Would you be happy letting your 7 year old go into the swimming changing rooms by themselves

[crazedupmom]

Hi
Was just wondering about this as I recently visited my local swimming pool and was told that 7 year old ds could not go into the changing rooms with me, but would have to go into the mens.
I just didn,t feel comfortable with this and my ds was funny about it as well.

There are a few cubicles at these baths in the changing rooms however alot of the people in the ladies do get changed outside the cubicles as well so I can appreciate why they wouldn,t want a 7 year old boy in there.

However it was at a fairly quiet time of day with not that many people in, and I had all of these thoughts such as what if there is some weirdo in there with my son etc.
I coudn,t wait to get changed myself and go to the mens and see if he was alright.
Do you think my thoughts are justified on this and that leisure centres should try and make changing facilities better for these reasons.

Sorry I should have said the ladies loo!

when I was a lifeguard it was always over 8's had to go in the relevant changing rooms. Parents would get funny but luckily one of the pools I worked at had attendants in the changing rooms at all time as they used a box and band system rather than lockers. I was told that it was a local by-law not sure how true that was though.
A lot of pools now have family changing rooms or mixed sex changing rooms which is where I would prefer to take my ds as he would be a nightmare if left alone in a changing room (more worried about him wrecking the place than anything else

Good point Abbey,we would certainly ask a parent of a child above 5 to use the mother/baby facility and not take the child into a opposite sex toilet, it would not really bother me that much but my dds would be horrified to find a boy in the girls toilets,cant imagine many boys of school age wanting to go in anyway

I've had a few tricky moments over the last week since ds broke his arm. He can't wipe his own bottom left handed (not brilliant at it right handed TBH!) and we're having to find disabled loos and they are almost always locked.

what would bother people about having a male child in a female toilet?

I don't really get this fear of children seeing parts of your body

but female loo's all have cunbicles, they really arent going to see anything.

yes i would feel strange about having a 7+ yr old boy in a communual open ladies changing room, but then i only have girls. 7year olds can get themselves changed easily cant they? dd1+2 both get themselves ready for swimming, even dd3 who is 3 can manage it.

yes I think it is the safety aspect rather than the practical one we're worried about
I wouldn't leave my ds anywhere else with a bunch of strangers for 10 mins, not sure why we are expected to in this situation?

I wouldn't have a problem with a boy coming into the ladies' loo with their mum/female relative. My nephew has autism and is 12 and when we went to a theme park with my mum and nephew, I went into a disabled toilet with DS in the pushchair, and they went into the ladies.

We are lucky in that out local pool has great family facilities, including 2 family changing rooms (rooms with a lock on the door which contain a highchair, changing table and bench). I wouldn't want to send DS into the mens for some time yet as I would worry about him.

I do remember at about 5 I was at the seaside with my family and left with DB (aged about 13) and I cut my toe. He was sensible and wouldn't let me go into the ladies' public loos on my own to wash it despite my begging. I can see why now. I know child abduction is rare but still you wouldn't want to do anything you're not comfortable about because should the worst happen you wouldn't be able to live with yourself would you?!

Our gym has a cut off at 8.

Ds had been going into the male changing room sometimes on his own for a year

A lot of people on here saying they should use the family changing or loos. We don't have either at our pool. IT is an old victorian one in central london and the loos form part of the men/ladies changing rooms. There are no family or mixed sex ones. We have been to pools which have group changing for schools and swim lessons, but this one does not.

I know there are not peodophiles lurking around every corner, but the men's changing room is unsupervised, has lots of hidden corners (have been in there when they swapped changing rooms one day due to men working in the ladies one). I do not leave my ds1 alone when fully dressed in other places, so there is no way I would leave him alone naked in a men's changing room.

I have not seen any policy on the walls about age, but I am sure there will come a point where it will be an issue.

F and Z - ds is 7 and HATES going into the ladies loo! I don't think grown ups mind, do they? but some children do

F and Z - ds is 7 and HATES going into the ladies loo! I don't think grown ups mind, do they? but some children do

I wouldnt feel comfortable letting my 7 year old in a changing room by himself, no way. If I were in tht situation i'd refuse and they'd have to call the management where i'd argue it's his right to not be looked at accidentally or purposely and what would happen if he were to get assaulted, could they guarentee that wouldn't happen? He is at an age where he wouldn't say anything if he did get assaulted whereas my other one would scream the roof down. Luckily we have family changing rooms where he gets changed with me supervising him.

We were in Debenhams the other day and couldnt find the mens loos, there were womens ones. I looked round the corner and said quickly come in here, he was desperate and he was going to be in a cubicle where he couldnt offend or be offended by anyone.

