Does your child talk to you like shit?

[Hagnumber4]

God I'm so fed up and demoralised.

I don't tend to shout. I assert boundaries. I listen to my children, I'm kind to them, I'm not a push over. I don't have excessive rules.

But my god my 9 year old talks to me like shit. It's like he hates me. He just screams at me and is so horrible.

I'm not really asking for tips. Just whether your child is like this

We’ve got an autistic 9 year old who has only had any verbal communication since he was 5. He still has huge language limitations now.

I swear to you, when he started learning to speak - he learned to speak with attitude. He doesn’t ask for things, he demands them, manners are an ongoing battle, if he doesn’t get his own way immediately he screams, and most instructions are met with a firm “no.”

You have to stick to your boundaries on it, or it’ll never improve. We correct his tone “oh, did you mean…?” and don’t give him a single thing until he’s cut the attitude. We don’t go out when he’s shouting, don’t do whatever activity we were doing until he’s done. Nothing.

If he’s shouting, he can shout in his room. If there’s any chance of physical harm one of us goes with him and we swap, otherwise he can trash his room - he’ll only have to tidy it back up.

I have worked in SEMH provision, and there’s no way they’re tolerating it either.

I recommend reading Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys by Noel Janis-Norton, especially the bit about descriptive praise 👍🏼