Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Threw out DD’s bag - now she wants it

34 replies

apples75 · 30/10/2025 04:18

I was having a huge declutter recently as we’re drowning in stuff, and threw out a backpack of DD’s. It was given to us secondhand by a friend but was stained and a bit dirty inside and just not in great condition. She has several other bags that are much nicer.

However, yesterday she was asking where this particular bag was and I didn’t know what to say. I managed to distract her thankfully and have ordered a cheap but different bag online as a replacement. But if she brings it up again, how do I handle this? Do I tell the truth that Mummy threw it away without asking her? I feel so guilty now. She’s five.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
BlackCatGoesHome · 30/10/2025 05:35

Just tell her it was broken and had to go in the bin.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 30/10/2025 05:44

She’s 5 …. Tell her the truth …. Darling it was broken and yucky so mummy had to throw it out… better she learns this now than when she’s 15!

MummyNeedsCoffee1 · 30/10/2025 05:49

At 5 it’s ok to make these decisions for her…sometimes things are old, broken and dirty and they have to go. Just explain this to her, keep it short, and give her another bag.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Families General parenting
Baconking · 30/10/2025 05:53

If you're drowning in stuff, don't buy another bag to replace it! You already said she has other bags

Everything0Everywhere · 30/10/2025 05:53

I would claim ignorance. Say that you haven't seen it for a while but you will keep an eye out for it.

SleafordSods · 30/10/2025 05:59

Personally I wouldn’t have bought a replacement. She has other bags and she’s 5, she will get over wanting one bag that’s no longer there.

I would have explained that the bag was broken and couldn’t be fixed avd it had to go but she could choose one of the other bags she has because she’s lucky enough to own more than one.

Orangesandlemons82 · 30/10/2025 06:07

Everything0Everywhere · 30/10/2025 05:53

I would claim ignorance. Say that you haven't seen it for a while but you will keep an eye out for it.

This is what I do. They forget about it after a while. If I didn't declutter sometimes and not replace we would be snowed under.

Luxio · 30/10/2025 06:11

Why do you feel guilty for throwing away a stained not in great condition bag? Tell her the truth and return the bag you've ordered, if you're drowning in stuff and she already has several bags it's not necessary to buy another. Additionally buying more stuff to appease guilt is not a road you want to go down.

Ellie1015 · 30/10/2025 06:14

She will probably forget if not explain you had to clear some space and chose that bag as it was the oldest. Def do not buy a new one.

Tiebiter · 30/10/2025 06:26

She's 5? Then just say you don't know where it is and change the subject. I wouldn't have ordered a new bag.

Tiebiter · 30/10/2025 06:27

We have a lot of toys that are "probably in the attic, I'll take a look next time I'm up there"

These toys were taken to the charity and are long gone freeing up lovely lovely space!

KimTheresPeopleThatAreDying · 30/10/2025 06:34

Why on earth did you immediately replace it if you’re drowning in clutter?

onetrickrockingpony · 30/10/2025 06:37

My husband accidentally smashed a porcelain money box my daughter lovingly painted (just a birthday craft project). Every
time she brings it up I say “it must be around somewhere”, make a half hearted attempt at looking with her, and then get her distracted by something else.

why did you buy a new one ?

Linenpickle · 30/10/2025 06:39

She’s five…. If you can’t handle this, god help you when she’s a teen.

Stravaig · 30/10/2025 06:44

You're the parent, you inform her of the decision you made and why. If you're tiptoeing around a 5 year old ... who already has multiple bags 🤯

LittleBearPad · 30/10/2025 06:46

Sge doesn’t need a new bag. Just say it was broken.

WatchingTheDetective · 30/10/2025 06:47

This is why you are drowning in clutter! Why didn't you just say you didn't know and maybe you could both look for it one day?

holachicatita · 30/10/2025 07:15

I can't believe you've started a thread about such a non issue. Tell her you threw it away and she has plenty of other bags. The end.

SleafordSods · 30/10/2025 07:19

Is it too late to cancel the order?

Ohthatsabitshit · 30/10/2025 07:19

Just tell her you threw it away???

wellingtonsandwaffles · 30/10/2025 07:25

You either say you don’t know you haven’t seen it in ages or you say you had to throw it away as it was too old and broken and wouldn’t have been safe to use. Kids get over it very quickly

beAsensible1 · 30/10/2025 07:28

First cancel the order of the new bag. It’s not needed.

tell her the truth, that it was dirty and broken don’t had to go. You said she has loads why buy another.

IamIfeel · 30/10/2025 07:32

SleafordSods · 30/10/2025 05:59

Personally I wouldn’t have bought a replacement. She has other bags and she’s 5, she will get over wanting one bag that’s no longer there.

I would have explained that the bag was broken and couldn’t be fixed avd it had to go but she could choose one of the other bags she has because she’s lucky enough to own more than one.

Yeah, I agree with this. Cancel that order. No wonder you’re drowning in stuff

ButtonMushrooms · 30/10/2025 07:33

Agree with everyone else. Don't feel guilty and don't get a new bag! Just say it was broken. She'll forget about it in no time.

Original poster
apples75 · 30/10/2025 08:06

I feel guilty because I’ve chucked out something she likes! She has two other bags so you’re right, she doesn’t need a third. I will return the one I’ve ordered or save it for her birthday.

OP posts: