Footballs over the fence - AAARRGGHHH!!!

[ssd]

we live in a tiny house with a tiny strip of a garden. both ds's are football mad, ds1 esp. kicked a ball before he could walk

elderly, well in her 60'2 neighbour is very fond of her gardening and has every type of flower imaginable in her tiny strip of garden

we have a large fence and we recently put up trellis to try to raise it up further

the boys football goes over the fence on average once/twice every few weeks, they play well but at 7 and 9 sometimes hit it too high and it goes over in accident

said neighbour goes mad, that ball broke a stem etc etc.

this has been going on for a few years now

boys can't go to the local park alone as too far and they get told off by other neighbours for playing in the street in case a car gets scratched(they've never done this)

I'm at my wits end, I'm constantly telling the boys not to play which to them means don't play football, as I said ds1 is football mad, has many other things to play with but only interested in a ball

is there anyone esle with this problem, feel like I'm going mad, have phoned the community police who said you both have to live together, but neighbour is on my case whenever I step out the door

No, actually they should go in and play megadeath3 on their playstation for 6 hours straight retiredgoth, rather than jeopardise someones treasured crysanths!

Quite so.

I feel nurturing a race of pale, mad eyed youths is a small price to pay for protecting B and Q's finest hanging baskets....

SSD, have you talked to you lovely neighbour about the effect of her late-night dinner parties?!

Thing is we can think the neighbour is a cranky old bint as much as we like. HOWEVER it is her garden and the OP's kids are interfering with it (albeit only occasionally).

OP as she has asked you to stop it from happening, if the ball DOES hit someone causing injury or actually causes serious damage (i.e. through a window or something) you are completely liable for it.

Would it bother me personally? Maybe/maybe not, it does however bother HER and it is HER garden so you need to stop your kids from doing it.

No-one is saying they can't play football in their yard we are just saying that the football needs to stop going over the fence. I reckon some SERIOUS consequences (maybe taking the ball away for a week or something like that) the next time it happened would sort it out.

It ultimately doesn't matter what we think, it matters whether you think she would expect/be entitled to compensation if something actually happened and whether you are prepared to pay it.

of course if the ball broke/damaged something we'd pay, we quite understand that

as usual on mn there's more to the story

my kids have been told they can't kick a ball on front of our house, or on the pavement, now they aren't allowed to kick a ball in the garden

so what are 2 football mad kids meant to do, stay in and play the pc all day? as much as I like flowers, i feel my neighbour on't take on board she lives next to a family with 2 kids and they aren't girls that'll play in a wendy house

BTW she had boys herself, but told me they grew up in a MUCH bigger house with plenty garden space and balls weren't a problem for her......unfortunately she's now living in a house half the size of her family home and having to put up with neighbours who don't have a big garden....

and to wotulookinat, I do know noise and footballs are two different things, but we haven't complained about the numerous times she's kept our kids awake with her parties, but the minute she see's a ball she's in at us compaining, I just feel there has to be a bit of live and let live

I would still be worried about legal action if she or someone else was injured.

Not saying she isn't being a bit mean.

It should be said though that I have spent the last 14 years working for lawyers and have seen some pretty ridiculous personal injury claims being brought and won for much less than a football to the head from the kid's next door.

If she is already narky I would be concerned.

the only injury so far is to a begonia, but thanks for your advice, I'll remember it.

its v hard this- my neighbour (cow)after the eldest 2 ds accidently threw ds3s tellytubby ball into her garden( a bombsite full of building debris and dog poo) called ds3 over the wall in a sickly sweet voice 'i think your ball is here in my garden' 'ohh ty' says ds3 full of glee at the return of his tellytubby ball - she threw it to him cut in half ds3 was about 4 and was gutted .

such a shame her car got clamped for having had no road tax for 2 years

Once or twice every few weeks for a few years now? So we're probably talking about a hundred separate occasions when a ball has gone into her garden (and, if it's as packed with plants as you say, it's probably damaged a plant on each of those occasions).

I think I would go for a training football on a rope when they are in your back garden.

at footballs are for parks!
I sympathise ssd. We are always kicking the ball into next door and tho we don?t have the plant anger problem I think the neighbours (who have DDs who don?t seem to play ball) are getting a bit fed up.
All mine, esp DS2, want to do is kick a ball and I can?t take them to the park (15 mins walk) every time (eg when we come in from school and before we go out to Brownies etc).

Try a heavy ball that might stay in the garden better? It?s the lighter balls that go over with us.

I?m amazed at some of the comments here actually. Football over the fence once a week not OK???? Blimey we kick one over most days, and so do our neighbours the other way. Gosh maybe my neighbour is more tolerant than I thought?.

