Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Lighthearted! Things kids say

42 replies

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 15:26

Okay I am dreading my 2yo DS starting nursery. He just had a whopper of a poo, really struggled bless him, he had a sweat on and everything. I cuddled him and helped him get it out, and then he said "hurt bum", so I said "aww baby did that hurt, mammy put cream on for you it will be okay". And now he keeps repeating over and over again "mammy hurt my bum" 🤦🏻‍♀️ he's gonna get me in bother this boy!
What funny things have your DC said? I love the silly things they come out with.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Whereismyfleeceblanket · 18/09/2025 15:27

I heard ds 16 saying Where have you been? Come here my beauty.
To a loaf in the freezer...
The daft things said aren't only from small dc ime.

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 15:30

@Whereismyfleeceblanket 🤣🤣🤣 I love this. We need the laugh reaction back!

Keep them coming MNers

OP posts:
dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 15:31

Okay irrelevant but has the site been updated? My post is now pink with "My Posts" above it, this is new..

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 18/09/2025 15:52

Thought my eyesight was going funny! Change it back ASAP mn!!

TiredofLDN · 18/09/2025 15:53

DS this week asked for a muffin before dinner. I said no. He marched about the house chanting “I want a muffin. I want a Studmuffin. I want a muffin. I want a Studmuffin”.

no idea where he’s even heard the word “Studmuffin” but it was very funny.

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 16:08

@TiredofLDN
This is excellent 😅

OP posts:
dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 16:09

@Whereismyfleeceblanket agree I hate it. Looks so busy on a thread now 😬

OP posts:
NJLX2021 · 18/09/2025 16:25

In the previous summer my son was fishing with his grandpa.. who caught a few Pollock...

You can guess what happened. P became B, and a little boy ran happily across the beach shouting proudly about his grandpa's amazing...

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 16:37

@NJLX2021 this is my favourite 😅

I forgot my DS calls chicken "shittin", so when he wants chicken he repeatedly says "mammy shittin"

OP posts:
Wynter25 · 18/09/2025 16:39

My son called me an arsehole today 😅

Yesterday or the other day I heard my son shouting that his sister has done a shit.

Son is 3 and daughter is 1.

newrubylane · 18/09/2025 16:50

I bought a new hat today, a baker-boy style. Put it on to show my 6 year olds and DD said 'you look only a tiny bit like a policewoman' 😆

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 18:03

@Wynter25 @newrubylane these are great 😅 I remember calling my dad a nobhead when I was younger and having no idea what it meant !

OP posts:
Nameynamechange123 · 18/09/2025 20:34

Lol my dd when she was small and was quite hard to understand loved naming the colours of cars, she would say ‘red car’, ‘blue car’ etc. Our car was a white car… bet you can all guess what that sounded like when she was shouting it in her slurry toddler voice 😂

2025mustbebetter · 18/09/2025 20:38

My daughter has some classics. She's now 16 and only a few weeks ago she asked if a stye stands for a "spot in t'eye" she's quite special.

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 20:40

@Nameynamechange123 this took me a minute, my OH is giving me strange looks as I whisper in toddler speak "white car" 🤣🤣

OP posts:
dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 20:40

@2025mustbebetter that will forever be the way I say that now 😅😅

OP posts:
2025mustbebetter · 18/09/2025 20:45

Actually on the same day her older sister (18) when she couldn't string her sentence together said she had "cold head worms"

Honestly I probably should be worried about them I think.

Notsandwiches · 18/09/2025 20:48

My daughter at about age 4 telling my sunbathing male neighbour to get a shirt on "cos nobody wants to look at that". It was the neighbour who told us.

Same daughter at about 2.5 seeing me without my bra on and saying "there's 2 of them!"

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 20:49

@2025mustbebetter I love this 😅 yes maybe a tad worried ...

OP posts:
ZippyKoala · 18/09/2025 20:49

My fav from this week was sorting the washing with my 2yr old daughter and I held up some of my underwear and asked whose it was (which we'd been doing on and off with other items throughout).

She said "mummy's", thought about it for a moment and then added "but daddy wear them just sometimes".

I died laughing. DH swears he doesn't... but not sure where she got it from otherwise! 😂

dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 20:51

@Notsandwiches your daughter sounds amazing 😅 this reminds me of the time at swimming when we were all getting changed and he kept saying "mammy no wee" and I was like yes I know mammy not wee here I'm a big girl I go to the toilet and he pointed to my privates and went "no mammy, no have wee". He finally realised I have no willy 🤣

OP posts:
dontcomeatme · 18/09/2025 20:53

@ZippyKoala im dying this is hilarious!! Daddy is definitely lying 🤣 imagine being ratted out by your kids, I love this

OP posts:
Achanceto · 18/09/2025 20:53

Me getting dressed, wearing a thong.

My young DS ‘mammy, you've left your cheeks out!!

Twimbledonia · 18/09/2025 20:56

Loving these!
So many but for me funniest was at the swimming pool when DH took DS2 into the changing cubicle after swimming and the piercing little voice was heard (because it is always so piercing) ‘Daddy, your willy is so big!’
Cue everyone looking at DH when they emerged😀😀😀

Lovelynames123 · 18/09/2025 21:00

It just popped on my Facebook memories, dd1 saying when she was older she wanted to grow boobies so she could feed dd2. Also told dd2 that they were inside mummy together but she swam out and left dd2 alone 🤣

Swipe left for the next trending thread