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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you be happy letting your 7 year old go into the swimming changing rooms by themselves

68 replies

crazedupmom · 07/06/2008 19:30

Hi
Was just wondering about this as I recently visited my local swimming pool and was told that 7 year old ds could not go into the changing rooms with me, but would have to go into the mens.
I just didn,t feel comfortable with this and my ds was funny about it as well.

There are a few cubicles at these baths in the changing rooms however alot of the people in the ladies do get changed outside the cubicles as well so I can appreciate why they wouldn,t want a 7 year old boy in there.

However it was at a fairly quiet time of day with not that many people in, and I had all of these thoughts such as what if there is some weirdo in there with my son etc.
I coudn,t wait to get changed myself and go to the mens and see if he was alright.
Do you think my thoughts are justified on this and that leisure centres should try and make changing facilities better for these reasons.

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mellyonion · 07/06/2008 19:33

my ds is 7 1/2 and i would feel exactly the same as you.

i expect my ds would be worried too tbh.....

SlightlyMadSweet · 07/06/2008 19:38

At our pool we have a mixed sex changing village, whihc is fully cubicleised. but there are family changing areas, which are just big rooms.

At our pool the family changing rooms allow both sexes under 8.

Over 8's have to change in the gender specific areas if you use the family changing areas.

I think a 7yo should be allowed to change with parents.

malovitt · 07/06/2008 19:38

We have family changing rooms at our pool for exactly this reason.

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Original poster

crazedupmom · 07/06/2008 19:39

Its not just me then.
I have been to others and they have asked me how old he is, and they have said he is okay to go in, but won,t be able to when he is 8.

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janeite · 07/06/2008 19:41

I think that is pretty bad of the pool staff tbh. At our local baths there are family changing rooms, which are just v small rooms for one family to fit in; there are probably about 3 or 4 of them so you have to wait but better than sending a 7 yr old of alone I think.

janeite · 07/06/2008 19:42

"off" not "of" - was typing too fast because I was cross on your behalf!

Is it the only pool available to you? If they're so sniffy, I'd be inclined to try another place.

jellybeans · 07/06/2008 19:43

No i wouldn't be happy and would refuse it and make them change that rule!

IlanaK · 07/06/2008 19:43

My ds1 is almost 7, but he is big so anyone looking at him woild certainly think he is at least 7. Both my boys have swimming lessons each week (on different days) so he comes into the ladies changing rooms twice a week with me. On the day he is swimming, I am quite conscious of being "modest" with him. I hold a towel in front of him. This is because there are a lot of young girls in there changing and we are getting looks etc. It has never occured to me to be worried about any women changing to be honest. I find it all a bit sad really as he has no shame overhis body and is not interested in looking at anyone elses. I walk around the house naked (not all the time - when changing, showering etc!) and he thinks nothing of it.

There is NO WAY I would let him into the mens on his own. So far, no-one has insisted but I am sure it is only a matter of time. Interestingly, most of the boys in his swimming lesson do go into the mens alone to change. They are probably a year or so older than him though.

LadyMuck · 07/06/2008 19:44

I did this recently with ds1 who is 7. He was going to a swimming club at a different school, so I wasn't expecting any adults, but he ended up getting picked on by some older boys as he was getting changed which was upsetting for him.

Personally I would stand your ground unless your leisure centre is willing to send in an adult to look after him. I would have thought that there is potential for arguing under the disability discrimination act that there should be places for your son to get undresssed with you present, but I appreciate that that is probably a hypothetical argument.

IlanaK · 07/06/2008 19:49

I have already thought through what I would do if they insisted my son went into the mens: They have benches along the poolside (divided by a low wall from the pool) for spectators. There are signs up asking you NOT to change your children there (but mums of really tinies still do it after lessons). I think I would change him there if they insisted he couldn't come into the womens changing room. They would of course object vigorously, and I would stand my ground until they provided somewhere suitable for me to get him changed.

bozza · 07/06/2008 19:56

I have sent my DS into the men's to get changed on his own from time to time. The main reason I mainly take him into the ladies is to chivvy him along - he takes forever if left to his own devices. However I may start letting him back into the men's with strict instructions to only press the shower button 3x.

