Why are my children so poorly / susceptible?

[NCev]

I am genuinely worried that my two DC have immune issues that need to be investigated.

My DC1 is just 2 and has had: suspected infection when born, chickenpox (twice!), RSV, bronchiolitis, at least 10 + ear infections (we've gone to see a specialist about this and recommended grommets), tonsillitis, RSV again, viral skin infections. And obviously multiple coughs, colds, sickness bugs.

My DC2 is 6 months and has had blood infection when born, bronchiolitis, viral meningitis, tonsillitis, and most recently hospitalised for RSV, bronchiolitis and adenitis. He's also had a permanent cold since he was born.

We are a very normal, very clean family. We all eat very well, get lots of fresh air and excerise. I am just going out of my mind that this doesn't seem normal. The amount of hospital visits, weeks of antibiotics, and various meds is really concerning to me. The doctors tell us this is normal but obviously we see a different one every time. Has anyone else ever has it this bad? Or is this within normal range?

Thank you x

Sorry OP, that sounds tough. A few queries for context;

Have they had their jabs?

Are they at nursery (or otherwise in contact with lots of other germy children)?

It does sound on the higher side, but still within the realms of just having got unlucky imo.

The one thing which might help, that springs to mind, is working to improve their microbiome. Especially as they have been on lots of antibiotics x

What do you eat?

To boost your immune system and theirs - a good variety of fruit & veg, Greek yoghurt, plenty of fresh air and a daily mulit-vit.

But some times, dcs just catch a torrent of bugs and it seems like it will never end.

My DD was like this, and we even ended up in hospital a few times. I was out of my mind with worry. After the age of 6 she was never really ill again.

How clean is very clean? I had a pal as a kid whose mam was obsessively clean, everything was constantly absolutely sparkling and she used antibacterial everything on everything constantly. My pal was always sick, well into her teens. Overuse of antibacterials can actually be detrimental to overall health.

You specifically call yourself “a very clean family”, I would query that perhaps. Being overly fastidious with cleaning can be counterproductive when it comes to keeping us healthy. You mention you are trying to work on the gut biome of your eldest, which is absolutely a great thing to do - living in a slightly ‘dirty’ home will help that as we need exposure to natural microbiomes that you can clean away

edited to add cross post with judgebread

Exactly what I was going to say. I also had a friend growing up whose mum was always cleaning and she was allergic to everything and was always ill. My mum was a bit slovenly and we were very rarely ill. Kids need a bit of dirt to build up their immune systems.

That sounds awful. My little one also got very ill quite regularly, several hospital trips for supposedly viral infections that went bacterial as soon as the GP closed. Croup, RSV, tonsillitis, ear infections. It was relentless. Always getting sick from nursery. Colds turning into chest infections. Excema and then asthma. It got better, it really did. He is year 1 now and very rarely ill but from 2 to 5 the winter months we're awful. He is now a happy healthy child so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course if you feel there is something going on then keep pushing but sometimes it is just luck of the drawer.

Sorry I asked MN to remove my second post as I accidentally posted my name gah.

Thanks all - by very clean I just mean normal, certainly not overly or obsessive. We have a cleaner who comes for 2hrs a week and then I just stay on top of the kitchen and bathrooms around work, children etc. But my point is we're not living in squalor or anything that might encourage illnesses if you see what I mean x

Second baby always gets ill when a lot younger because older sibling brings home all the germs they normally would not encounter until they went to nursery themselves. So I guess that's one explanation.

Your older one though, poor thing. That's a hell of a lot of illnesses. I'd want to see the GP, i don't know where else to start, but i agree that's a lot.

Thanks all - by very clean I just mean normal, certainly not overly or obsessive.

In that case I’d say that is a lot of illnesses to have at 2 years old and obviously the baby too. It could be nothing but I would probably see the doctor again and insist they do some tests. Don’t let them fob you off.

