Graduate son down about job search

[anotherglass]

Hello, my son graduated five months ago and after a couple of months travelling has commenced the job search. While he was enthusiastic at first, he has recently become quite demotivated and down. The process is quite brutal in sending off application after application but not hearing back or going through quite soulless online assessments, designed to weed out neurodivergent candidates. He has hobbies but is starting to become withdrawn and flat. I am worried about him. How can I best support him without being overbearing?

Is he getting interviews? Is he definitely addressing all the essential and desirable criteria in the job applications?

It sounds like he’s trying hard though. It is a pretty rubbish job market at the moment.

OP said he was neurodivergent in her very first post tbf.

Agree with others
Bar work Christmas temps in supermarkets pads out the CV and gives contacts for references etc . Volunteering if possible is also helpful .
Been through this with both my kids I even used to pay them to do stuff for me eg tidying loft garage etc .
Daughter ended up going back to uni to do masters and son took a punt on a low paid job which led to much bigger things and a profession he hadn’t even considered .
Its early days - keep him busy - he’ll be missing uni life too .Its a real period of change for them .

It’s tough out there atm. Def tick the disability box. It helped eldest DC get a retail job as they were struggling.
They graduated in June and is working in retail although their degree was never going to lead to immediate job opportunities.
Other DC graduates next summer - RG uni, STEM degree and is looking at some quite competitive roles. He’s worked since he was 17 at school and in summer holidays. I hope that helps. He just hadn’t got time to volunteer now as he’s so busy w uni work.

My DS is in the same situation. He graduated earlier this year and has been applying for jobs with no success ever since. Fortunately he’s managed to increase his hours at the part time job he was doing whilst at uni but it means he’s doing a 40 minute drive each way four days a week to get there. Not so bad if you’re working normal hours but he starts work at 4.30am so the sooner he gets something else the better.

The graduate job market is so crap. You wonder why they bother especially with the massive debt. None of my 3 DDs are in jobs directly related to their degrees now. ⁹

There was an interview with the guy who started Reed Employment last weekend, he says he's never known the jobs market to be this bad.

Not much consolation but it's really tough for everyone out there and Labour are making it worse!

Is he professionally qualified now?

If not, why wasn't he working since he left home?

Are things that different now? I went to uni and that was that, I was on my own and had to work to pay my rent and stuff, and all the parties! I changed jobs when I graduated but I already had 6 years' work experience under my belt by then.

He may need to relocated for his profession? Not many employers want someone over 18 who's never worked a day in their life.

Is he professionally qualified now?

If not, why wasn't he working since he left home?

Are things that different now? I went to uni and that was that, I was on my own and had to work to pay my rent and stuff, and all the parties! I changed jobs when I graduated but I already had 6 years' work experience under my belt by then.

He may need to relocated for his profession? Not many employers want someone over 18 who's never worked a day in their life.

I mean, have you read any of her posts? At all? Or have you just blundered on here talking bollocks?

I had it hard so everyone else should. MN bingo.

Actually if you read the thread you'd know that he had several jobs at uni , currently volunteers and is applying locally for jobs as well as for grad jobs. Nowhere has OP said he wouldn't relocate.

Well why did he leave his last job then?

Where did I say I had it hard? This has made things easier for me in terms of getting work. I've not been out of a job since 1996.

Just also to add and I know he’s an adult but I always think it’s important to guide them:
: go thru his CV and double check he’s adapting it for different jobs/it doesn’t have errors/it looks current etc (ie not too many pages etc)
: is he selling himself on his CV?
: if he is applying for grad jobs is there a step where he seems to get rejected eg where maybe there is a piece of written work to do? If so then he may need coaching on this
: are there any online courses he could do to improve skills or even just for interest to keep busy. Also a good talking point in interviews
: brainstorm and list local venues who might need someone for a one off event

My eldest is in the same situation. No luck with graduate or local jobs. We've sorted a volunteering role now. It's just really crap. When I was a graduate I probably applied for less than 10 jobs to get one.

Also, ticking the disabled box doesn't help when they then have to do online personality tests that actively discriminate against ND people. One recent one was recognising emotions from facial expressions which is not easy for a face blind AuDHD person! Even aside from the fact that in real life there are always other cues to work with. Lots of job descriptions also could be easily reworded as "don't be autistic"

Genuinely disabled people have enough barriers to employment without people faking disability to get ahead. I'm actually disgusted, albeit sadly not surprised, that people think that's OK.

Presumably it was at uni? Not much good if eg you were at uni in Leeds and you live in Exeter!

This is not AIBU so please only post constructive, useful advice.

And it was a lot easier to get a job in 1996 - I know because that's when I started my first "proper" job out of university.

I think sometimes they do need a kick up the bottom to start volunteering and extending their job search to things they don't really want to do. But it doesn't sound like the OP's son needs that.

Great advice here!

When you go to uni that's where you live.

I know things are different now with job hunting but I still regularly apply for jobs and get interviews.

He should try the NHS or civil service, or a graduate scheme.

Mycharityjob is also good.

I do feel your pain. Mine is now 24. He has a degree and a master's. He cannot get a 'proper' job. Since graduating , he has worked in three school roles and now in Dunelm. None of this 'CV boosting' is helping (and nor is the Master's).

He has probably applied for 150 jobs. One issue is he has no real job he wants to do. He has had about 4 interviews.

AI is doing a lot of sifting , so where a human might give him a chance, the robot rejects him.

He often fails the 'sift tests' and is just getting so very bored. He is now on sertraline, bless him. Living at home with mum and dad and working minimum wage.

I don't know what to say or do really. He applies for jobs outside of the area. he didn't get shortlisted for a Trailfinders job because he hasn't been on a trip to Australis,Asia, or South America - which seemed somewhat discriminatory...

It's a jungle out there, OP!

Oh, and by the way, he has tried 'shortage' jobs - social work, probation : been rejected.

Has he considered trying to work in transport? I know he has an engineering degree but something here might be suitable.

TfL apprenticeships

Or just the normal TfL grad scheme looked v good when my relative applied.

If your son fancies social work, one option would be to work for a local authority (in anything, even temp work) then look out for a ‘case worker’ job, as once you have worked in a role like that for a while you can potentially apply for a social work apprenticeship. Volunteering will help, eg as a family support worker or at a youth charity.

He can't get volunteering work as he has a paid job he can't give up, frustratingly. There also aren't a huge amount with our authority.

He's really in the doldrums now so wouldn't be much of an asset.

Thanks for the tip, though.

DS1 was lucky to get a grad job last year. There were apparently 1200 applicants and they took on two.
DS2 is currently looking for a year in industry placement. He has just had an interview, 750 applicants, 25 interviewed and 6 taken on.
Soul destroying.

What type of engineering? I am a civil engineer and we are crying out for civil engineers. We run graduate programmes however and we often have those filled for the next year before students have graduated. September to November is a bit of a strange time to hire a grad engineer. We will start taking people on again at the earliest May time. Will interview people before that though.

Taylor the covering letter to the company/ exact field you will be working in. We see so many generic and non relevant letters. Yes it might take more time, but makes the difference in a sea of good CVs