DS5 can't sleep alone - lockdown baby

[solemnlyswearimuptonogood]

DS5 was born into lockdown in March 2020 (may or may not be relevant). Hes never been a great sleeper - would only ever contact nap from newborn and would wake multiple times a night when he went into his own room as a toddler. The only way he has ever slept through the night is in bed with us.
Currently DH has to lie with him at bedtime (8pm) until he falls asleep but then he will wake usually between 11 and 12 and get in bed with us. Occasionally he will stay in his bed until 3/4am but not often. We have absolutely given up fighting against this as its the only way any of us can get any rest but should I be worried? Do other 5/6 year olds get themselves to sleep and stay in their own beds? I get the impression from other mums that they do. We also have DD2 in our room at the moment so it is getting cramped!

Sorry its happening, I had this with DS, he's now 37! Lockdown has nothing to do with it, some kids and adults don't sleep well.

My 6 year old ends up in bed with me most nights, she slept in her bed all night from 2-5 but now I wake up to her snuggled up.

Depends if it bothers you. I am fairly confident she won’t do it at 14 and she doesn’t disturb me so I don’t mind.

I've parented for long enough and worked with families for long enough to know that this is far more common that people realise. It's not a lockdown thing.

DS was like it and stayed that way until 7 or 8 with general improvements over time. He's 14 now and still likes to come for a cuddle before bed. But it's been many years since he crept through in the wee small hours.

It is fairly normal for some DC. You can up his exercise, make sure he’s getting enough calories and that his room is warm enough. Trying some of the techniques in the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers might help too.

We also found a light show with the same music every night helped, sleepy cream from lush and a weighted blanket had a positive effect.

What mainly sorted it out though was puberty. They will naturally start to want separate space from you at some point.

Why on earth would lockdown have anything to do with this?

Has he stopped yet?? 😂

It’s normal in our house. I’d say if it’s working for you then don’t worry about it, but if it becomes a problem then look into ways to address it.

Currently in bed with an 8 year old. I could force them into their own room, and they do sleep there of their own accord many nights, but in general everyone gets more sleep if we don’t fight over where they sleep.

everyone’s situation is different, and totally respect situations where cosleeping is not feasible, but for us it is easier to be flexible. I don’t know any parents sharing bed with12 yos, so to some extent it is just a matter of time,

He has always been quite an anxious child, hes an overthinker, struggles with being separated from me and often finds social situations stressful. Many of these attributes have been put down to 'lockdown baby' symptoms when others have noticed them so I wondered whether this could be linked.

My youngest daughter was 13.. but l became a single parent when she was 2 and only started sleeping with me then.. she is 33 now and still loves to have huge cuddles with me.

My lockdown baby 5 yo doesn’t do this but he’s a very heavy sleeper. I can completely see my non-lockdown baby 2 yo doing this though (he does now, and I can’t see it ending). He’s a much lighter sleeper. I think it’s probably more to do with how good a sleeper they are than lockdown.

Lockdown irrelevant, your newborn had zero concept of anything different. Must have been tough for you though. He would have developed the same most likely. DS is 10 and still likes to be laid with. In the last couple of years we’ve developed things that help eg he stays up until about 9pm and reads, has a podcast on, does maths etc. Around age 4-5 he was sleeping on the floor next to our bed, in a pile of duvets and pillows, as he was physically too big to be in our bed by that point.

Babies born during lockdown would generally be the least affected age group of children. Many young babies are rarely separated from their main caregiver and spend the majority of their waking hours with their immediate family. Lockdown was no different for them and not going to baby sign language classes or whatever are very unlikely to have had any sort of detrimental affect on their social or emotional development.

My son is about to turn 7 and only started sleeping alone last summer. Even now, me, him and dd (almost 4) have sleepovers some weekends, they love it and I sleep so much better not constantly listening out for ds to wake up/puke. He was a very sick baby and it's stuck with me... He's also a worrier, I imagine it's personality rather than lockdown based.

We had this with our 10 year old DS. He has a kind of general separation anxiety which has meant he’s struggled on and off with school drop off, sleepovers play dates etc. We went for counselling as it was part of a wider issue.
He stopped coming into our room around a year ago. We have a cut of off 6am. If he comes in before then we take him back to his room. To be fair he was on board with it as I think he was staring to realise he was different to friends and feeling a bit babyish. He just needed the nudge!

My 8 year old has only been sleeping on their own for the past two weeks! They have just always wanted to be with me and have (finally!) decided they are happy to sleep alone.

I can't really work out if you just want to know if its normal or if you actually want advice on how to stop it because your room is getting cramped?

For lots of people this seems to be normal. Its just training, you have to be calm and relentless in putting them back to bed and they will get it. I know a few people who this who seem to feel it will traumatise their child but by 5 you can reassure and reason with them it's not the same as cry it out.

Never even heard this term before. All natural and normal things kids do. No labels needed for effect.

DS8 was a lockdown toddler. He has some of these traits too, but I just think that’s who he is and we try to help him manage his feelings. I spent many hours sat by his bed so he would sleep when he was younger. We also had a lot of nights where he’d sleep in our bed. In the end we did some sleep training with him as I was constantly exhausted. He’s a much better sleeper now, although he does still come into our bed some nights.

If he’s anxious and struggling socially i would fill in both the Social & Emotional Ages and Stages and this progress checker from Speech and Language UK and see how he scores. He’ll probably he fine but it’s always good to check

My granddaughter, also born in 2020, is the complete opposite of this. In our school, the children born in 2020 are not particularly any different to children born at any other time.

😂 well he does split shifts these days and sleep is still poor apparently.

My grandson is a "lockdown" baby, born Feb 2020. He goes to bed with no problems and stays in bed until morning.

It's nothing to do with lockdown. My youngest born way before lockdown co slept with me until he was around 12.

My seven year old can’t fall asleep without someone (me, dad, big sister) at the moment. It’s not idea but it won’t be forever. Luckily he transfers to his bed and stays there, now. He used to keep returning to our bed which was hard as he kicked us all night….but it stopped! And so will this, eventually.

Oh and it’s not related to lockdown BUT I don’t think we’ll really know the extent of the lockdown effect on everyone who was around at the time, until later. Maybe until the children born in 2022 have come of age and can be compared to children who lived through lockdown.