A Friend Limits Her Child’s Screen Time to 15 Minutes a Day

[CareerJuggler]

A friend of mine only allows her 7-year-old 15 minutes of screen time a day. No exceptions. The child isn’t even allowed to watch a short cartoon without it being timed.
I understand wanting to set limits, but it feels quite strict. At the same time, maybe that’s the only way to stop kids from getting glued to screens.
What do you think — too much control, or smart parenting?

15 minutes seems the worst of both worlds, not enough time to actually get into something properly but all the stress of removing the screen. I'd rather do either 30 minutes a day or none during the week and a couple of hours at the weekend.

I'm totally an outlier then. We don't really do phones or tablets (apart from me reading a lot of kindle books) but we have the telly on all the time as background noise. We treat it the same as the radio in the kitchen. I think telly access is broadly good. We also have around ten thousand books (after a massive clearout) along with hobby stuff like games, guitar, keyboard, various woodwind instruments, jigsaws, knitting and crochet, darts, art etc and go out on daft little (and big) adventures several times a week - the telly being on has never stopped us enjoying other activities. Maybe it's a class thing?

I think never being allowed to watch a film in an afternoon or evening feels quite harsh. It doesn't have to be often – but never? It would take the child a week to watch a typical kids film!

What if they are ill? Screen time limits definitely go out the window here when they are ill and just want to lie on the sofa and be passively distracted from feeling miserable.

My two year old will watch an entire Disney film if I let her 🤦🏼‍♀️

I do limit it but honestly some days I need it!

This, for our grandchild. Movie night is a weekend treat.

Not anymore. A bit in the beginning but it's normal for us now.
During the holidays they watch more but are used to it going back to not on during the term time.

I don’t really limit TV, but DS isn’t really a telly person and will only usually watch for 30 mins or so, so I’d probably limit more otherwise. Occasionally he’ll get really into a documentary series on a particular topic that interests him, and want to watch for longer, but I don’t really see the harm in that as it’s educational.

We’ve never had a tablet or games console. He plays video games with DH for a couple of hours on Saturdays. That’s it for non-TV screen time.

We sort of had a vague idea that we would put off tablets while he was little (he’s nearly 7), he’s aware that all his friends have them but has never asked. It’s not like we’re vehemently opposed to ANY activity on a tablet, but it’s just never come up and I don’t see any reason to choose to introduce one at the moment. I agree with PP that it’s much easier when you do this from the start, a lot of my friends have struggled to impose limits later on.

I do think that 15 mins is worse than none. It seems a bit mean to set a limit shorter than the average length of a TV show, you could never finish anything!

I think perhaps more a personal preference thing. My FIL has the telly on all the time as background noise, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing so but I’d find the constant noise difficult to handle after a while. Different strokes for different folks.

I think it also depends on your kids too. If we had the telly on all the time, my DS would wander off and find something to do after a short time, I don’t think it would get in the way of him doing other activities. But me as a child (LOVED telly) would have had to be surgically removed from the sofa and wouldn’t have done anything else! Even if it was adult programs that I didn’t understand, I’d watch anything over doing something else if given the choice as a small child 😆

I think 15 minutes a day is counterproductive because all she'll be able to consume in that time is short cartoons/clips/games, which is the and screen stuff.

They'd be much better off letting her have a movie on the weekend or sitting down together to watch something. It's about the quality of content and the experience more than just time.

That's probably indicative that they really need to go cold turkey, that level of reaction indicates addition. They'd get through it soon enough and find other things to do. You just have to put up with the initial upset.

For children its down to the parents and i think some of the comments on here are lovely.
I love it when i see kis clibming trees, diging holes in the gardens,drawing on pavements,making bike ramps ,building dens.
I also love the parents that tell the kids to go out side no matter the weather,or them that see their kids fall over off bikes and dont make a huge fuss ,just check brush down get back on ya feet /bike scooter whatever.

To me they are the parents that need awards they are raising resilience not tecno.

My nan told me if i have kids raise them 10/20 year back in time your raising adults not push overs.
I now understand what she means screens are not the parents or part time nannys.

I didnt have kids but i would take that advice if i did eventhough i know it would be tought.
But back back in the day parents done without any tec.

It’s fine, mine have no screens Monday to Thursdays, 20 mins on a Friday doing games/tv and only at the end of the day on Saturdays db Sundays. The research that YouTube, insta, TikTok even with controls is bad for children is compelling. WhatsApp has a 13 plus rating…remember, zuckerberg’s kids live off grid in Hawaii…

And yes, as for they’d have a meltdown if you set limits…that’s exactly why you need to set limits, so they get used to stopping. What @NuffSaidSam said.

I find some of the strict limits people are sharing here very surprising, as in real life I have never known anyone limit their kids' screen time in anything like this way.

I am assuming therefore that these are no or low-screen houses, with no TV, adults only using their phones for work, essential communication or fact finding or in an emergency situation. Otherwise, the level of hypocrisy would be extraordinary.