I totally sympathise ssd. But maybe that is because I have a football mad 7yo. And his ball is sometimes in next door's garden once or twice a day. But after the second time it is the end of football for that day. Fortunately for me I have non-precious neighbours with children of their own. I only allow DS to play with a plastic ball in the garden. And I do like gardening and plants and would prefer that certain areas of my borders weren't bare because the ball always runs onto them because of sloping garden and that I didn't have goal mouth and penalty spot bare patches. I wouldn't allow them to play with a leather ball in the garden because there is the very real possibility of broken windows and pots.

I don't think people really understand football mad little boys. DS lives and breathes it - comes bounding into my bedroom for the evening scores at 7 am, came 4th in DH's work fantasy league, lays on his bedroom floor comparing and contrasting his selection of football annuals. But personally I would much rather he was kicking a real ball round than doing Fifa on his DS. And he does go to the park 3 days a week after school with his CM, he is in the local under 8s, etc but it is still not enough.

lol at penalty spot bare patches Bozza - I hear ya!

do they have a goal net?

so they can aim at that rather than randomly kicking a ball about?

Yes I was thinking that misdee - but accidentally posted on a different thread! If you had a goal that was located away from the offended neighbour's garden would that help? I know that the position of our goal means that the ball usually goes over the same fence.

We're such an understanding, child-loving nation aren't we?

When did we get to the stage where people seriously consider the legal implications of someone suing for damages because a child accidentally kicks a ball over a neighbours' fence.

It's a football, not a missile.

Once or twice every few weeks is not the big deal that some posters have implied it is.

Agree with HMC and retired goth.

That golf net sounds a good idea, ssd.

You sound like you live in an area surrounded by miserable old grumps.

Rise above it if you can.

Failing that, make sure you water the garden with the hosepipe next time your neighbour has a late dinner party in the garden - prove to her that your sons have inherited their sense of direction from you!

I have to be honest my ds has done the same in the past. Balls flying here there and everywhere that I had to clamp down and cut down on him having the ball out there. It sneakily appears on an occasion but I had to limited strictly on the whole. I have a lovely neighbour who just throws them back when he sees them in his garden but I just couldnt bear it happening all the time and worried about his plants. We did buy one of those strappy things that go around the waist but I dont think its much of a hit with ds

our neighbours ball used to come into our garden all the time

after about 3 times of knocking at the front door, I left the back gate open and told them to get it themselves

I do not have a begonia obsession though

also, where do you draw the line?

dd1 was hit in the face with a football at the park, are they to be banned there too? where do I lodge my claim for her injury (a red cheek)?

Ooh I got hit by a football the other week too olive. Was on the touchline of the football pitch but you'd think they could keep it on the pitch, wouldn't you?

lol

dd1 was minding her own business, walking along eating an ice cream

she did wail on, you would think she had been shot

boy came over full of apologies and his parents were sorry, but it was an accident, she wasn't target practice (I hope)

my mil bought our ds 1-3 a soft fluffy indoor football which they kick around the living room incessantly ( obviousy we dont have any items of value in there or indeed anywhere in the house with 3 boys!)

thank god we're not alone, i was beginning to think MN WAS FULL OF POEPLE LIKE MY NeIGHBOUR [WINK] oops!

the ball on a string thing won't work, ds1 is 10 and really good at footie and way beyond the ball on a string thing, he'd probably blast himself over the garden fence

thanks for all replies though, there isn't an easy answer, its down to peoples attitudes more than an age thing, my mum of 80 tells the kids at hers to come in the garden and get the ball themselves as she can't get up to get it, she says "well the kids have got to play", wish she lived next door to us (BTW she told me to tell my neighbour to get a life, and she's house bound!!)

and my mum has a beautiful garden with lots of plants, she just realises kids accidently kick the ball over sometimes

We always told our 3 boys they weren't to play football in the garden once we moved here because the garden is far too small.

Next door decided that size didn't matter and their one boy used to be out lobbing balls against the fence all the time. I got so sick of him banging on the door every day demanding his ball back ( now during dinner; bathtime; etc etc). And the constant bang bang bang of the ball hitting the fence (which eventually split).

I can imagine it must be infuriating if you've put a lot of work into your garden for someone's ball to destroy it.

From your OP sounds like you are expecting your neighbour to put up with the consequences of your children playing in an unsuitable garden but don't expect to have to put yourself out to take them to the park?

Your neighbour isn't saying they can't play, just not kick it over her fence. I can't think that is unreasonable of her.

I'm laughing at the don't expect to put yourself out comment! Thats really funny! You obviously don't know me or dh who is out kicking the ball with ds2 just now in the local playarea, just like he does almost every night, although not when he's giving up 2 nights a week and most of Saturday coaching with the local boys team...... I could go on

funny how a ball divides people so much, guess if you don't have a son (or 2!) who is footie mad and not a little boy anymore, eg. in double figures age wise!, its a hard one to "get", my 2 would turn anything into a ball, an empty drinks carton, a ball of wool, each other - no only joking!