Who do you love and care for more?

[2cleverlovingchildren]

As title says - who do you love and care for more - DP or kids or both the same (obviously in different ways)? And if at all possible can you state why?

my DD - it’s just primal

My child, every time.

If you'd asked my parents this my dad would have said us kids. My mum would have said my dad. That was very clear to us as children and it was difficult to be honest.

I would then resent him tbh

My children 100%
When I was with the father of my first 3 children he came a very close second. With the father of my 4th child I’m not all that fussed tbh.

Don’t Know how to answer that as I don’t know how I would measure love so how can I say who I love most.

My baby. She's only one. But she's the love of my life, and that will never change, even when she's an adult.

I adore my wife (we're both women), but would prioritise my little girl in a heartbeat.

I think most women would say the same tbh. The other parent obviously loves and would also prioritise their child, but I personally don't think the non-carrying parent experiences the absolutely overwhelming feeling of protection/love as intensely. There's a reason it's easier for the other person to walk away. You don't often get mum's walking out on children.

Why? They wouldn’t have chosen to become dependent on you. But situations and circumstances do happen in life.

Now that ds is 21 things are a bit different. Dp moved in when he was 19 and I can’t honestly say it was the best thing for ds, really at any point, but I did it anyway and felt that as he was at university, it was reasonable to prioritise myself over him to that extent. He and dp are perfectly civil and getting friendlier, but it’s not a close relationship so that’s not ideal. Obviously I would never have considered moving somewhere there wasn’t space for him etc.

I still would say that I love ds more than dp but in practical terms I wouldn’t blame ds for feeling like it doesn’t show.

When Dh was alive and very ill, and ds was small, I prioritised ds. Again he may not always have thought so. It was very very difficult.

Obviously kids needs and safety comes above anything else but that doesn't mean I don't love my husband less than them. I love them all very much, just in different ways