Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Footballs over the fence - AAARRGGHHH!!!

81 replies

ssd · 09/06/2008 22:49

we live in a tiny house with a tiny strip of a garden. both ds's are football mad, ds1 esp. kicked a ball before he could walk

elderly, well in her 60'2 neighbour is very fond of her gardening and has every type of flower imaginable in her tiny strip of garden

we have a large fence and we recently put up trellis to try to raise it up further

the boys football goes over the fence on average once/twice every few weeks, they play well but at 7 and 9 sometimes hit it too high and it goes over in accident

said neighbour goes mad, that ball broke a stem etc etc.

this has been going on for a few years now

boys can't go to the local park alone as too far and they get told off by other neighbours for playing in the street in case a car gets scratched(they've never done this)

I'm at my wits end, I'm constantly telling the boys not to play which to them means don't play football, as I said ds1 is football mad, has many other things to play with but only interested in a ball

is there anyone esle with this problem, feel like I'm going mad, have phoned the community police who said you both have to live together, but neighbour is on my case whenever I step out the door

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bozza · 12/06/2008 19:45

Yes DS is just the same. I am forever telling him off for kicking stones with his school shoes. He sometimes plays with balloons on the hall, with the cupboard at the end being the goal. He used to play similarly with bouncy balls on the hall but that was getting too rough so I have stopped that.

Today both DH and I were working, but DS has been on the field at lunchtime and also with the childminder for a good hour after school. But when we got home at 5.30 he went out with his ball while I threw some food together and managed to kick it over once.

Original poster

ssd · 12/06/2008 19:48

sounds like our house bozza!

BTW your kids are really cute!

OP posts:

Mutt · 12/06/2008 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

ssd · 12/06/2008 20:16

mmm, good idea!

OP posts:

FairyMum · 12/06/2008 20:21

I with you SSD. Your neighbours sounds miserable. I am sure their plants are lovely, but children should be able to play football in their own garden. Children are more important than flowers.

FrannyandZooey · 12/06/2008 20:22

oh gosh i don't think YABU
we have next door's ball over several times every single day and they have destroyed the fence by kicking balls at it and shout non stop for ds to go and get the ball back when they have kicked it over - even if it is 9.30 at night (ds is 5 )

now THAT is annoying - once or twice every few weeks is NOT
I would adopt Mutt's tactics though

Mutt · 12/06/2008 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Milliways · 12/06/2008 20:35

Our neighbours on one side are great - they will throw a ball back anytime, but TBH we are returning theirs more often as their grandchildren are always coming to take advantage of the big garden

Actually, we have a huge garden & STILL loose balls.

The kids learned VERY quickly though not to let them go the other side, where it is SO overgrown you have no hope of finding anything. Literally, the cow parsley is 6-8'high and nettles are everywhere. The neighbours have tried on our behalf, & offerred our kids to go round, but we now know it's lost if it goes there (or one of their 8 dogs will get it!)

We also try to not let things sail over the back onto any mourners in the cemetry....

FairyMum · 12/06/2008 20:51

Yes Mutt, but then they should go and live somewhere they don't have neighbours. Honestly, I think its very sad if children can not play football in their gardens anymore because of the neighbours plant. I see it as part of this miserable attitude so many people have towards children in this country.

cba · 12/06/2008 20:53

I have two sons who are football mad. Luckily my neighbour also has two older boys, so we are regularly exchanging balls over the fence.

Not a problem, I only request is that if it is bathtime the neighbours boys help themselves.

Mutt · 12/06/2008 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMum · 12/06/2008 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMum · 12/06/2008 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bozza · 12/06/2008 21:23

Oh thank you ssd.

kerry I would be quite happy for DS to play with his football out front - there is a grassed area, but then DD wants to go out too and she is too young.

Mutt's charm offensive sounds good.

Original poster

ssd · 12/06/2008 21:33

TBH I hope it doesn't sound like my kids are ruining her flowers right left and centre as thats not the case. The last time the ball went in she kept hold of it, which is fair play, but when she gave it back I got a twenty minute lecture that THAT BALL BROKE A STEM , yes ONE STEM.....also the way she speaks to my kids when they do ask for it back is really nasty and as if they are scum for kicking a ball. she had ds2 in tears a few years ago when he was 4 and a blow up, small beach ball brushed against her car. I think thats what gets me really, I do inderstand she is very garden proud and I don't want our ball hitting her flowers as I know she takes care of them, but it's her lofty attitude with us and the fact she doesn't except anything she does might annoy us, eg. I told her I can hear her tv and I got a lecture on how I can't possibly hear it, although I could ell her what she watched the previous evening as it was on so loud.

OP posts:

Original poster

ssd · 12/06/2008 21:39

Kerry, the last time my ds1 (10) played in the road a neighbour called the police and the police stopped ds1 and told him not to play football "there", eg. right in front of his house on the road. And before anyone asks, no he's never damaged a car.

OP posts:

KerryMum · 12/06/2008 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ssd · 13/06/2008 07:46

I agree, TBH I'm very sensitive about all this because we have had so much aggro from certain neighbours and as dh or I are always out checking the kids or playing with them, we seem to be the only parents who get the aggro as most other parents put their kids out to play and closes the door and you never see them. Sometimes dh is out playing footie with a crowd of wee boys with him as well as our dh and we feel like saying to some other parents "can't you come out and play with your own kids", dh is like the pied piper with the kids following him about round here.

OP posts:

Original poster

ssd · 13/06/2008 07:48

as well as our dc's, not dh!!

one's enough!

OP posts:

jammi · 13/06/2008 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

ssd · 13/06/2008 09:25

yes I hate it all too

we've been told its illegal for kids to ride their bikes on the pavement, but the older neighbours drive so fast the raods aren't safe for the wee ones, been told kids should all be in kids clubs or in their gardens, kids shouldn't play in the street(lowered the tone of the neighbourhood since we moved in ),shouldn't play out front or in the private road behind us, they shouldn't play with chalk in front of our house ( as I should know where THAT leads to), they shouldn't climb the trees in our garden in case they break a branch on their side(its our tree!!) and on and on and on

dh is now at the stage of telling the complainers to eff off, he's had it with them all, I'm the one apologising and being nice but honestlt its got me nowhere

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 13/06/2008 09:38

How old are they? Would you be happy for them to go the park with some other friends? Or are they still really young? We are in a similar situation to you - tiny garden, can't play footie in the cul-de-sac but we do have a park very close. Mine have being going to the park without me since they were about 9. With strict rules in place and usually with an older child. It is hard though. When everyone is banging on about childhood obesity and children needing to get out more....difficult if you have a small garden (or no garden).

Original poster

ssd · 13/06/2008 09:40

they are 7 and 10 and the park is a 45 minute walk away

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 13/06/2008 09:41

And don't get me started about police and 'anti-social' behaviour of children .

littlefrog · 13/06/2008 09:42

our neighbours ds (16 at the time) used to play football in their garden and then climb over the wall into ours to get it back. he did ask if this was ok when we moved in, and tbh it never occured to me to say no. I did feel sad though when stems were broken - not many, but one really lovely branch of a rose, and the lovely new (single) stem of a delphinium. there's nothing you can do, and anyway the foxes and pigeons do much worse, but still, it does hurt when all your tlc goes for nothing.
Is v difficult. no right answers!

Flip

1 2 3 4