Graduate son down about job search

[anotherglass]

Hello, my son graduated five months ago and after a couple of months travelling has commenced the job search. While he was enthusiastic at first, he has recently become quite demotivated and down. The process is quite brutal in sending off application after application but not hearing back or going through quite soulless online assessments, designed to weed out neurodivergent candidates. He has hobbies but is starting to become withdrawn and flat. I am worried about him. How can I best support him without being overbearing?

my DS was in a similar position, he applied for around 200 jobs and didn’t even get an acknowledgment from most. It is soul destroying for them. My DS finally got a job, and it’s a really good one but there were times he felt nothing would come of his applications. All you can do is show solidarity and reassure him there is a job out there for him, it’s just a matter of time.

Is he working at all?

If not, he needs to get a job. Any job will do like part time in a pub with flexibility so he can apply for jobs and go for interviews. There are lots of temp jobs in the run up to Christmas.

Does he have any job now? If not he needs to get a job, any job, bar work, shop work etc to get a routine and start earning. He can still apply for grad jobs. That way he’ll have some money coming in, get in routine, meet new people.

It’s not just graduates. The job market is like this for everyone right now. I’m self employed but considering going full time again, have over a decade’s senior experience in my field and my experience with job applications is largely the same as your son. Several friends are finding similar. What I will say, though, is that when the application is a CV and cover letter emailed to an actual person, I get an interview 9 times out of 10, so maybe he could look for smaller companies recruiting this way?

He needs to start volunteering ASAP, which will give him something to do, as well as boosting his CV.
He also needs a part-time job doing absolutely anything - pub, coffee shop, supermarket etc.
It's not enough to just assume that a degree is sufficient to walk into a graduate job - he needs to tackle it from multiple angles.

That’s the very best advice. It’s not going to guarantee him a full time job but it will get him in the race for one.

He's applying for part-time/casual roles but no luck so far.

He needs to find something voluntary. Any experience is good. And set some realistic expectations, job hunting at the moment is really tough. It doesn't mean he's doing anything wrong, it's just a numbers game. it's normal to not hear back unless you have an interview.

Tell him welcome to the real world. He just needs to adjust his mindset and realise it can take many months and many hundreds of job applications before he even gets a response let alone an interview and it also depends on the types of jobs they apply for, are they just applying for ones that have high salaries? Or ones that are only suit his interests? If so and he gets no hits then they need to broaden their job search and apply to everything and anything just to get that job, the old adage that its easier to get a job when you are already in a job is true.

My ds 22 also graduated in July with a MEng. He'd been late applying for a job as he was planning on doing a PhD (fully funded with stipend) but he saw a job which he thought was perfect for him so applied for it. Apparently he can still choose to do the PhD. He applied for the job at the end of May, had an interview and told he'd been successful at the end of August. Since then they've been doing security checks on him and now they're doing a dbs. Still no start date!
In the meantime he's been doing an internship which finishes at the end of the month and is also doing warehouse work at the weekend. It's tough out there!

Same situation with two sons at home.
they have applied for everything & haven’t even been able to get a seasonal job & are both quite low.
they did supposedly, all the right things, got exams at school & now degrees but can’t find work.
i feel for these young people.

My boys the same boat, applied to all the supermarkets for seasonal jobs - no replies - I don’t know what to say to them.

Yes to voluntary work. It's key, both for experience and also self-esteem and a reason to get out of bed. I can't recommend it strongly enough both as someone who did it after a period of ill health and as a former job coach. Also, ensure he is in contact with the careers team from uni. Most provide support for a couple of years after study and should be able to help with CVs, forms and interview practice

I been through this with both sons. Sorry but going off travelling and then a couple of months of applications does not have ne getting the violin out. Unfortunately they often think they know everything. He needs to get in touch with recruitment agencies for his field. Yes it's dull, yes there's a lot of form filling but perseverance wins the day. Definitely needs a routine and exercise. Do applications and job hunting for a certain part of the day. Tell everyone you meet you are looking for work. Go in person to local cafes, pubs, restaurants and drop off CV and yes it does work, son got 2 jobs in1 day 2 weeks ago.
He needs to keep going and widen field. It's likely to be 100's of applications depending on the field.

@anotherglass What did he graduate in?

Engineering. He is a volunteer with the District "Fixers" community, which repair household goods for free. This is once a month. He is also a volunteer at the local aircraft museum. He is applying for seasonal jobs but no bites so far. I am encouraging him to get out to the stores in person next week.

@anotherglass As an ex employment advisor, it’s good that DS has hobbies and is going after causal work also but in this particular work market he needs to be more productive with his free time which means he should be sourcing voluntary work also.

As a graduate myself, even in the late 90s employers were asking exactly what you’ve been doing with yourself if you’re not already in a job. Luckily for me, I had quite a responsible role at Oxfam doing many different roles of responsibility since I’d left uni and I’m pretty certain that was a key decider in me being successful as I remember at the time being a bit miffed they didn’t want to know more about my hard earned degree but seemed fascinated about my life with Oxfam lol.

Did he do any work whilst travelling? Has he looked into a whether there are better job opportunities in countries that offer working holiday visas?

I think the majority of our kids are in the same boat. Just reassure them they are trying their best.

My DC is the same. It’s very demoralising for them. Decent grades at school, top 10/15 uni with a 2.1. Worked part time in 6th form and throughout uni.

He has been job hunting since he got home, both local stuff and grad schemes.

He does finally have an interview next week… but I think it’s just two days in a supermarket. So obviously I’ve said to him something is better than nothing, I can see it’s very disheartening.

Poor lad, there's a grad unemployment crisis and the govt are doing nothing about it. fortune.com/2025/10/28/gen-z-job-crisis-real-1-2-million-graduates-17000-jobs-uk-ai-labor-market-colleges/

He needs to game the system, because things are so bad that it's really, really hard to win on merit. Recruiters are absolutely inundated with work at the moment, so track down some jobs that recruiters are holding the keys to, ring them up and confidently assert that you were told to call them up and arrange an interview. You'd be surprised at how many of them will just arrange you an interview!

It's also worth ticking the "yes I consider myself disabled" or "yes I consider myself trans" box on applications, as this often guarantees an interview, and both things are completely unfalsifiable and employers can't actually legally ask for hard details anyway. Just do it to get in front of someone and have a chance at interview!

Thank you. He has a disability (ADHD) but he was in two minds on whether to disclose, given hidden prejudices.

It's nothing new.
Eldest graduated in 2017 and his peers were all the same, vast numbers of applications, very few responses and often a year before getting a job. These were kids with RG firsts.

My youngest graduated in 2019 and it was a year before he got a job. Literally hundreds of applications . He did manage to get a part time job in Tesco who are actively recruiting now. Eventually, after much misery and disillusionment he was offered three grad schemes at once.

How are is friends doing? I bet they're all in a similar position.

He absolutely should tick the box!! A family member has very mild physical disability that they don't even really consider a disability or limiting. They started to declare it as it often gets you a guaranteed interview if you meet the other job criteria. This is how they started to get interviews. If it gets you in front of an interviewer, definitely do it

Does he have any work experience? If he doesn't, that is probably hindering him. Having a part time job during college/uni is important for more than just spends.