First-time mum here! What are the absolute essentials I’m missing?

[Rena001]

Aside from the usual nappies and sleepsuits, what are the 'must-haves' that saved your sanity in the first few weeks? Also, what should I be reading up on now? I’ve heard about The Lullaby Trust for safe sleep, but is there anything else I should swat up on before the sleep deprivation hits?

Lanolin nipple cream. Headphones for watching laptop during the long night feeds, a sling to get shit done in the daytime.

Get a breast pump in
super comfy nursing chair

Clothes for the first weeks for u.

A sling - a stretchy wrap or similar in the first few months, but then I moved on to a woven one and a carrier

Plan to co-sleep. You 100% can do it safely and it will make a huge difference.

Swap off nights with your partner. Dh did 7-1am and I picked up from 1am, so that except for feeds I got to sleep the first part of the night. Babies generally can’t be put down the first few weeks so one of you holds while the other sleeps and then you switch.

They don’t need much stuff, make sure you have good snacks and coffee/tea

Thermos flask. I used to fill it with tea so I always had a hot drink without getting out of bed (obviously didn’t hover hot liquids over feeding baby!).

Sleeping bags for the baby - so much less faff than constantly pulling blankets up/down. I would buy in 0.5 tog, 1 tog, 2.5 tog. There’s info at the lullaby trust on which tog to use.

If you don’t have a decent waterproof coat and boots, buy one. Buggy walks have to happen regardless of the weather. Ditto rain cover for pram.

Nice, loose clothes to wear for the first couple of months, easy things you can throw on - leggings, long sleeve button down t shirts if planning to breastfeed, that sort of thing. I live in jeans normally and was stuck between those (too small) and my old maternity wear for a while. I found having something easy to throw on helps in the whole ‘getting out the door’ thing.

Prep and freeze meals ahead of birth so you have something quick but healthy to eat.

Also, give yourself permission in advance to not beat yourself up or sacrifice your own wellbeing in the event breastfeeding doesn’t turn out how you hoped (if you’re planning to breastfeed) and that it’s ok to switch to formula.

Oh and a water bottle with straw for when you need water but are nap trapped with a baby!

Muslin cloths, babies spit up loads, always have a muslin to hand/draped over your shoulder, makes life a lot easier.

Babies can't be put down fir the first few weeks? Since when??

Babies need to feed, sleep, be warm and be transported safely. A lot of the other stuff is just window dressing.

Reading... baby/child First Aid. (Or a course). Hopefully you never need it but its a reassurance knowing you have done it.

Practice installing the car seat, adjusting the straps etc.(and your partner... once helped an embarrassed dad I the hospital car park on his way to pick up his newborn but couldn't get the seat out the car!)

Chairs... we discovered that our really comfy sofa wasn't that good for feeding as it was difficult to get out of with a sleeping baby in our arms. Ended up in IKEA with a 7 day out baby trying out armchairs!
On that note... a feeding station Especially if breastfeeding with everything you need close at hand... chargers, remotes, kindle, water bottle etc in easy teach. You can be stuck there ages.

Breast pads and maternity pads for the first few weeks - you may need more than you think. Running out isn't fun. In addition to lanolin nipple cream (a must), I'd recommend silver nipple cups. Might not need them but if breastfeeding is tricky, the combo is a life saver! Second the sleeping bags too. I always swore by swaddling newborns but apparently that isn't advised anymore.

Now we have Google, I'm not sure how much extra needing you need to do in advance but remember to use it when you need it - someone will always have solved any problem you come up against.

Congratulations!

You don't need to plan to cosleep, if you don't want to. Definitely look up how to do it safely, but my baby had no issue going down in her cot for the first 4 months. And she could definitely be put down. It's not all doom and gloom, having a newborn.

I actually found that was the easy bit!

Everything can be collected or delivered to you within 24hrs so don't panic buy. Every baby is different. I was told I needed thousands of muslins, first baby literally never needed them and I thought it had been a weird joke - then had second baby and bam, I understand it now!

Probably the most beneficial thing for me both times round was the sling. Swot up on how to tie it cos the long fabric ones are the best for newborns but you also need a Masters to understand the tying. Or just buy yourself a close caboo which is suitable from 5lb which doesnt need as much gymnastics for tying. Also swot up on safe sling wearing which is especially important for newborns.

