ask she is allowed to go to toilet asap.

Good luck.

The only thing about that is I don't think she has any control she absolutely hates pooping herself but it seems to be happening again and it's causing her great discomfort so I don't think it's the child's fault @Needspaceforlego

You have a complicated situation and you need specialist advice which no one on MN can give you.

On Monday I'm 100% calling her social worker to see what we can do about this @2026willbebetter

Good luck on Monday, thankgod she’s finally got somebody like you looking after her