Meeting strangers .....

[Mrgrim]

Hi I've never posted here before but I've got some concerns and don't know if I'm just being daft or not , ......so anyways here's my issue , found my partner/fiance/misses what ever term you like ...anyway stuff happened I did a basic Google search and found her profile on a hook up site ( illicit exploits) as soon as I told her I knew she called the police later that night and had me arrested , and now she's been randomly staying out all day and stuff she never normally does keeps her phone in her pocket ,took her spare car key off me ended the universal credit claim paused her activity on the family tracker (she the admin)(also found she's been speaking to men on telegram) ... anyways she been taking our 1 year old with her or leaving him the only place she says she's been which is her parents (dad has late stage heart failure and bad COPD) (mums crippled with arthritis and both do nothing but drink and smoke) is this considered neglect ??? ....to our baby not me

She got you arrested.... please elaborate, you seem to have glossed over that part.

Sounds like she's had enough of you and dumped you and you're looking for ways to call her a bad mum instead of stepping up to be a good dad.

Yes do tell us how you came to be arrested?

Yeah I text her telling her I found her accounts and an hour later she had me arrested for cohesive and controlling behaviour......didn't press charge , she said she panicked

She had you arrested with no evidence and then didn't press charges.

You know she doesn't decide if charges are pressed or not, especially in a case of controlling behaviour.

Tbh you do sound controlling.

Since your relationship has ended, you should come to an arrangement about shared care of your child. That needs to be your focus now.

If only it was that easy she is denying any wrong doing , making it to be my fault as I don't care about her ect , one minute she is telling me she wants to work it out then the next she's going off to random places our son , a friend (well my manager) saw her at a premier in the other day but she's denying it , I'm more worried about the safety of our son as my daughter has said she's fed him a bag of crisps then sodded off up stairs on a "quiet" phone call leaving our boy downstairs for 10-15 mins

She's the one that made us sign up to a tracker app and tracks me from my work building to the car and then rings because I was 2 minutes later than usual (chatting to mates at the cars) ...but ok. And yes I do know I was released nfa (no further action) as there was nothing in the arrest she said I don't like her having her hair and nails done .... Yer I pay for them

So what’s your end game? Do you want to co-parent and have a respectful relationship or are you more bothered by finding ways that you think she isn’t behaving as you think she should?

If you want to split and have a good relationship with your LO and a workable relationship with your Ex, i would download a Court approved app like Ourfamilywizard and ask her to do the same and then only communicate with one another through the app.

This will help you as you’ll have proof of your messages to her so she shouldn’t be able to say you’re being abusive.

If she is saying that she was in a DA relationship with you, has she got a non-molestation order in place?

Are the Police still investigating the allegations?

And have you applied for a Child Arrangements Order yet?

No you're not worried about your son.

If you were you would have called social services, or put in an application for residency to the court.

You sound more obsessed with what she's up to, she's single and can shag who she likes.

And the fact that you're bringing hair and nails, and the fact you pay for it, into it says everything.

Police don't arrest men for not liking their partner looking nice I'm afraid.

If you're going to concoct a story to make her look bad then don't start off by using every common tactic in the bitter ex handbook.

Don't approve of her babysitters.

She got you arrested for nothing.

She was 'spotted' somewhere you don't think she should be.

All you're doing is simply worrying about your child being with such a terrible mum, but you're not actually doing anything to protect him.

It's like a script at this point.

No I was released nfa meaning there's absolutely nothing in it ...they took my phone and I had to go collect it a few days later , she's got nothing in place and nothing to go off because I have literally done nothing wrong , end game .....I don't know crazy as it sounds I still love her to bits but this isn't the 1st time this exact thing has happened , and I'm just sick of playing the games , I just want to get to a place we can both be happy and obviously the most important thing is our 2 kids , I don't know all the abbreviations on here sorry

Also the relationship is still kind of on going , accept if I ask her about what she's doing then she ends it .....she ended it 3 times the other day

This relationship is no good for your child. You need to put your child first, end the relationship and go for 50/50 parenting unless you think your child isn’t safe with his Mum.

Lo is Little One and DA is Domestic Abuse.

So if you’re in a relationship with her and want it to work, why are you listening to other people telling you where they think they’ve seen her and why are you complaining about her on here instead of you know, maybe parenting your 2 DC?

Ah right ok thanks , yeah nothing in place about a da at all , I'll do 50/50 but I know she won't especially if I piss her off somehow , and that's what's I'm trying to figure out is meeting strange men neglect or is it just me being daft , I know 100% never leave a small child alone with food .... especially our son as he's fond of ramming food in his mouth he choked himself

Because why would I not listen to someone saying they saw her at a premier inn ? Especially when she says she was at her mum's , and even if she left our son there with them , they are both raging alcoholics her dad is almost end of life with heart failure and COPD and her mum can barely move with arthritis. And she is still doing these things , an to be honest she's alienated me from most people I know so also just need to talk to someone.

You couldn't be more wrong but thanks for your input , an I'm explaining what the police was asking me about these were things she had said to them , an to be honest I'm scared to call social services as she controls the money and the house . You sound like someone that's been busted cheating in all fairness

And she isn't single later in the day she always wants to "work it out" she even put the engagement ring back on the other day , then when I told her my manager saw her it came straight back off

It's time for you to be a grown up. It's up to you to make the decision, not her. I appreciate you still love her but you must surely know the relationship is over and this is a horrible situation for your children.

As I and the others have said, you need to focus on your children and sorting out the childcare for them.

Yeah I've been with her 16 years known her since we were 14 now nearly 40 .....it's a crap place to be in , the kids don't see any of this we try and keep it all to ourselves , bar our 15 year old daughter as when my partner/ex said she wanted me to leave Infront of her our daughter wants to live with me , but then we started to work things out .......then I just happened to mention about her being seen and that was it all hell again , then she also ended it because I started to look for another place ....then wanted to work it out again .....I just don't know what to do honestly I'm so torn at the moment...I want to just say fuck it and go ....but then I can't walk away from my kids , I don't know .

No I'm someone who was with a controlling prick of a man and can spot the signs a mile off.

Why are you scared to call SS if she's putting your child in danger?

Your dd is 15?

Then it's no issue that your ex left your child with her to take a 10 minute call, is it?

My daughter was also upstairs on the phone to her mates , as I said my son was left ALONE with food , don't tar all men with the same brush just because you have bad judgement, that's like me saying all women are cheating homewreckers . Think maybe your still bitter .

So how did she know he was eating crisps then?

I don't tar all men with the same brush... just the ones who deserve it.

Because I asked what our boy had for lunch and she said I just gave him some crisps as he wouldn't eat anything else .....which is strange because he eats anything in sight. And I have rang social services because I'm scared , what if she gets me arrested again an they remove our kids ??? I don't know what they will do I've never delt with them before