You've got this - there's some hard moments ahead but having my babies is without doubt the best thing I've ever done and has brought me joy in abundance x

”babies can’t be put down in the first few weeks”!

Really?
I had twins. My dh went back to work after one week so we didn’t have this luxury. But seriously I didn’t know this was a thing.

Does this not create a clingy baby? I’m not being an arse, genuinely asking.

Assemble/ do a run through of everything you will need to use the first day you get baby home even if you're not sure you'll use it.

So easy to say finding things/ opening boxes/ assembling things "will only take five minutes" when you're not sleep deprived and don't have a newborn crying!

I have a five week old and we had next 2 me (don't forget to have the sheet on already), changing station etc ready already thank God.

However breastfeeding didn't work out and trying to get bottles/ steriliser/ formula sorted when we got home from the hospital and baby was hungry was a nightmare!

Wish I had taken the bottles out of the packet, cleaned them, practiced using the steriliser, even making up a bottle, when not totally sleep deprived.

I don't think so. I had no problems putting my baby down as a newborn and I still have a very clingy 14 month old.

Are you planning to breastfeed? If so, read and watch videos on it now, rather than sleep deprived and worried at 3am. Find an infant feeding cafe / support group so you know where to go if you need help with latch etc. It's great for building confidence feeding in public too.

Newborn stomachs are tiny but lots of people who want to BF stop because they don't think they have enough milk; your milk supply is demand-based so if you start topping up with formula because of this rather than offering more breastfeeds then your body doesn't get the message to produce more milk in the following days. I had constant pressure from in-laws to give a top up as "he can't possibly still be hungry" but clusterfeeding is normal. Best of luck!

It might though. If you don't put the baby down to sleep they may rely on you to get them to sleep. I've seen it many times

Read up on cloth nappies and wipes. The wipes hands down are so much better than disposables I would recommend them to every mum. The nappies are more mum specific but they aren't as much work as you would imagine and they contain the poo so much better than disposables. We have never had a poo leak on to clothing with cloth but regularly with disposables

I would get as little as possible in advance. All babies are different. I have a 5 year old and a 4 months old, they were only 30g in birth weight but the 4 month old was 5 weeks before he fitted into the clothes the 5 yo came home from hospital in. 5 yo slept peacefully for the first 3 weeks then starting fussing and develop reflux and never slept well after that. 4 mo was such and incredibly noisy sleeper for the first 10 weeks had to be held to keep him quiet so I could sleep but now sleeps really well.

One hated being swaddles one loved it. My first was a nightmare to get into sleep suits and I switched to PJ's as it was impossible to get all 4 limbs in. My second is a calm happy and just lies there. We lived out of the freezer with my first but have barely used the prepared meals with my second

The two things that have made a difference to me is sensor lights, we had cupboard lights when we had our first in the hallway and bathroom so they came on as I walked past them. We have replaced some of our lights with ones that detect movement and they make life so easy being able to walk into a room without having to find light switches in the dark when you have your hands full. Our utility room and porch are the two that have made the most difference. I also have a lumie lamp and I can turn that light on just enough to see so I'm not waking myself up too much in the night

I've never seen it 🤷‍♀️ I think it's just a difference in temperament, in most cases.

I have done this with both of mine and one was clingy and one isn't. The clingy one had health issues which were the bigger issues.
My gran used to always tell me that babies are meant to be held so it just something we've always done in the family

I second planning to bed-share. If I had done that an embraced it from day 1 then I’d have saved my sanity big time and I mean that from an actual mental health perspective.

Something not often thought about but that really helped us was motion censor lighting that was quite dim. You get these little, portable lights that have a nice orange light that really help when getting up in the night and you don't want to put on the big light. Good in hallways and things for when your moving around to get bottles, do nappy changes or just to go to the loo. We still use ours now for the bathroom.
If you do end up bottle feeding the perfect prep machines are the best thing since sliced bread and we lasted one night without one. We actually had two. One upstairs and one down as it takes 30 seconds to make a bottle with them and no worrying about it having to cool down etc. Also, again if you end up bottle feeding, buy lots of the little pre-maid one use bottles. They are expensive but it buys you time and energy as you find your feet. We also used a lot of towels and things everywhere, as ours were sicky babies. If yours are, then dot them around everywhere.

But who honestly has time to hold their baby all the time? Especially when it's not necessary

Sound machine. Helps them at night but also frowns oit the baby noises that they make all night.