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Original poster

Threw out DD’s bag - now she wants it

34 replies

apples75 · 30/10/2025 04:18

I was having a huge declutter recently as we’re drowning in stuff, and threw out a backpack of DD’s. It was given to us secondhand by a friend but was stained and a bit dirty inside and just not in great condition. She has several other bags that are much nicer.

However, yesterday she was asking where this particular bag was and I didn’t know what to say. I managed to distract her thankfully and have ordered a cheap but different bag online as a replacement. But if she brings it up again, how do I handle this? Do I tell the truth that Mummy threw it away without asking her? I feel so guilty now. She’s five.

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PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 30/10/2025 08:11

Would you let her go to school with a shirt with holes everywhere and dirt that won’t come off? No you won’t and would explain why…. So think why you feel differently when it’s a bag

idri · 30/10/2025 08:12

I do this all the time. I just pretend I can’t find it, but perhaps others idea of saying it was broken and dirty etc would be better!

SleafordSods · 30/10/2025 08:13

apples75 · 30/10/2025 08:06

I feel guilty because I’ve chucked out something she likes! She has two other bags so you’re right, she doesn’t need a third. I will return the one I’ve ordered or save it for her birthday.

Just return it @apples75. She had other bags and by her birthday she will have long forgotten the broken and dirty bag.

She doesn’t need more bags Smile

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Tickingcrocodile · 30/10/2025 08:18

Let her see the process of decluttering next time. As someone who lives with a hoarder, I think it's important to normalise the idea of "having a sort out" early in life and getting them involved.

Isobel201 · 30/10/2025 08:43

I thought when I started reading the post, this would be a 15 year old, but she's only 5! she'll forget about it in a month or so.

Tiebiter · 30/10/2025 11:51

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 30/10/2025 08:11

Would you let her go to school with a shirt with holes everywhere and dirt that won’t come off? No you won’t and would explain why…. So think why you feel differently when it’s a bag

I sent my DC in like that today. But I feel worse consigning a polo shirt to the landfill when it will likely be covered in paint by home time anyway.

ButtonMushrooms · 31/10/2025 07:41

Don't save it for her birthday! She'll probably have forgotten about it by then and would prefer a toy.

SleafordSods · 31/10/2025 09:11

Tickingcrocodile · 30/10/2025 08:18

Let her see the process of decluttering next time. As someone who lives with a hoarder, I think it's important to normalise the idea of "having a sort out" early in life and getting them involved.

I think it’s really important to do this as well. Show them that sone things can be mended, some things donated and some things do need to be thrown away at the end of their usefulness.

I’ve offered to help teenage DC2 to go through their wardrobe this afternoon and do just that Smile

ladygindiva · 31/10/2025 10:43

Everything0Everywhere · 30/10/2025 05:53

I would claim ignorance. Say that you haven't seen it for a while but you will keep an eye out for it.

I do this ... This particular scenario arises regularly in our house as I can't bear clutter and I just feign ignorance until they forget about it . I'm a coward 🤣

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