DS5 can't sleep alone - lockdown baby

[solemnlyswearimuptonogood]

DS5 was born into lockdown in March 2020 (may or may not be relevant). Hes never been a great sleeper - would only ever contact nap from newborn and would wake multiple times a night when he went into his own room as a toddler. The only way he has ever slept through the night is in bed with us.
Currently DH has to lie with him at bedtime (8pm) until he falls asleep but then he will wake usually between 11 and 12 and get in bed with us. Occasionally he will stay in his bed until 3/4am but not often. We have absolutely given up fighting against this as its the only way any of us can get any rest but should I be worried? Do other 5/6 year olds get themselves to sleep and stay in their own beds? I get the impression from other mums that they do. We also have DD2 in our room at the moment so it is getting cramped!

Mine did not and could not sleep on his own. Wasn’t me or what I did. He could sleep on me,on my ex husband, on his siblings and if necessary on the Labradors -but he couldn’t sleep alone by himself. I confess my ex husband once left him to cry and insisted I do too and he just kept crying 😢 poor little mite. He was like a ninja and would creep in every night for snuggles he had to be snuggled and warm and again would go to the dog, or a sibling if he had to. I divorced ex husband when my youngest was about 9 months old. He slept with me until he was about 9/10 years old and he is a teenager now and doesn’t (his choice). He will love a nice snuggle / cuddle on the sofa but has stopped coming in. I’m pretty certain it is the warmth and heart beat he is after. We have Labradors and they snuggle up on him and vice versa. We used to put him in his bed but like stealth mode I always woke up with him snuggled in my arms soundly asleep. He was a very prem baby and diagnosed now as ASC but I don’t know if that has anything to do with it- if he is deregulated a soothing cuddle helps him enormously now a days just he takes a Labrador and just snuggles.

@Declutteringhopeful thats adorable 🥰

I think my son is neurodivergent too. This is interesting.

ive got three children and one just couldn’t not sleep on her on own. We did everything to try and get her to sleep. It was so frustrating as I would lie with her for about an hour and then by 10pm she would be in our bed, often before us. Finally at about age 9 she just stopped coming in. She still isn’t a great sleeper and will take ages to fall asleep compared to her siblings
I actually missed her once she stopped as we were so used to it.

Mine is not a lockdown baby and was exactly the same. My top tip: if you have space for a double bed put one in their bedroom. We did this and then took it in tums to sleep in with her each night. Without it we wouldn't have slept for a year.

She's 12 now and sleeps alone no problem. But does love what we call a sleepover: when she gets to sleep in my bed with me when her dad travels for work ❤️

Have you read the threads about adults on here that say they can't sleep when their partner is away?
Whilst I find that ridiculous, it isn't ridiculous for such a small person to want to share- after all you choose to share with someone.

Well. My friend’s DD is 14 and most nights, goes into their bed. They gave up fighting. If they insist , it ends up in screams and tears and the whole house is then up.

Gosh! I was just about to write - well no teenager gets in their parent's bed and then read this comment!
im quite shocked.

My DD was a very tricky sleeper. In the end, I let her sleep in my bed as my friend said she "won't want that when she's a teenager". And sure enough by year 5 or 6 she was in her own room and wouldn't dream of sleeping in my bed.

I wouldn't worry too much about your 5 yo and would enjoy the cuddles!!

Oh well, there’s plenty of room. I have a super king and 2 cats as well so it doesn’t matter. I suspect that’s very unusual though and smacks of ND or a mental health condition.

When I was 14 I was more likely to slam doors in my mums face and say “I hate you” so bed would be preferable.