To be 1 year old still being spoon fed…

[patsypam]

My DS is soon be be 1. And just as the title says, he’s still being spoon fed. I’ve done a mix of feeding from 6 months, puree and finger food. He’ll ether just sit and stare at the finger food, or will pick it up and mush it everywhere and fling it, he very very rarely will pick it up and put it in his mouth.
I’ve tried pre loading spoons for him, he ether picks up the wrong end or just smacks it against his tray so all the food ends up everywhere and then throws the spoon on the floor. So again, no food in his mouth.

The only time he actually ingests food is it I’m spoon feeding him or putting finger food in his mouth.

He seems to still be really fussy with texture too, despite having a big variety since 6 months. I don’t know if it’s a lazy thing as it seems as though anything he has to chew consistently for abit he’ll spit back out.

I’ve done the whole put food infront of him, leave him to it. Eat with him, let him eat off my plate, loaded cutlery etc etc, every time he eats virtually nothing.

Where as if I’m feeding him, for example he’ll eat and good sized portion of cottage pie or spaghetti bolognese, fruit, a yoghurt, and maybe a rusk. (Which he’ll eat himself)

the only things he will eat alone is Ella’s kitchen melt sticks / puffs, occasionally fruit, he sometimes attempts a sandwich but it’s like he doesn’t have a clue how to eat it and mostly just smooshed it all over his mouth until it’s fallen into a million little pieces.

He starts with a childminder in the new year - and I’m at a loss and honestly exasperating from trying. It’s really getting me down.
Or am I expecting too much?? I’m not expecting him to be spooning dinners off a plate or bowl and feeding himself a full meal, but he just doesn’t seem to want to try and feed himself.

Hes down to 3x 7 oz bottles a day. Which he normally doesn’t finish. One first thing in the morning, breakfast is normally 1.5-2 hours after, then lunch, then a bottle before his nap and then dinner and a bottle before bed.

I think he’s hit all other milestones rolling, crawling, was walking before 11 months, says mama, dada, claps. (Doesn’t point or wave yet and the rest of his speech is pretty much babble and screech’s.) At our last HV visit she was happy with him. And commented on how active he is (which he is, he does not stop!)

Help as I’m loosing my mind stressing over it….

Have a look on The Infant and Toddler Forum
Lots of factsheets on there with helpful advice for parents and professionals.
Try not do stress as he will pick up on this. Will he explore different textures in play in a tray or Tuff Spot?

Yeah, absolutely fine with texture in any other aspect, bar food. Thank you. I will take a look. X

Does he have his own spoon ? Or plastic fork so he could be digging away whilst you feed him? Id put a little bit in a bowl for him and you have another plate and let him play with a little bit, I know its all about BLW these days but its fine he will get there.

Normal

I’ve tried this also, he ether picks the bowl/plate up and throws it/tips it on the floor. I use the suction ones but they’re crap and he easily gets it up. Or just ignores it.. x

I would just feed him give him a piece of what hes having to hold and just spoon feed him, do you give him snacks out of meal times does he just throw them about as well?

Sounds like my son. He didn’t get into food until we properly dropped milk bottles (at one - he was ill and refusing a bottle so we never went back). His food intake rocketed but he’s never been brilliant at finger foods. Recently nursery have taught him to use a spoon himself better (at 16 months) but he still prefers “spoonable” textures and will sometimes ask us to do it for him (feed him). Definitely no sandwiches. I don’t think it’s unusual and I’m not worried at all about it. I think try and let it go while he’s having so much milk!

He’s still so young!

He really is young i don't think its anything to worry about.

My 4.5 yo would still be spoon fed if I allowed it out of laziness/seeking connection! She didnt eat anything more than a yoghurt until I weaned her from breastmilk at about 15 months. She gradually improved and is now a fab eater but it took a lot of perseverance to get here. I used to stress no end, but having two more children has made me realise how different they all are in terms of appetite and preferences. We have a very adult lens of when and what they should be eating, but kids are intuitive! As long as they are content and growing and have energy, I shouldn't think there's a need to worry xx

Once he’s one, we will continue with the formula until it’s all used up (which won’t be longer than a month past his first birthday). I’ll then be switching to whole milk, I’m hoping to do a morning bottle and bedtime bottle and drop the lunchtime bottle, but I’ve no idea how that’ll work, trial and error I guess!

