First-time mum here! What are the absolute essentials I’m missing?

[Rena001]

Aside from the usual nappies and sleepsuits, what are the 'must-haves' that saved your sanity in the first few weeks? Also, what should I be reading up on now? I’ve heard about The Lullaby Trust for safe sleep, but is there anything else I should swat up on before the sleep deprivation hits?

Babies can't be put down? Our child slept out of our arms from day one.

Co-sleeping is discouraged by the NHS and all major health organisations for a reason - it's unnecessary, dangerous and one of the main causes of SIDS. Plan to room share and use a next-to-me, but co-sleeping in the same bed should be avoided.

A rocking chair 🥰

Co-sleeping is discouraged by the NHS

This isn’t true - the NHS promotes use of the safe sleep 7 for co-sleeping.

it's unnecessary, dangerous and one of the main causes of SIDS.

This isn’t true. Co-sleeping done safely is not only a protective factor against SIDS, but actually the stats indicate it is safer than cot sleeping.

co-sleeping in the same bed should be avoided.

This just isn’t true. (Try telling it to the Japanese, Chinese, Malaysians etc!) It’s the most normal and natural thing for the mother-infant dyad.

Not for the first time, I wish people would actually spend five minutes doing some research before posting stuff that is demonstrably false.

Look at the research, read the papers, take some time to understand the stats.

Consider how pretty much everything we take as ‘normal’ is actually a social construction. Consider the influence of culture and history.

Think about who is benefiting from bed-sharing being demonised. Think about who stands to gain if babies are quickly separated into their own beds and rooms.

That’s just a starter!

I wouldn't necessarily buy one before the baby is born, but if you end up having any perineal stitches then I found peri bottle really useful. You can usually get them next day delivery from Amazon. Something like this: https://amzn.eu/d/iH8oYGT

Please stop spreading fake news.

"The safest place for your baby to sleep for the first 6 months is in a cot, lying on their back, in the same room as you."

https://www.nhs.uk/best-start-in-life/baby/baby-basics/newborn-and-baby-sleeping-advice-for-parents/safe-sleep-advice-for-babies/#co-sleeping-with-your-baby

Moreover

"The safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own separate sleep space such as a cot or Moses basket, free from toys, blankets and pillows. This helps lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)"

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/

If people want to co-sleep, go ahead. But let's not pretend that it is recommended by any reputable medical body, or that it is safer or better for the baby than sleeping in their own cot. Both of these claims are demonstrably false.

A bottle of Calpol which can be used from
2 months old. Handy to have in the cupboard in case of fever in the night.

A sealed/insulated coffee cup (eg Contigo Loop), a big water bottle you can drink lying down (eg Camelbak) and a very long phone charging cable.

A super comfortable chair.

Babies don’t need loads in their first few months. Anything you really need, Amazon Prime is there.

I second the recommendation to do your life admin before baby. I made a few (thankfully not life shattering) mistakes trying to get stuff done during nap time when I was very tired myself.

8 years later these still get used today 🤣

Yep, we’ve still got one shoved down the side of the sofa usually, comes in handy for all sorts!

Something I didn’t know until I had my baby was that everything (bottles and accessories, pump parts) need to be boiled for 5/10 mins (instructions on respective packets) before use. Easy to do before hand, but a bit tricky when sleep when deprived.

Contigo cup, water bottle and some healthy(ish) snacks for you if you’re breastfeeding. The thirst and hunger hits so hard and always the second there’s no one around to get you things and then baby wants to feed for an hour.

Definitely practice with things - car seat in and out of the car, pram up and down, attaching car seat to pram etc because I can 100% you it won’t go well when you try to do it in the pouring rain with a baby screaming blue murder when you’ve had 2 hours of broken sleep!
I really struggled with our super easy (in hindsight) pram even after having practiced it prior to baby arriving because my brain just went to mush. If I hadn’t practiced I think I’d have given up and left it in a car park somewhere.

Oh and if you bottle feed, we absolutely swore by our UV steriliser. No steamy wet parts!

I know - what on earth she on about - ‘can’t put baby down’ ‘co-sleep’ -good grief, no wonder so many first time mums are absolutely frazzled within 5 minutes.
You 💯 can put a newborn down- in fact leave them be plenty in between feeds cosy and snug in their cot unless you want a Velcro baby for months on end that only you can soothe and can’t even take a wee in peace without baby crying and becoming distressed
Bonkers advice

If I hadn’t practiced I think I’d have given up and left it in a car park somewhere

Very, very relatable.

Fill your freezer with comforting, nutritious meal you can eat with one hand/fork only.

Yes to this. A thermometer to go with this too. Also plenty of paracetamol for you. The times when you'll need them arent times when you'll want to leave the house to get them. Don't get things like lemsip if you want to breastfeed.

If you’re going to breastfeed then I cannot recommend enough getting a good big water bottle that has a straw and keeps water cold, so much easier! And a basket to keep by the bed/sofa full of snacks for you, do some meal prep from 30ish weeks and freeze them so you have home made meals easily in those early days- my best PP tips are typically food related as a mum of 2 under 2!😂