Daughter says she got smacked

[Namechangedanxiousdaisy]

I'm a bit shaken so please be kind

My 4 year old, at bedtime ( when she usually chats) said my husband smacked her in the bum yesterday evening. She said he did it in the living room when the door was closed so I couldn't see it. I feel asleep afterwards as it was late and the room was dark.

They were indeed both in the living room yesterday, reading books together. I saw them doing that, I didn't hear any upset or crying. She did at one point came into the kitchen asking me to tell him off but that was because I think my husband was winning at a game and she said he snatched the remote of a toy off her.

I'm not sure what to think or what to say. I haven't spoken to my DH - he has always been an involved dad, woke up this morning to him already cooked today's dinner and prepped snacks for school. Always doing bedtime, playing with her etc.

What should I do?

I can sort of understand where people are coming from - lots of parents fall asleep when putting their reluctant child to bed, but then wake up and either go back downstairs or get into their own bed. It sounds like you just stayed in your DDs bed all night.

Your child reported being hit and this didn’t cause you to panic. Even if your husband is a pacifist and has never shown any signs of violence, I do find that very odd.

Once i fall asleep i cant wake up. And yes I didn't wake up. After being in the dark for more than one hour, I fell asleep. I didn't want to, but it had gone beyond 9.15 and I was in the dark for more than an hour ready. Yes I stayed in DD's bed all night. We are still at that stage where that happens quite often - that is a completely different topic. The thread is being derailed as to why I didn't wake up now and i will now stop explaining myself over something that can't even be changed.that is not the point here and if you saw my update when I asked my daughter again, she said it never happened.

@Ponderingwindow I was shocked and taken aback. I had every intention of speaking to my husband but I fell asleep. If you read some of the other responses, other posters won't be panicked either because they would think it's just a 4 year old chatter. And indeed after talking to my daughter today, it seems that is the case. I will still speak to my husband when he gets home tonight.

I wouldn't panic if my 4 year old said her dad hit her🤔Panicking really isn't a normal reaction!

God this bloody site

Cant believe some of these replies. On the one hand OP raises concerns by thinking to herself the smack might be 'something' because other posters would just immediately think it was a playful tap and if OP didnt immediately think that then theres something wrong and she therefore cant trust her husband

On the other hand her mind should have been racing with concern, so much so she certainly wouldnt have been able to sleep and should have been googling how to get out the country and win a child custody hearing.

She also is required to go into great detail about how she falls asleep, why she fell asleep, why her daughter does or doesnt or did or didnt fall asleep.

Over Reaction much!

Op has already said if she'd got up at that point her DD would have been unsettled and took another hour to settle. Given there was no immediate harm, settling her daughter was the priority. Obviously falling asleep was unplanned else she'd have spoken to DH last night but falling asleep lying down in a bed with a cuddly 4 to in the dark is lethal for a nap!

And I'd assume you're projecting childhood trauma and / or really don't trust your husband. In ops situation, I'd have been prioritising getting DD to bed, not ripping her from everyone we know to flee the country. Op had heard no upset, the girl was matter of face. There was no reason to panic

Please don’t accidentally fall asleep in a dark, warm room snuggling your beloved child this evening, whatever you do! 🙏

your child reported being hit. Where did he reportedly hit her? Was it across the face? Why did she call it a smack? Was that your word or hers?

Did you even read the OP?? Then subsequent posts? These answer your questions.

Read the thread