How long does it take your 5 year old to get ready in the morning?

[Acornacorn2]

my 5yo takes ages getting ready in the morning and that’s with constant reminders and me helping her. If I don’t help her or give her constant reminders, it’d take her much, much longer.
today it took 50mins.
10 mins to decide what she wants for breakfast. She avoids answering what she’d like and then deliberately tries to pick arguments - “but today I don’t need a drink because I’ll drink the milk in my cereal” me: “it’s important to stay hydrated so we all need to have a drink in the morning. What would you like?” Her: no answer despite asking her a few times so I got her water. 5minutes later: “wahhh! I don’t want water”

ate breakfast. She gets distracted chatting to her brother so it takes a while.
then get dressed. I laid out her clothes. She can physically get herself dressed but if I leave her unattended she gets distracted; lying on her bed, chatting to herself, playing with something. I have to break it down into small steps and may ask her to put her pants on, for example, 8 times before she does it. And even then I often end up just helping her get dressed or we’d be there forever.
brushing hair and clean teeth. Similar story. If I ask her to go to the bathroom she’ll often get distracted en route even though it’s opposite her bedroom.
I try to be patient but it all takes about 3 times longer than it needs to. No concerns about her hearing. She gets lots of 1:1 attention and love.
is this what some 5yos are like?
her brother was getting dressed and ready quickly and largely independently at age 3.

Usually I give at least an hour from waking up to leaving the house. It’s unreasonable to expect small kids to understand rushing and urgency IMO

We have half an hour in the mornings we have a set routine which helps
We get up, we do breakfast we go upstairs to get dressed I do hair and teeth we go downstairs shoes and out of the house.
We have alarms set for the transitions. On good days we eat breakfast together if she's slow eating her breakfast i feed her a couple of spoonfuls to get her back on task. We then go upstairs and we get dressed together she mostly does it herself maybe with a little help with pinafore or get her undressed to get her moving.

On bad days when she doesn't want to go to school I have to do most of it for her and I can get her up and out of the house in 10 minutes. Not ideal but some times needs must.

Mine is quite the procrastinator too. We leave about 1hr15 between wake up and leaving. DD4 isn't allowed to come downstairs until she's had a wee and gotten dressed. It usually speeds her up when we say we're about to go down and does she want help getting dressed or we're going downstairs without her. No choice on drink here - always water. Choice of cereal/toast or scrambled eggs. I do her hair while she eats. If she eats in enough time, then she can use the remaining time for playtime before we leave. I find there lots of pushback on brushing teeth, but it's non-negotiable!!

Also if mine is dawdling about a choice (say type of cereal), I will eventually use "if you don't decide in 5 seconds, then I'm going to choose for you and it will be X". That often helps!

Clothes laid out the night before, no choice of breakfast (maybe cereal at the weekend), no tv at all and certainly not until everything is done.

About 30-45mins.

He doesn’t eat breakfast really on kindergarten days as has something there. So maybe 1/2 banana and sip of milk. He never drinks much before leaving. I don’t worry, he has water bottle with him and water in cups available there.

He wakes and gets dressed straight away, if he goes downstairs first it’s a huge faff to get him back up. Plus if he faffs after then worse case we just leave and he’s dressed at least

We have an hour between getting up and going in the mornings. No choice for breakfast - I get up before my boys and have their breakfast ready. The procrastination with getting dressed I do feel though - I try and make it a race (can you get dressed quicker than mummy), doesn’t always work though. If left he’ll be playing with something in his room. We have a jar with stars in by the front door, if he gets dressed well he gets to put a star in. It works to a certain extent (until I decide he doesn’t get a star then all hell breaks loose!)

Similar behaviour in similar scenario and similar age! However, our routine is slightly different. I have no magic solution, just saying what we do in case it might help:

• I allow 60/75 minutes between getting up and leaving home in the morning. There is enough time to be slow if needed.
• I don't give a choice of breakfast. I know what he will eat/needs/like and I just get it ready in front of him.
• Controversial, but I get his uniform ready and I help him getting dressed. This only happens in the morning as he's perfectly capable of doing it, so any other occasion (every evening, sports, weekends etc) he gets dressed by himself. It's just too much of a battle in the morning and I can't take it. He also gets in a bad mood so not worth the hassle.
• He knows that to be allowed to play downstairs he needs first to have gone for wee/teeth, so that gets done without complains and it's now part of the routine.
• When we leave, we play a silly game that involves having his shoes on (think about a mini-race) and he really likes it. So when we get to the door he's quick in putting them on to play this game before we reach the car.