This is for swimming lessons at our local village pool though. I would be less happy at somewhere bigger/more urban.

AbbeyA · 07/06/2008 20:39

We have family changing rooms so it isn't a problem. I wouldn't like it but neither would I like boys over 7 coming into a ladies changing room.

UniS · 07/06/2008 23:10

Think this through- would you let your 7 year old DD go swimming with dad and change in the mens with dad? or would you let her change alone in the womens. Women can be "weridios" as well.
hes 7. not 4. 7 year olds can get changed by them selvesself for school swimming lessons so he doesn't need his bum dried by any one else.

I agree the lure of a shower can be irresitable to 7 yr olds. Ditto toilets and climbing into lockers. Not exclusively boy behaviours tho.

Stick in his swim shorts at home under his clothes if you prefer, give him a big towel to wrap round himself after showering & a longish T-shirt to pull on 1st, then he can sort out his pants under that if likes being private and let him grow up a little.

bigTillyMint · 08/06/2008 06:47

I don't think the issue for me would be can a 7yo get changed on his own for swimming - of course they can, it's more the issue of unwanted attention. Whilst I was always happy for DD to get changed unsupervised in the ladies at that age, I wouldn't feel happy about DS getting changed in mens on his own.
Could he go in a cubicle in the ladies, so he doesn't "scare" the faint-hearted females?!

ivyJkaty44 · 08/06/2008 07:03

Yes and my 6 year old went for swimming lessons she went into the changing rooms on her own - got herself ready for the lesson and then afterwards would change into her clothes again - used the towel a little to dry herself!

I had a newborn baby and my dd wanted to be independant - so I let her.

When I was 7 I used to walk to the swimming baths on my own on a sunday morning and used the changing rooms on my own and the pool.

AbbeyA · 08/06/2008 07:38

I think that people are missing the point. The getting changed on their own is not a problem, it is the fact that you are sending them into the men's changing room on their own, you have no idea who is in there and you can't go in. It is much better when all the cubicles are together and not separated into male and female.

OrmIrian · 08/06/2008 07:43

At 7 maybe not. Our nearest pool has no changing rooms for either sex just a lot of cubicles. Much easier.

FrannyandZooey · 08/06/2008 07:45

they should be able to come into the women's changing rooms, and use a cubicle

this is bonkers
who gives a fig if there is some 8 year old who might see your bottom? I mean really
there is no way it is more appropriate for a 7 year old boy to go by himself in a room full of half naked strangers, than to come with his mum somewhere he might see the odd nipple

I am not normally convinced by 'paedos everywhere' type arguments but I have heard too many personal experiences of people getting flashed / spied on etc in swimming pool changing rooms
the pool management really need to get with this and come up with an alternative
I reckon they could be liable if a child DID go missing / get assaulted

OrmIrian · 08/06/2008 07:45

I also think it's a bit disturbing that adult women can find an 8yr old boy troublesome in their changing room. What do they think he's going to do to them ffs?

FrannyandZooey · 08/06/2008 07:47

Orm he might SEE THEIR BOTTOM
how can you not find this appalling
civilisation would collapse

AbbeyA · 08/06/2008 07:48

A friend's son was molested in a male only changing room (luckily not badly)so I would be very cautious.

OrmIrian · 08/06/2008 07:55

Of course. How could I be so foolish

heronsfly · 08/06/2008 08:01

We have communal changing booths at our pool,so not really a problem,but we have had the odd complaint about this sort of thing,Ive never had a moan from a parent about children seeing them half naked,but we have had moans about older childen seeing there PFB 2 year old dd in the nuddy.

seeker · 08/06/2008 08:06

But when they are 8 they can go swimming by themselves at our pool - what are they going to do then? Go into the women's changing room?

Honestly, there aren't paedophiles round every corner - if he wants to go then let him. If he doesn't, then find a family cubicle or let him get changed in the loo. The pool has to have a cut off age somewhere. I certainly wouldn't want to get changed in front of 10 year old boys

AbbeyA · 08/06/2008 08:11

It is the same with loos. Last time I was at a motorway service station a women came in with 2 boys who were both over 6 and I didn't feel it was appropriate.

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