Given that I myself used screens like the majority of adults - I enjoy watching all kinds of things on TV (both educational, cultural and informative; I used my phone for pleasurable socialising and entertainment, etc etc) it seemed sane to give my child the opportunity to enjoy the same leisure activities (in child appropriate forms). We enjoyed some great experiences together watching films, wonderful documentaries, musicals etc on TV when she was little. There were certain apps we let her have on her iPad I can still remember now, that both seemed educational and gave her great pleasure. To me, technology can provide access to social many beautiful and moving, mind-expanding or just FUN experiences, and we can all learn so much through it.

There was no need for timers as, as is normal for parents if young kids, her dad and I provided her with a wide range of leisure options (park, boardgames, imaginative play, active play, reading, crafts, jigsaws, etc etc etc etc - all the numerous stuff people do with kids) , so there was never need to? Other activities and the needs to eat and sleep obviously provided natural limits.

Not to brag (seriously, I am just making a point) my daughter is currently a teenager and top of all Humanities subjects at least (also strong in the others) in the very selective private school she attends. She's also a lovely person with a wide social circle and a broad balance of interests.

Sadly, a lot of children denied access to TVs etc are shunned by other students - I have taught for decades in various contexts and seen this repeatedly, pretty much without exception, to the handful of students one finds who are in this situation. Understandably, they become unhappy and socially awkward.

I like to think that almost everyone acts in good faith where their children are concerned, hard as their reasoning can be to fathom sometines. There djmww assume parents who make this choice for their children have compelling reasons for the absence of screens in their homes - strong religious convictions or environmental reasons for example - which, to them at least, justify the additional hardships their children undergo.

They will kick off for a few days, then they'll start being creative. No tv on school nights makes for a streamlined evening. I'm not battling "just 10 more minutes," over stimulated kids, etc.

This! I’d never get anything done if I couldn’t put tv on for my dd! That’s not to say she just sits and watches relentlessly but it’s always on on the background for when her attention drops from whatever she is playing with

So a 7YO is never allowed to watch a movie? Or they can but only in 15 min increments so it takes them like a week to get through it? That’s really, really weird. I think restricting iPad time is pretty sensible but a weekend movie night is a nice family thing and it shouldn’t be lumped in the same category.

Agree with that @Bitzee the identified harms relate to YouTube/insta/tiktok etc, not family movie night or CBeebies although tv where one episode after another loads up.

as for hypocrisy - kids have developing brains, they need interaction. Yes, it’s no good for adult brains either.

I think no screen time would be easier then 15 minutes. Just enough to to keep them hooked, not enough to ever feel done, and gives the false impression that the screen time is precious, and scarce. Do they never go to the cinema or have a movie night?

Good on that parent. She is doing the right thing and her child’s brain development will thank her for it.

Why not allow her to learn to deal with boredom?

We are planning to tighten up in our home. We are going to do 30 mins watching a programme when come home from school or something. 1 hour on sat and on sun to play games with friends. I think it is tricky as it feels like life is so different to when I was young. I’d just go out to play all day (small town, quite rural) and come home for meals. Only time you could watch kids programmes was 4.30-6 or something. Now I wouldn’t let my DD play outside in the same way where we live (city) and kid is stuff is available to watch 24/7. I find it hard with an only child so I worry that she feel lonely. There’s a good book called The Anxiety Generation that’s worth a read. It describes how before parents were more lax on kids going out to play but now we don’t let them to protect them from danger. But at the same time they are exposed to so much content online that is potentially idangerous in so many ways eg body image bombardment yet because it’s in the home it’s not always seen as such. Dopamine hits so the brain can’t focus and is always searching for the next hit. This week I had a moment on the train when I realised every single person was looking at a screen and/or had earphones in. I include myself in this so not trying to speak down or anything. But it’s like the ability to function in the day to day without constant additional stimulation is reducing. I watch a film while trying to shop online or answer work emails. Sorry that was a bit long! But just to say that personally I really do think that I need to find a way to limit screen time both for me and for my DD ie I want to role model it. But it is not easy.

There's been so much illness all around this Christmas in our family that our usual limits went out the window- I think we were in survival mode many days!

That said on typical week days they don't get ipads except to do their school work as most is on apps now. They do get a hour of tv. Mine are obsessed by blue planet and other documentaries like Kingdom, maybe if it was YouTube instead I'd feel different. It's something we love to do together a few times a week though obviously not every day as kids have clubs/playdates/homework.

I have Roblox, it's on the 'not registered anymore' list after we realised what it was like.

Mine don’t have any on weekdays and assuming their behaviour is satisfactory and homework has been completed, they are allowed a maximum of 2 hrs over the weekend.

And I do find 15 minutes a hard time as it's half way through most episodes or volumes but I'm guessing your friend has her reasons, as we all do. It's interesting to see what everyone does, especially as all families and all the children are different. My friends oldest now grown kids are readers and gamers and always were, her youngest was never bothered gaming but likes watching series like stranger things with her parents.