Can anyone recommend books/podcasts/resources for parenting a chronically inflexible, strong-willed, hot-tempered almost 5 year old?
I've heard of the explosive child but many seem to suggest it's for slightly older kids and we are in the trenches now. It's not a new situation, she's been like it for at least two years, but having tried everything I can think of to help her I'm running out of steam. If everything is going her way she's the most considerate, charming, funny, helpful, reasonable little soul, but the second something is suggested that she doesn't want/like and watch out. So many things trigger her and everything I've tried seems to make the situation worse.
It's reached a point where the best we can do is try not to antagonise her, but tip-toeing around the youngest member of the household doesn't feel like the healthiest long-term solution.
Looking for any pearls of wisdom which might help us help her through this. If I spoke or acted out of turn as a kid my parents would either hit me or lock me in my room where I would feel terrible about myself and ended up self-harming and thinking badly about myself for decades. As an adult I had therapy and learned to process my anger so it's these techniques I've been trying to share with her. The difference is I hate feeling angry and wanted to change, she seems to frickin thrive on it.
Books I've tried so far:
Calmer, happier, easier parenting
How to talk so little kids will listen
Angry parent, angry child
The book you wish your parents had read