He wouldn't go, he would rather have wet hiself than to go to the ladies loos. I finally managed to track down the mens, right over the other side of the store.

"It's his right not to be looked at accidentally or purposely" What on earth does than mean?

My local pool has a mixed changing village and it is awful. Some perve peeped over my cubicle onece and took a photo of me naked

Lots of perves hang around municipal pools and beacsue of this I would NO WAY allow my 7 year to go into a male changing room alone.

There should be family changing rooms for paents with kids imo.

As I said earlier, I don't think that it is just peadophiles that are the problem. My 7yo was picked on by a group of 13yo boys. I hadn't thought of that risk, but then thinking about it I rarely if ever leave my 7yo in a situation where there are no responsible adults around. The problem with sending ds into the men's changing room is that I am sending him into an environment where I cannot follow, and I cannot really enter. In this situation the best I could do was to stand at the door and call for him to come out.

I bring ds2(7) in with me to change at the gym even though the rule is 7. He's too young to go in the mens by himself, he's still in the infants! I only go at quiet times though and walk in ahead of him so that I could divert him if there was anyone changing, so far it hasn't happened.
Ds1 started going into the mens when he was 8 and was fine. My main concern is that if they're too young they aren't able to organise themselves properly. Also changing rooms can be wet and slippery.Ds2 is still at the stage of wanting to be able to get to an adult immediately for comfort if he hurts himself.

seeker it means he is very self concious of his body and he would feel completley uncomfortable with me not being there to 'manage' the situation. In the mixed changing rooms at least I can cover him with a towel when he gets dressed (which he prefers to do) take that out of my hands (him getting changed by himself)would add to more anxiety as he would be aware people were 'looking' at him , some obviously would not be purposley looking, like when you walk down the street, you don't purposely look at people when you are walking , you just look. This would just add to his insecurities. He wouldnt just be able to get changed, he would be looking to see who was looking at him.

Then there are the ones that purposely look. I'm sure I don't have to spell that one out.I'm not niave and think there won't be paedos in the changing room. Of course there ight be. I am not putting hi in that situation, at least with me there I know if someone is looking at him in an appropriate way.

He has also been circumsied and whether other boys, his age or older, some do look annd point and stare. The circumsied one asked why his looked different to his brother, and the elder one pointed and said ewwww, will it grow back, like it or not accidentally or not, young boys, teenagers will glance.

Hope that clears up what I meant

My DS is 6 and I haven't given it much thought. The swimming pool we use have mixed changing rooms, all cubicles so no-one sees anyone getting changed. I would let DS go into his own changing cubicle but not a room where I could not be.

Same goes for when he uses the toilet, he comes with me into the ladies, or he can use the mens when with his dad.

I overheard a lady yesterday telling her son what he should do when he uses the toilet. She told him 'Do not look at anyone and do not smile at anyone!' The boy was about 12 I think.

As someone who has a [very small voice] in these sort of decisions at the sports center/pool that I work for, I would like to ask the mumsnet jury what age limit they would find acceptable in these situations,sadly,in this day and age lines do have to be drawn especially during family sessions and toilet situations.

Most swimming pools should now have a family changing area. People in decision making capacities are entitled to draw an age limit, but if they do so, they should also provide family changing areas. Maybe a 7 year old should be able to get themselves changed for swimming (mine can't) but a child with special needs may well find this impossible. (my dd does not have sn, but she is very immature).

I agree, We do have family changing rooms,with locks,but these tend to fill up very quickly,we try to keep these free for people with more than one child as one adult and one child can fit into the smaller changing rooms,but the staff often get verbally abused if they try to suggest that someone makes way for a family of 2/3 children plus a baby,I dont blame them for turning a blind eye.
The age line decisions have only come into place because of public demand and awareness.
We do have a special area for sn children,and would gladly close of a changing room for anyone with difficulties.
Many times we have been asked by dads with small daughters about toilets,if the parent child loos are in use,they can use the staff toilets.

My ds both started going into the male changing room on their own when they were 6 or 7. They go with school at that age anyway, so are used to the set-up.

We do have a family changing section, but it tends to be very busy, so it seems fairer to leave that for people with tiny children.

At our local leisure centre it's very well staffed, there are always staff walking through the changing rooms, and they're very friendly and helpful. So I've no concerns about it at all myself.

This is unaaceptable and ridiculous, what is their child protection policy? 7 is far too young to be alone getting changed. Our swimming pool has communal changing which seems to work well.

I remember when I was eight being pinned to a wall and threatened at knife point in a changing room. It wasnt in a swimming pool ( gymnastics changing room) my mother was upstairs oblivious to what was happening.The girl who threatened me was only 2-3years older.

So anything can happen to a young child when they are on their own in a public setting. 7 is too young.....