Rude staff at restaurant

[ProudAuntieof3]

Did we over-react? I was at a restaurant in London Bridge (F&G) with my 3 nieces and nephews. Everything was great, the little one (2 years old), between courses, got up and wanted to see what was going on at the bar, which was right next to our table. There were empty stools and she started climbing them, without disturbing anyone. She happened to touch one of the plates that was laid out for future patrons. At that point, a staff member became irate, telling us to sit down and that now she'd have to change the plate because the baby had touched it. I was very shocked. All three children had behaved impeccably and were very polite. The baby wasn't running amok and was not disturbing anyone. We paid for what we ate and left. Am I being unreasonable?

YABU

the child was not properly supervised, you’d have been the first person to moan I’m sure if she’d been injured

A child of a similar age (perhaps nearer three) was "behaving impeccably" at work in the summer. Mother, Grandmother and Aunt were more interested in talking to each other than watching her. Now she wasnt running around and tripping people over but she was getting in the way of service as she explored. Then she got sent flying because she stood outside the kitchen, my colleague couldnt see her and came out with two plates of hot food. The bang was quite impressive.

Mum said that we should look where we are going, when I pointed out that there was signage on the door to be aware that it is a swing door and that it isnt our job to keep her kid safe, its hers, she told the child off for not being sat down! By that point mother had been asked twice to keep her sitting down.

Could have been much worse if the hot plates of food had landed on her.

In short, YABVU.

You are being totally unreasonable and really overreacted. If you take your children to a restaurant they should not be wandering around , climbing on stools, or touching plates. A two year old should not be leaving the table on their own between courses.

I went out for a meal with a friend last night and it was completely ruined by the brats on the next table who were wandering round the restaurant, touching the things on empty tables that had been set for the next customers, shrieking and getting in the way of the waiting staff while their parents looked on and didn’t tell them off once. Like you, the parents were outraged when one of the staff told them off. The children weren’t ‘just being children’, they weren’t being cute or playful - they were being irritating brats. I don’t expect to spend my hard earned money going out for a meal and being disturbed by children whose parents haven’t bothered to teach them basic table manners or restaurant etiquette.

Did we over-react?
We paid for what we ate and left.

Where is the overreaction?

the little one (2 years old), between courses, got up and wanted to see what was going on at the bar, which was right next to our table. There were empty stools and she started climbing them, without disturbing anyone. She happened to touch one of the plates that was laid out for future patrons

I have a family member who is a restaurant manager and they are on the brink of making the restaurant child free because of shit like this. They really really don't want to but even the owners are in agreement that it's only a matter of time before a child gets seriously hurt and the parents will sue them.

Yes. I am surprised you need to ask!

This is quite clearly completely fabricated. Yawn.

YABVU.
Restaurants are for sitting down and eating. Children should not be wandering around the space and climbing on stools. If you take a child to a restaurant they should sit down and eat. You should as a parent be having a conversation with your child at the table, keeping them amused and teaching them expected behaviour. If they get restless, then an adult should take them outside to run around for five minutes or you have a bag of tricks to keep them amused. If your children, for whatever reason, cannot sit still and would not cope in a restaurant then you don't take them - you go somewhere where lively children wandering around and climbing is acceptable.

Reading between the lines I wonder if they had ordered more stuff but only paid for what they had actually eaten by that point.

Have you thought of trying to parent or perhaps only going to restaurants that have play areas for kids, like IKEA?

Very unreasonable, yes. And a two-year-old isn't a baby.

Very unreasonable.
Babysitters are great at this age.

People want to eat out in peace and don’t want ‘impeccably behaved’ kids touching their things.

It’s also dangerous as there’s loads of hot items in restaurants.

Also, and I am really sorry to break it to you, but not everyone wants to be forced into wearing their ‘aren’t those kids adorable’ faces when their trying to enjoy a meal out and maybe even enjoying a nice break from their own ‘adorables.’

No, I don’t want food where a kid has put their grubby fingers on the plate

they were right, control your kid 🤷‍♀️

'At that point, a staff member became irate, telling us to sit down and that now she'd have to change the plate because the baby had touched it. I was very shocked.'

You say you were shocked but what did you actually expect them to do? Not swapping it would have been wrong-surely?

Yes, you're extremely unreasonable. A restaurant is not a playground. The chairs are not there for toddlers to climb. The staff are not there to keep wandering children safe. And if I were a customer there, I'd be more than disgusted if a child had touched the plate with my food on it. Kids stick their fingers up their noses and in their mouths, and touch the floor, all the time.

This kind of entitlement by parents is increasing. It used to be normal for children to be kept under control, seated at the table, or left at home with a babysitter. I would have brought my child back to the table immediately, and certainly the moment she started trying to climb a chair.

Even I'm not falling for this one.

Try harder.

Are you for real? My DD is 2 and also struggles to sit still for long at meal times, which i always make sure she has an activity like drawing to do and she's never been anywhere beyond our village cafe and toby carvery to eat at yet. Your child shouldn't have been allowed to do this.

Yes extremely unreasonable- the baby would have been a health and safety hazard in that environment. The staff were probably watching nervously waiting for the inevitable accident that would have occurred if the baby hadn’t been stopped

It’s so tiresome isn’t it? Don’t people have better things to do with their day?

Come on you can't seriously be this self centred?!

The kid should not have been wondering around, even if she was close to the table. she certainly shouldn't have been climbing the bar stool and touching plates.

You are either making this up, it's a reverse or you are one of the most ignorant and clueless people ever who should not be responsible for small children

It’s frustrating when you have DC and want to catch up with friends but letting them explore the restaurant isn’t the answer. At that age I’d usually have people to ours and cook, that way DC can play with their toys and we can catch up. Or we’d meet somewhere kids can run around. For a while restaurants aren’t the ideal meeting place unfortunately, both for the sake of staff and other patrons and DC.

You’ve clearly never worked in a bar or restaurant then. If children can’t sit still for the entirety of the meal they should be taken outside between courses IMO which is what I would do with mine. Who regularly go to restaurants.

i don’t mind children at all but you can’t let a 2 year old “explore” in a restaurant. What if someone didn’t see them and bumped into the kid? Or dropped something?

Plus climbing stools and having plates within reach (and interfering with the staff’s work!) is just unsafe.

I took DD out many, many times and she never wandered, a 2 year old can sit through a meal just fine.

I have worked in restaurants for years, I believe it.

If I was to tell you some of the things people do, you would probably think I was lying.

Like the guy who told me to fuck off three times just this week because he let his dog (dont get me fucking started on dogs in restaurants), a large lab, lie down in the middle of the main service thoroughfare and I had to ask him to move it. When I said that I didnt want the dog to get hurt I got "Fuck off....just fuck off......just FUCK OFF" and then he left. Charming.

Impeccable = sat down reasonably quietly.
Poor behaviour= climbing over furniture, touching plates.