He does have a sippy cup with a valved weighted straw which he drinks water out of, which I’m thinking of giving his morning milk to him in, however he doesn’t consistently drink from it, he’ll take a sip and then drop or leave it. I’ve tried other bottles with no success.

It isn’t so much how he’s eating which is worrying me, as if I feed him, he’ll eat really well. It’s more the fact he’s got zero interest in trying to feed himself, pick up food or use utensils virtually at all despite 6 months of perseverance. Xxxx

@CRbear@CoffeeishotI keep thinking this, but everything I read or see online says they should be self feeding and shows kids his age inhaling food themselves. I know… comparison is the thief of joy, but it keeps making me feel like I’m doing something wrong and failing him.

Honestly he isnt even 1 yet I worked with babies and young children for decades from the late 80s to a few years ago and nothing has really changed in baby development over the years they all do their own thing till it finally clicks.

That’s reassuring. He’s a good appetite if being spoon fed/finger fed by me. if I do it all, in a day he’ll have a adult portion of porridge (the pre portioned sachets) with whole milk, sugar free jam and chai seeds and he’ll eat it all.

lunch is always very much a miss, as I try to make this finger foods so not much gets eaten, but it can be cheese on toast/sandwich, carrot potato waffles etc, with some fruit and a yoghurt.

Dinner can be stew, chicken casserole, cottage pie, spaghetti bolognese etc, fruit and a yoghurt. Which he’ll eat all of give or take.

but if I left him to it, it’d end up on the floor, stared at, or just flung everywhere.

He’s growing great and has energy by the barrel load (maybe a little too much 😂) I just keep thinking I’ve failed him by him not being willing or able to do it himself. X

My now 3 year old would eat finger food ok but anything sauce like I still spoon fed him til he was about 2.5. unfortunately he's now suspected arfid so won't go near anything liquid like. The only thing close is Weetabix and I still have to spoon feed him that because he just refuses. Definitely keep trying with the blow but at 1 spoon feeding is still ok I think. Especially if that's the only time he actually eats a good portion

I don’t give many snacks as I read they aren’t recommended before 1, but occasionally he’ll have some melty sticks if we are out and about in the pram and he’s getting restless, he’ll happily eat away at them most the time! X

Just chill out.

You won't be spoon feeding him Bolognese on his 18th birthday will you? He will do it at some point.

Cut the rusks out though. He doesn't need those. They're rubbish.

Yeah i was meaning the melty things or a bit of fruit if he is making it hand to mouth then he is doing fine 🙂

He’s days away from being 1. But thank you, that’s reassuring. I probably should of added, I’m a first time mum, so this is all so new to me and all you have to compare the norm with is social media and forums where people are saying there kids ate on their own from 6 months and I then find myself stressing irrationally about it and doubting I’m doing right by him. X

He’s a baby still! Honestly, step away from MN and the zealous BLWers and let him carry on at his own pace.

No of course not.

Im a first time mum, I probably worry irrationally but when online advice suggests he should be doing it and I have no comparison it’s difficult not to overthink.

I did state in my original post, ‘am I expecting too much’. Maybe I am, and hearing that reassurance from other posters/mums has been helpful.

I'm a childminder and I really wouldn't worry too much!

Keep going with finger foods but avoid any packaged snacks or melty puffs, they're terrible for them.

Once he's 12 months, cut down to just the bedtime bottle - you can offer a small cup of cow's milk in the morning and afternoon too.

Fine to keep spoonfeeding yoghurt and stews etc but make sure you always offer some pieces of fruit, veg, toast, porridge fingers too.

Thank you, that’s reassuring. The melty things more so, fruit, very occasionally. But will keep going and be assured he’ll get there. I’m also hopeful once he starts at the childminder and is sat with other kids eating, he’ll pick it up a little too. X

Hey @patsypam .
I dont know if the quote is still used but when my dd was born (9 years ago!) It was said 'food is fun before one' I think its easy to get stressed because a week can feel like a month when its not going "right" . Try to be as relaxed as possible as he might be picking up om your stresses too. I'm sure things will settle soon.