Is it innapropriate for in laws (female) all to share a changing room with my 6 year old son when they take him swimming?

[boymumtoone]

Not sure if this is inappropriate or if I am looking into it too much but my 6 year old son's grandma, auntie, 2 cousins and great grandma all go swimming together once a week during half terms which is great for my son and he has a lovely time swimming however the other day a comment was made that my 6 year old saw his aunties boobies and I was confused at first but my son told me after that when they go swimming together they all share one changing room at once (my son, his grandma, his auntie, his two little cousins and great grandma). Hence him seeing his aunties "boobies".

i don't think I'm comfortable with them all getting dressed and naked in front of my 6 year old son especially being the age his is as he is at an age where his notices a lot more (rather than being a baby that doesn't take any notice of things like that).

obviously I know taking him swimming would mean that somebody would need to share a changing room with him to get dressed but my son being exposed to multiple (naked) women in one changing room is what I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable over.

would anybody else feel the same or do you think I am being silly maybe ?

and what age would be considered not right for the opposite sex to share a changing room with my son?

Actually reminds me of the 90s and that episode in Friends where Chandler sees Rachel's breasts then she thinks it's a green light for her to try to get a peek at his penis in the shower... I was always like, Wtf - the two are not comparable!!

No

I take my grandchildren swimming and we all shower together. I don't know how I'd manage to shower change and supervise them safely if they weren't allowed to see nudity tbh. It's not my first choice one of them once asked me why my tummy was melting 😂😂😂.

I don’t understand why you would be fine with him potentially seeing one relatives (grandma) “boobies” if he went swimming alone with her, but you’re worried about the scenario where everyone gets dressed together (actually preferable from a safeguarding perspective).

Sounds like you either have a personal issue with the aunts, or some hang ups about “boobies”. For me this scenario would be fine. I wouldn’t want my 6 year old daughter in the same situation with uncles and male changing room because…men.

You have a choice to let him carry on going as he is, or take him yourself. If you ask them not to share the changing cubicle you may find they can no longer take him with them…

Yeah agree with this op. I wasn’t giving your ‘6 year old girl with male relatives’ comparison much credit as i knew a paedophile as a child (he was a friend of my parents) and he was actually into boys. There is more risk with men regardless.

I see no problem with the arrangement you’ve described. It makes sense to me that they all use a family sized cubicle, since they are a family and have a child with them.

Also I would be really grateful if any of my relatives took my kids swimming.

Exactly! It’s so tedious the way situations on here gets flipped from female to male as if they’re the same. Of course it’s different with women and a boy versus men and girl. As if the risks are remotely the same. As if boobs and penis are the same. It’s disingenuous to amp up the drama and sense of threat with the what if it was a man angle. It wasn’t. It’s irrelevant.

I’m surprised that’s all he’s seen 😂 I imagine they’re all backs turned, towels wrapped around and the towel slipped.
Either way it’s just a body and perhaps an opportunity to discuss bodies, privacy and respect.

What is it you feel is more appropriate about his grandmother’s “boobies” than his aunt’s? 🤔

No, not all feelings are valid. It’s that mindset that all feelings are valid that lead to unreasonable and extreme behaviour.

Stop sending him if it bothers you so much.

No it’s not inappropriate. He saw some perfectly natural body parts. Why are you making a big deal about this? It’s very normal in many cultures for families to undress together and go swimming, There’s nothing sexual about it. They are literally getting changed,

I don’t understand why a six year old boy thinks there is anything special about “boobies” as compared with an arm or a leg unless he has been exposed to silly adult notions of that term?

I hope you told him that the correct word is breasts and explained their function.

What a wonderful opportunity for your child to be taken swimming by his extended family.

I'm surprised that 3 adults, GGM, GM & Auntie, plus DS and 2 girl cousins, all fit in one changing cubicle.
Thats 6 people in a space designed for 4, or 5 at a push.

How old are the girls ?

I'm sure the kids will start asking for their own cubicles soon enough.
Is your 6yo able to get himself dried and dressed without needing help?

He is 6. The alternative is he goes into a male chagning rooms on his own. With grown men.

It sounds like a lovely thing for you DS to go swimming with all the family, all different ages. And I think it's healthy for him to see women of different ages getting changed. I don’t see what the alternative would be. He's too young to change on his own in the men's changing room. Much safer changing with his family.
What is it that you're worried about OP?

You are being dramatic. Has he never been to a beach? Seen someone breastfeed?

But go ahead, tell him to go into the men's room where 99% if the paedophiles are🙄

As PPs have said YABU, they're just getting changed. You could do with making sure your DS knows "boobies" are just another body part.
Also, what term is it currently in the half term break for?

You’re being ridiculous

Op, if you’re worried about the relatives in particular there is a massive issue but in that case, there are much bigger problems IE they shouldn’t be looking after him. If it’s just about nudity I personally think your reaction is OTT for a 6 year old who’s having a nice trip to the pool with his aunties & nan. I went swimming just last week with my sister, nephews and my daughters and the gym has a huge open changing room. There’s a balance with children and nudity, which is understanding nakedness in certain situations is ok and bodies are normal, and where isn’t ok to be naked and it’s parents responsibility to teach that.

I get the vibe you may not have taken multiple children swimming? When there are a couple or more and multiple adults, it’s completely logical to all go in together so you can all tag team getting ready/getting the little ones ready. Much more efficient!

So what would you prefer them to do I’m intrigued?

Look , I kind of get it. You probably assumed they all split up, GGma on her own, grandma with DS (as his adult), auntie with her two kids. That’s a pretty normal assumption tbh , however it’s a matter of practicality. It’s probably harder to find 3 cubicles together than one big one, plus extra adults mean extra hands to make sure everyone gets changed quickly , whereas by separating, auntie would probably be ages with the others waiting around . The reality didn’t match your expectation/assumption, so now there’s a bit of disconnect, but if you look at it rationally you’ll see it does make sense in that set up , even if it’s not what you expected.

They are doing a nice thing for your son while you are working don’t spoil it. I find it hard to believe they are all in one small cubicle. More like a family changing room.

Kindly, it’s not the same OP. Men are statistically much more likely to display sexually harmful behaviour than women So rightly people feel differently about this scenario…..

I also have a six year old son and if I trusted the family members to keep him safe I wouldn’t have an issue at all.

You are being silly.

He’s six - SO little.

So you're happy to accept free childcare over the summer holidays, but want to dictate that grandma changes her routine for you?
If you are that concerned, look after himself or pay a childminder.

I don’t think it’s a massive deal but if I took my nephew swimming (or a child that wasn’t my own) I’d try to be a bit more discreet getting changed with a towel. I think the cubicle situation sounds a bit confusing whether there was loads or just one. If there’s loads I’d automatically just do one each as a 6 yo is capable of getting dressed themselves.

Oh they’re gits ha ha!!!