I wouldn't bother with hassling about drinking water first thing in the morning. Give her breakfast and a drink, she can eat/drink it or not, tell her to get dressed and go. Get them to have breakfast separately if they are distracted by chatting.

Oh hell. Mine is 4, and it goes like this:

Me: "DS, it's time to get dressed. Take your PJs off please... DS, take your PJs off. DS? Please take your PJs off. DS! I'm talking to you. Please take your PJs off!"
DS: "why?"
Me: "it's time to get dressed. Please take your PJs off... DS, here are your pants. DS, your pants. Put your pants on DS. Come on, you need to get your pants on. DS, if I have to ask you again you won't get a star. DS!!!! Pants!!!! Now!!!"
DS: "why?"

Now I'm hoping this isn't abnormal!

ND dc is hard work, at 8 I still put socks and shoes on, and he needs constant reminders to do anything, despite having a visual timetable. He will put underwear and trousers on, clean his own teeth now which is a huge win.
Younger NT dc is a walk in the park.

I don't ask them what they want for breakfast, and just put it out (I have it planned and half set the night before, when I pack their bags and make up their water bottles). If they don't answer if they want milk/ juice/water to drink I'll just decide for them.

The biggest difficulty I have is getting them out of the door. Dc1 refuses to wear school tops until we leave, he then screams for coat on top, this means I can't do his hair until this is done. His younger sibling is shell shocked by his behaviour as doesn't understand why older dc hits himself in the face. Then I have to put his socks and shoes on or he'll just sit there, or have an autistic melt down if I raise my voice. My youngest is very independent but has now started copying dc1's shoe behaviour. 🙄

We (I) get up at 7.20 to sort out the cat so it's over and done with and then I wake up my DD at 7.30. She's not a morning person (even though the past 4 years she got us up early ) and wouldn't get up till about quarter to. I always go in to try and get her up, explain what's happening, why we need to, open the curtains and blinds, etc. Then she has her breakfast and goes to the toilet and it would be about 5 past 8. Getting changed is a nightmare and I'm dreading the winter months cause she wouldn't want to get up and get ready. I help her in the mornings for now for changing her cause it's an argument not worth fighting over and picked up school socks with no seams as she gets really agitated with them. Hair brush is sometimes ok, I ask if she wants a pony tail or braids and I put on the sesame street I like my hair song while I'm doing it. Then I let her play for a bit or watch 1 episode of bluey as it's short while her dad's in the shower so she would be changed by about 20past. Then teeth brush, shoes on and she's ready by half past.
We're very lucky as we live round the corner from the school but if you're not close by, I would say getting up earlier would help so you're not on a complete rush. Maybe even doing games in the morning would help like "Whose gonna win getting changed? Mummy/daddy or child?" And then start the game. If you have a lot of choices of cereal, reduce it down to just two to pick and then can ask the night before what they would like on the morning. Get a little milk jug so they can pour their own milk so they can pick cereal quicker as they made it themselves. Even a game to the school gates would work "Do you think we can race child's friend to the gate? Let's get ready quick and see if we win!" Just all these daft things that has helped me in the past. Maybe just put the cup of water down next to your child and say cheers to the morning when you have a tea/coffee so they can cheers you and take a drink could help. Sorry for the ramble, just a list of ideas to help in the mornings. Got another 10 years of this

Forgot to mention as well, that dc1 has told me he hates me and that I'm big fat Mum (I'm size UK 8-10). He then told me he'll decide today if he will forgive me for my behaviour this morning, because I apparently shouted 😪

We operated on a timescale in the mornings in order to get the Tube to school (DH did the morning school run). No choice over breakfast options and they knew that after breakfast they had to have a wash, do their teeth and get dressed. DH did their hair.

Anything from 5 mins to… an age! I suspect she is ND, and does seem to have sensory issues so we can sometimes spend 15 mins trying to find socks that are “right”. She can 100% get ready by herself, but on school days I will help her. I wouldn’t leave her to get on with a task by herself because she would get distracted.