In my experience it is the antibiotics. Once they have one treatment they got down with the very next thing going around. My dd was picking up everything going when she was seven and doctors prescribed antibiotics for absolutely everything. She was cured by Chinese herbal medicine

I'd agree with this. My paedetrician absolutely hates giving out antibiotics and says they really ruin the gut. So it could be the antibiotics they got early on (which was obviously unavoidable). Don't beat yourself up OP.

I would probably go the extra mile with their nutrition now. And maybe do look into some herbal medicine.

It does sound like an unusual amount of illness.

I don't think the number of illnesses sounds unusual but more the severity. Some of those listed are very nasty.

Is the two year old in nursery? My daughter was a COVID baby and didn't go to nursery until she was 3. She then caught everything going and was ill every 2-3 weeks. It was horrendous. She's now 5 and in Year 1 and think it is improving now x

That sounds horrendous- for all of you. You must be emotionally drained and it's doesn't seem normal to me.

Have a look into myofunctional therapy. All the colds leads to nose breathing which leads to the tubes in the nasal area not having the room to grow properly (a very simplified version). It isn’t as popular here as it is in America but my LO7 has an expander in her upper mouth to help expand things and she was a chronic mouth breather/ear infections etc

Were either of you parents ill a lot as children? I think there can be familial patterns in susceptibility to childhood illnesses. But I've never checked if that is supported by any studies.

It sounds like it’s on high side but since Covid the illness season is year round instead of just winter. My eldest is 16 back the. Once you got trough winter you would get months without any illnesses.
Now with my preschoolers I was questioning my GP if antibiotics in July for an ear infection is normal and GP was like yes it’s year round now worst in winter but no break in summer.
First winter in childcare was horrendous and steadily improving each winter but it’s tough for us to manage annual leave.

Working on the microbiome as mentioned may be helpful. Were they born by c section? Or did you have antibiotics in labour? They would both affect immune system development. You said they got infections when they were born and had antibiotics so that would have affected their microbiome instantly. Did/do you breastfeed? Not doing so can affect immune system. So what I mean is if any of these factors are true for you then I would say it’s probably within the realm of normal for their developing immune systems. But if none of those factors have happened then it may be something not quite right with their immune systems.

I would be curious if they are mouth breathers, could be an obstructed airway from adenoids/ tonsils. My second daughter had a lot of these illnesses in her first two years and I’m sure this is to blame.
Anecdotally I have heard great things about mighty kids vitamins, giving those a try to boost immunity can’t do any harm.

This is not normal at all. You will get no help from the NHS or a standard doctor. You need to go alternative IMO.

Things I would do:

• Remove all harsh cleaning products from the house. Being very clean is not a good indicator of child health. The opposite in fact. Get rid of domestos, flash, choose environmental and child friendly brands (yes expensive) or use white vinegar, for cleaning, and simple Marseille soap for the kids. Let them play in the dirt
• stop all vaccinations (once they are strengthened)
• get a very strong probiotic to help repopulate their gut
• overload them on a large range of vegetables also to nurture the biome
• strip out dairy, white bread, all and any UPFs
• Feed them a lot of fruit, some fresh squeezed orange everyday
• Potentially get them tested for deficiencies or intolerances, or find a functional doctor who will look into respiratory health
• get baby vitamins

How does “stop all vaccinations” fit into that, largely sensible list?!
Vaccinations encourage the immune system to fight infections, preparing the body to be ready when a new infection comes along.
Without vaccinations these children could be potentially a lot more ill than they already have been.

I guess we get all kind of nutters on the internet. Fortunately OP seems like a sensible adult who will continue to choose to get her children vaccinated.

Everything else on this list is pretty sensible.

Sounds like the eat infections are due to glue ear and grommets should hopefully help.

I was told by a paedetritian that unless the illnesses result in hospitalisation it’s just normal variation of illnesses. For my oldest I believe she is ill more often because her immune system is reduced due to anxiety (formal diagnosis).