A Friend Limits Her Child’s Screen Time to 15 Minutes a Day

[CareerJuggler]

A friend of mine only allows her 7-year-old 15 minutes of screen time a day. No exceptions. The child isn’t even allowed to watch a short cartoon without it being timed.
I understand wanting to set limits, but it feels quite strict. At the same time, maybe that’s the only way to stop kids from getting glued to screens.
What do you think — too much control, or smart parenting?

We do no screen time during the week.
School has them using computers and wrap around care let's watch a movie on rainy days.
We have had period of no screens at all for several weeks.

Each to their own. I count tv and iPad screen time separately in our house, but iPad time is heavily controlled. My dc wouldn’t have much more than that, and most days, none at all.

TV is less controlled but they’re not really fussed by it.

We also have no screens during the week. Minimal screen time on the weekend.

Sounds very sensible and it's more than my 7 year old has (she has nothing in the week)

Wish someone would limit this 63 year old's!

I'm so lax with screen time you guys would be horrified.I look at it as chatting on the phone with friends for hours, and watching TV for an hour or 2 after school. It is the equivalent of talking to your friends on the phone. I fail to see the difference.

Does that include TV? Or just devices? I grew up in a tv household and we do have it on every evening.

Including TV.

Well it isn't - watching television is fairly passive, it doesn't require massive mental or physical effort (assuming your kids don't want crime programmes!), whereas talking to a friend you have to engage your brain, participate, etc. Same with reading. I'm not sure how you equate them as being similar?

That sounds really healthy for your family. I’m curious though, do your kids ever kick off about it? If I tried something that strict with mine, I’m pretty sure there would be tears and a full meltdown.

I think every family just finds the level that works for them. Mine would probably act like it was the end of the world if I tried zero screens in the week, but I can see why it works for some kids.

Because presumably shes talking about playing online games with their friends where they can talk to each other through their headsets.

Mine have 30-60 min on screen per day - sometimes more on Friday - their choice could be tv, could be gaming or watching on ipad

Before asking to watch homework needs to get done and music practice else nope

15 mins sounds worse than none though - unless it’s to do something very specific. Surely they’d just get into something and having to stop would be frustrating.

@CareerJuggler its easier to set limitations at the beginning, so I imagine this has been a rule since screens were introduced into the family of your friend.
If you put this in now, there would be pushback, but you’d get through that eventually!

My motto (in my work life, working with families) was always you can make things more laxed, but it is harder (not impossible) to make things more strict!

Mine are smaller, 5&3, but we don’t have tablets at home. They do at their grandparents. But they stay there or are only brought home for long journeys.

They do watch TV. But again, timers set!

15 minutes is very strict. How do they watch anything from beginning to end, and if they don't, is the point? It must feel very pressured with the clock ticking.
Plus, I think watching TV is a very different proposition to watching on a phone or tablet. I'd allow a reasonable amount of TV at that age.

Zero screens Monday to Friday. We physically hide the remotes and the switch. They don’t have iPads. We leave colouring and books out and they love pottering downstairs before I get up!

I think that a tantalising 15mins is actually worse than my ban.

Weekends they can watch TV loads before we go off for a family day. As long as they let me sleep in! Then we do family movie night etc.

You says yours would kick off. But just do it!

I agree with @pinkcow123in that it’s easier to start strict and then relax the rules (imposing limits where there have been few/none previously is always going to be challenging). I have certainly taken that approach with my two (still little at 4 and 2) - I’ve started very strict and intend to slowly relax the rules as they age. That way I am in control and can curate screen access as I think best. I don’t think screens in themselves are ‘bad’, but I do feel there needs to be age appropriate oversight and restrictions otherwise they can cause damage. And limiting it when they’re young helps them to develop other skills - my 2 will happily play independently for long periods in the house as they’ve never been allowed to watch TV endlessly, but instead have been told to find ways to occupy themselves - like anything, it is a learnt skill and you have to give them ways to learn (learn to play, learn to cope with boredom, learn to self-occupy etc).

Currently, we don’t have tablets at all, and I limit TV to 30 minutes a day before their dinner. But I choose what they watch, as I think it’s as much about content than actual time. They have a list of ‘pre-approved’ options they can chose from (as mine are still very little, they can have either an episode of Mr Tumble, In the Night Garden, a Julia Donaldson adaptation, teletubbies, alphablocks or number blocks, or Hey Duggee - so they do have a lot of options, as between that lot there’s hundreds of episodes, but it controls the actual main content).

Some may think I need to unclench, but I believe as the parent, I need to control screens as much as I control their food, their bedtimes, their general health and wellbeing. Access to technology is part of their development, and therefore needs to be considered and managed much like all other aspects. Others can disagree, but it works for us

Mine (8&5) are allowed 30 mins in the week, longer (enough to watch a film etc) at the weekend. Just TV, they don’t have tablets or use phones. Like a PP, content is somewhat controlled (no youtube, no changing the programme every 5 mins!)

It never causes any arguments as it has always been the rule - they know that around 6pm they can watch something until dinner is ready. They get in from school and just play, draw, read, and (reluctantly) do any homework / spellings.

I grew up with no TV.

i don’t think it did me any favours.

i didn’t know any of the series other kids would talk about in the playground. I never watched any films.

my kids got screen time. It’s important.

DD probably gets less than an hour during the week and more during the weekends. She has sports or clubs 7 days a week. She also has some competitions coming up etc. She’s ahead when it comes to school so her work hasn’t suffered. She reads independently as well. She’s 6 so doesn’t have access to a tablet at all. Work must be done first before we do TV.

Tv allows her to completely switch off for a bit and given how busy she is I think thats fine. i used to be a lot stricter about it but relaxed a bit. She does often colour or do carthweels while the TV is on.

I would also echo pp point about her watching some of the same shows as her friends or knowing what charachters her friends are talking about. The K-Pop demon hunters soundtrack has been a big bonding thing for her and some of her schoolmates for example.

I don’t think a total TV ban is a bad thing tbh, I definitely think we should reduce TV sometimes myself.

I agree with this. It gives them a tantalising taste and then it is snatched away from them. It could make even the most dull thing seem quite desirable.

My elder son and his wife don’t have a screen apart from their phones/laptop in their house. They request that no screens are on when they visit. My son is a GP and has researched the impact on screen usage in children extensively and this is the conclusion he reached.
Do I think this extreme? No, I think they are not my children and it’s not my business to judge how they are parented but to be supportive of the decisions regarding their children that the parents make.
My grandchildren are very well behaved, happy and appear entirely undamaged by the absence of television in their lives.

We have limited screen time, but we're also very careful about content. We love an active screen time (like Cosmic Yoga).

My two dc were allowed to choose one programme on the tv each before bed and no screens at all other than that. They watched each others if they wanted to.