I am in a relationship of 4 years, we both have daughters about 2 years apart age 11 and 13 and share custody with co-parents. I feel blessed both our daughters embrace the relationship and get on well, as I know these configurations can be less than harmonious sometimes if the age or gender gap is too great or clashing parenting styles make those relationships difficult. We live separately but in the same part of London. I have been cautious of blending our families thus far, I feel sensitive that our kids feel comfortable before making a move together and also that our relationship is stable and we have been happy living separately as we both own our own houses. This is a small gripe but I would like help processing my feelings as I don't know if they are jealousy or parental concern and appropriateness and I have had similar feelings in the past. My partner and I don't get much time together due to opposing parenting and work obligations, so there is a feeling of scarcity present and we would love more time together. Anyway, a few weekends ago, my partner took his daughter out for dinner. Before the dinner he took her to another small restaurant for a drink/something to do. This is one of our favourite places it is intimate and cosy and for grown ups. We have had a lot of special memories there. He then wanted to take her to a new wine bar that has just opened which has a lot of buzz around it before going for their meal. I felt a bit pissed off about those choices. Partly because I felt like 'wow, can't he differentiate between a date and time with his daughter?' and 'really? you think it's appropriate to go to a cool buzzy wine bar with your 13 year old daughter on a Saturday evening. How will she feel about that when she is a few years older and may not idolise him or view memories with a different lens'. I guess I still feel both of these thoughts and feelings. I do wonder if it's an appropriate way to spend time with her, is he doing that because she is providing company in a way that adults her before her time? Kids should be kids imo. There is plenty of time for this stuff in adulthood. I kinda feel he is making her bend to his companionship/social needs rather than the other way round. Although am I just feeling this way because she is growing up into a young woman, would I feel the same if he had a son? Yes there is also jealousy. I guess I would like one area of our life to remain 'ours' - romantic and sexy. Time away From parenting. Somehow sharing our haunts feels off. I appreciate how well she shares her Dad with me, and I only feel this way when he does things that I feel represent something I thought of as 'ours'. Am I being out of order? I haven't mentioned anything, and would worry to do so. It's a tricky subject.