I allowed an hour and a half at that age. With a different alarm tone for each phase of the morning.

Minimal decisions - clothes (uniform), breakfast was cereal by default, or toast if they objected but the default option usually carried.

I dressed them, or “cuddled them into their clothes” because I just couldn’t be doing with all the procrastinating. They could change themselves later in the day, but they weren’t at their best that early, and I wasn’t that patient.

We followed the commands of the alarms. Time for hair. Time for brushing teeth. Time for coats, time for hunting for missing shoes, etc and I let them play in between if they were fast, but never, ever on screens in the morning (this has proved so important later when school refusal kicked in)

Personally I was happy to trade off some sleep and efficiency for a calm, happy morning.

Same as OP! Endless discussion and rushing things has the potential to result in meltdown and more time wastage! Easier than the baby stage though 🤭

My son is four. We all get dressed upstairs before coming down for breakfast. Avoid the farting about. If he’s in a bad mood, I just brush his teeth at bedtime.

I then give him something that isn’t too messy like fruit toast with jam, or toast with peanut butter. He thinks he has a choice, but it’s just basically. He has a tabard that stops him getting dirty. I stand with a coffee and faff about while he eats it. I put the iPad on cause it distract him and he just sits ests. Then shoes on when we go out the door.

He is perfectly capable of getting himself dressed, but I normally come in and he hasn’t done it so I just help him do it for the sake of time. if I waited for half an hour every single day 10 hours a month of my life.

Just get them dressed upstairs, come downstairs and offer two different options that are basically Toast. Works for me and we are usually out the door 30 minutes.

Takes my 6 year old 3-5 business days.

Approximately eleven years. At least it feels like it. My twins are actually 6 (and a half, they would have me add) but yeah it's a slow process. Gradually getting better, but still so much not listening, time wasting and not being able to find things that are right in front of their noses.

Mine is 7 now, but I don’t think we’ve done things differently since school started (or before because I have an older one, so we’ve always been getting up and out the door).

I wouldn’t expect a 5 year old to get ready for the day independently. A 10/11 year old, yes, but a 5 year old will need help speeding things along and time keeping.

We officially get up for the day at 7am, though sometimes he wakes earlier. 7-8am, he can do what he wants, play, watch tv, I will make breakfast if he wants. My older one leaves for the bus at 8am, so before 8 is focused on getting her out the door. This gives him time to wake up and chill.

Between about 8:10 and 8:35, he gets dressed (with assistance, takes 5 minutes) and eats breakfast (takes however long he wants, it just eats into playtime). We leave by 8:40 at the absolute latest, usually by 8:30/35.

I think the key is not dragging it all out. It’s bam, bam, bam, dressed, fed, out the door, but without being rushed because we all get up early and are organised.

Thanks having multiple alarms is an idea I hadn’t considered.

Thanks everyone. Sounds like there’s quite a wide range of experiences.
Lack of choice or autonomy leads to meltdowns here. But choices lead to indecision and time wasting.
parenting isn’t easy

DS1 is five and a half, and we have DS2 who is two. School/nursery mornings are a rush because our school starts at 8.20am, so while DS1 can dress himself and does at the weekend, we basically do it all for him during the week as otherwise he’d be faffing around all morning and we’d never get out the door. We do the following:

6.30 DS1 allowed to wake us up (he wakes earlier but plays in his room).

6.45 Breakfast - I choose and present them with it to prevent further faffing.
PJs still on to avoid messing up school clothes.

7.00 wake DS2 if he’s not up

Breakfast takes ages because of all the chatting and larking about.

7.20ish start cleaning teeth, washing faces, getting dressed etc. This is usually done in the style of a military exercise as it seems to be the only way the five year old will focus enough to enable us to do it!

Any spare time afterwards is for playing.

7.50am shoes on and leave the house

It can be a rather stressful rush with all their procrastinating but we usually manage it!

I get her dressed and hair done first. I find that breakfast expands to fill all time available - with slow eating, trying to play instead etc. So if she's late getting ready then it's easier to chivvy her to eat quicker. The other way around I was always late and stressing.