Am I being dramatic

[smallgingerbread]

My partners brothers got a new girlfriend, we have never met her we don’t know what she’s like although I’ve heard things and I’m already on the side of not wanting to meet her, I have a child who’s 5, she’s a very energetic full on little girl but she is lovely but she’s very playful and grabby and doesn’t understand personal space, am I being dramatic if I don’t want my daughter meeting this new girlfriend until I’ve met her?

What do you think might happen?

Yeah, you're being mad.

Unless the 'things you've heard' are that she's a convicted serial killer or something in which case I would avoid meeting her too.

Ahm, no, you don't need to vet your daughters uncles new girlfriend before your daughter meets her, she's not exactly going to be a hugely influential figure in her life in the short term is she? Whenever you meet your you meet her, if your daughter is there the first time you meet, what harm can that do?

She does drugs lol, I’ve never introduced my daughter to someone at the same time as me meeting them my daughter is speech delayed n stuff so I’ve just always been careful

Also let me rephrase, daughter from a previous relationship

Its your partners brothers girlfriend, not your childs dad girlfriend. Your being ridiculousz

Okay lol

I doubt she'll be snorting keys off your daughter's thumb, I think you'll be fine

What drugs does she do? Smokes a bit of week occasionally, takes Mandy on a night out? Crack cocaine?

Why didn't you put that vital information in your OP?

Coke lol, n tbh I’m just concerned about the fact she carries it on her n stuff

Wanted to see if I was going to be branded a nobhead for being protective of my child around people I don’t know before I sprinkled in that

What an extraordinary way to live!

Did you have to go to every toddler class/swimming lesson on your own first so you could meet everyone before she did? Have you met every staff member at school? What if they have a supply teacher in? Do you keep her at home until you've vetted the teacher?

It's a grand effort, but really completely unnecessary and probably not sustainable in the long term.

Does your partner’s brother use drugs too?

She was born in 2020 I’m glad I didn’t have to leave the house tbh

as far as I’m aware no

Ahh ok. I think you've maybe just got into an overprotective habit that's hard to break now, but realistically you just can't meet every single adult before she does. It's not practical.

You're right to be wary and of course don't leave her alone with them, but meeting them alongside you she will be completely safe (because you will keep her safe).

You're being ott. People who do coke are irresponsible with their health and heart, but she's hardly going to be a danger to your child. If she is on drugs when you get there she'll probably just talk your ear off, and you can always choose to leave. I have a few friends who do coke occasionally despite me not even drinking alcohol. They're all great fun around my child (and of course sober the vast majority of the time and always when I see them!). She's hardly going to have it lying around.

Well what's the circumstances? Like BIL is offering to take your child out for the day with the gf or you're all going to grannies for lunch and so you'll be supervising her closely?

Probably a surprise tbh, they’ve also only been together for 3 days but he’s moved quite fast considering he only started seeing her 2 weeks ago so I don’t doubt it’ll be long before I’m sat in a living room with this girl lol

Tbh I would be vetting them, If they were taking my child somewhere. Oh and you can pretty much expect your partners bro to be dabbling in drugs if his girlfriend is.
If they were just coming over to visit, you can always have eyes on your daughter/son. Then not needed!

The vague initial post, and drip feed of rather dramatic info highly implies you aren't serious.

i am serious lol but okay thanks for your opinion anyway

I mean I hope he has more sense than that but idk who knows, he’s started being secretive with us so idk, I just want my child to be safe if she’s going to be spending time around them

If he has started to be secretive then that is a problem, especially if he starts to change in mood, that is usually the tell tale.
When it comes to my son, personally I don't care what people say about me, I go with my gut feeling, if I don't feel right about it, then nothing is happening lol
Good luck with your choice.