Giving up room for children

[Lily189]

Hi everyone ☺️

I have 3 children my eldest son is 5 at the end this month he has severe autism, my daughter is 3 and youngest son is 1
I live in a 2 bedroom house been on hosuing transfer list for year now no luck

I love my house and rhe garden is amazing for my autistic son as its big and we have lot of outdoor equipment for his sensory needs
Big issue is hes terrible sleeper even with his melatonin and my daughter is now in nursery and being woke by him
My youngest son sleeps in my room with me and my partner our room is packed because we have a double bed cot clothing storage

Me and my partner are looking at getting folding beds and giving up our room for the youngest two
When see these beds and there perfect for storage in our livingroom as it not the biggest and the shape could have one each side chimney breast ,this website seems like a scam and I cant find any with cabinets like this anywhere anyone any ideas where get one all advice be great thank you

We have a folding bed for guests that slides under the sofa. That could be an option too. The mattress is thin though and I wouldn’t like to think I was sleeping on there every night. Have you looked at sofa bed options?

Sorry @Lily189 but I'm active on the pregnancy and conception boards and have seen your threads. Also commented on one I believe.

I cannot understand why, in your current situation with 3 kids (one severely autistic) and a house that has too few rooms for you all, you are even considering having a fourth child. A house that is paid for, sponsored by, whatever you want to call it, other people.

Rather selfish and in no way are you thinking of your current children. The mind boggles.

All other issues aside (definitely no more babies), these are not designed for daily sleeping. They are like camping cots. Temporary solution only. You need a futon or fold out sofa.

My partner works im my sons carer i never asked people's opinions on my life I asked about a bed nice see so many people run people down on a website ment to be for mums to be able to ask for advice yet seems alot people just like come on and be nasty to people my kids are very well looked after not that its anyone's business never understand people who go out their way to judge and criticise others ,have a nice day !

Sorry you lost me when you said you were waiting for the council to house you. So you add to yohr family that you can’t house and the council has ro find you a bigger house whereas some people who can’t claim from the council have to stop at one child because they can’t afford another.
Sorey OP- yes this is a theead for women but if you don’t see why people are questioning your life choices, then perhaps you need to think about it more

Op, can you look for a long high backed sofa bed, buy 2 single matresses, that you can store done the back of the couch during the day. Not ideal but would save your back in the meantime. Not ideal and obviously don't know the size of your livingroom

Think this could be a troll?

You appear to be planning on increasing your family to whatever size necessary for the council to give you the house you want.
Of course people are going to judge you 🙄
Shame on you.

I think you are being naive to think that people won't judge you. They are just being realistic. Maybe you should be as well.

I really don't think anyone's been nasty here

People are just understandably incredulous that you'd be trying/thinking about have another baby in this situation.

Just to say if you did have another baby the council could say you’ve made yourself intentionally overcrowded.

Nothing wrong with the 2 youngest sharing.

You're planning on a 4th child but can't even house the 3 you have? To the point you're wanting to sleep on flimsy beds that turn into a cupboard?
so you'll have a 4th child and expect the council just to house you?

damn.. if you do actually go on to have a 4th child, you and your partner should be expected to pay every single expense for them. It's not down to the council and people like us to house you and your kids.

so selfish.

I hope the council refuse to move you.

I hope that's the case.

Im not increasing my family for a house wtf is that to say I want another baby because I love my children and want one more some people just love act like they know all and be nasty to people for no reason

I love children too and my child
Sometimes you've got to think of the practicalities as well though haven't you

You Can’t House The Ones You’ve Got Adequately.
What is wrong with you?

Wanting another one is fine @Lily189 actually acting on that want is absolutely categorically selfish!! To be honest I’m struggling to see why you had the third. I lived in a 2bed house when I had my first…I moved to a three bed before I had the second. That’s what normal people do. Ffs…those poor kids

Your autistic child will need you to look after him for the rest of his life. Every extra child you have will be actively taking away from the help you can give your other three. It is also reasonably likely that at least one of the other two will be autistic given how genetic it is. How will you help them? What happens if the needs of one of your autistic kids is directly opposite to the needs of the other ones I. E. One needs noise and stimulation and the other one needs silence? Also or costs £100,000 extra in costs to raise a disabled child than an average child. How will you afford the extra costs because benefits won't touch the sides. If you love you kids please think about them before you decide to have another child. And also think about yourself. It will be insanely difficult and could easily cause you to have a mental health breakdown.

The council dont pay my rent my partner works thats why im wanting approval to extend my home which they will only let me do with my sons ot doing a report I never said I expected to be housed or gwt it pay for me asked about a bed to help in meantime and have nothing but people being nasty and acting like they no my situation and how I care for my kids and that they hope I dont have another thanks for that wont be talking no more thank you to the people who suggested beds and answered the question I asked

How selfish of you to think the council should give you a bigger house and thinking about having another one when you can’t cope with the ones you have, utter madness!!!!

I want another baby because I love my children and want one more

I want
I want
I want

We all want things we can't have. You don't need another child. You need to make a head over heart decision in this case. As PP have pointed out, there is a genetic link to neurodiversity. Chances are that your other DC and your new baby, if you have one, may also have neurodiverse tendancies.

Why would you deliberately choose to make life more difficult for yourself and your family?

No-one is being nasty. They are just pointing out the realiities and pitfalls for someone in your situation.

I've got 3 kids in a 2 bed. I fell pregnant before moving in to the 2 bed house. Shit happene sometimes. I wouldn't have it any other way. Will eventually get a bigger house

I’m sorry you feel upset about comments on here. Posters are trying to point out that no matter how much you might want another child, having another when you have a difficult housing situation and what sounds like a low income, means it’s a really unwise thing to do. we seem to have got into a way of thinking that everyone deserves to have as many children as they want when it should be about making the life of your existing children better.

But you have made your situation quite clear…your house is overcrowded and you want another child. It’s selfish and stupid regardless of who pays the rent!! The fact that you don’t see that speaks absolute volumes @Lily189